What is so wonderful about having children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s fun. You get to re-experience things you did as a child.

What if the things you liked doing as a child are things you do now as an adult? When I look back on my happiest times as a child they were playing with my dog, reading, baking, traveling and going to plays. I can do all those things now.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm sorry people say those things to you.

I am a stay at home and have been wanting to be a mom since I was a child myself. My husband always wanted kids too and loves our life. So, this life is a dream come true. FOR ME.

I would never try to convince someone to have kids. Ever. If you do not want kids and your husband does not want kids, do not have kids. It's really challenging, all around. I would not call it "rewarding" and I LOVE being a mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m really not a person who says this - normally, in fact, I’m the least cheesy person on the planet. But you really can’t understand until you have it. It’s kind of impossible to explain. And I mean this in the kindest way possible because I totally understand how people do not want children.

You can’t understand anything until you experience it. So if having children is a massive mistake for you, you won’t really understand it until you make that mistake. And similarly, if having children is the best thing in the world for you, you won’t really understand it until you have them.

Kids are not like anything else. You cannot give them back. Please don’t have kids if you don’t want them just to see if it changes something in you.

[Anonymous]

Today is one of those days where I wonder that myself.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am also sorry you're having these experiences. I would never, ever, tell someone they should have children. I think especially if you really know you don't want them, you shouldn't have them.

That being said, it is wonderful. I wasn't sure I wanted children and I got pregnant completely by accident. It's the best thing that has ever happened to me. Being a mother has brought me more joy than almost anything else I have ever done in life. I still like my job and care about all the same stuff I cared about before having a child, but now I have this extra thing in my life that is just amazing. I never wax poetic like this in real life though, only in the relative anonymity of the internet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s fun. You get to re-experience things you did as a child.

What if the things you liked doing as a child are things you do now as an adult? When I look back on my happiest times as a child they were playing with my dog, reading, baking, traveling and going to plays. I can do all those things now.

I don’t see raising my kids as re-experiencing my childhood. I see it as experiencing an entirely different childhood. My kids are so different from me and each other that everything is different. Their childhoods are being colored by their personalities and interests - not mine. Part of the undefinable joy of parenthood is watching these helpless creatures grow and develop into fully developed humans independent from their parents.

You may have a kid who hates dogs, books, cookies and sitting still. If that is not ok with you, don’t have kids. It’s fine to enjoy the life and interests that you’ve had from childhood. Truly. I didn’t have kids until my late 30’s. I spent years enjoying my hobbies and interests. Some of those are compatible with young children and others I’ve had to leave behind. I miss somethings but am really happy with what’s relplaced them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I married late in life and have no desire to have children. DH has children from previous marriage. When other women learn that I dyes them to have children, they immediately launch into sermons about how I need to give my husband a child, having children is so rewarding, etc. I don't understand why so many women do this. What is so wonderful about having children that women feel the need to convince me to have them?

I don't doubt that having children brings immense joy and value to many people. However, the people that say this, are the "misery loves company" people. Ignore their comments, and stay away from them in general.

[Anonymous]

It’s like a decades long hands on science experiment.

[Anonymous]

YMMV but my kids are my favorite people. Just seeing their little faces gives me a shot of pleasure. I find them beautiful and endlessly fascinating.

They also give me a sense of meaningful purpose and intensity. Much higher highs and lower lows.

It’s hard but ultimately worth it because I love them but also like them so much.

[Anonymous]

I don’t get people who don’t think it’s rewarding. You don’t find it rewarding or satisfying to watch your kids turn into real people with their own interests, talents, abilities, quirks, etc.? I find the whole thing fascinating. It’s so interesting to watch it happening and know you had a pretty strong hand in their development.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I married late in life and have no desire to have children. DH has children from previous marriage. When other women learn that I dyes them to have children, they immediately launch into sermons about how I need to give my husband a child, having children is so rewarding, etc. I don't understand why so many women do this. What is so wonderful about having children that women feel the need to convince me to have them?

I don't doubt that having children brings immense joy and value to many people. However, the people that say this, are the "misery loves company" people. Ignore their comments, and stay away from them in general.

PP and I agree with this. And I think people just don't know what to say. I would just change the subject. "I'm glad you love your children. It's not for us. Read any good books lately?"

[Anonymous]

OP, some women (not all because I am a sensitive person) after having children lose their own identity. I have 3 kids but even I can’t stand many other moms because I find them boring.

That being said, many people are rude, men and women and put down others’ lifestyles which they don’t understand. Even if you have kids, you’d find people going on and on about the way THEY parent v your way.

[Anonymous]

What’s so wonderful? You help a human enjoy all the things of life for the first time and it’s kinda like reliving it. You have a super strong bond with a person. Super Strong. It’s a fun project for later in life when other things aren’t as interesting anymore. But there’s lots of other things to life and it’s completely not necessary. There are negatives too, like no time for yourself and the cost. Having a kid you don’t want would be hard. Be honest with yourself about your desires and don’t cave to pressure. People say this stuff for weird reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:YMMV but my kids are my favorite people. Just seeing their little faces gives me a shot of pleasure. I find them beautiful and endlessly fascinating.

They also give me a sense of meaningful purpose and intensity. Much higher highs and lower lows.

It’s hard but ultimately worth it because I love them but also like them so much.

Yes!!! This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They provide 24/7 access to the mind of a complete beginner. If you are the kind of person who finds this fascinating (I am), it’s wonderful.

So true!

If you have a talky tween or teen, you will be endlessly entertained (and sometimes terrified).