Mean moms at Schools

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are very few things that parents do at the school that is considered grunt work. Most of it is time spent with their children.

If they're in the classroom, sure, probably. But at most schools, that's only a small portion of the parent volunteer time, far more goes to organizing fundraisers, planning events, decorating display cases for the teachers/offices, etc.

[Anonymous]

Classroom volunteers aren't allowed by our school after kindergarten year. It's a PITA because it's hard to keep up with what our DS is doing in class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Classroom volunteers aren't allowed by our school after kindergarten year. It's a PITA because it's hard to keep up with what our DS is doing in class.

It is? Everything in our kids’ schools are put online...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are very few things that parents do at the school that is considered grunt work. Most of it is time spent with their children.

That's true. Mostly I just go and hold hands with my first-grade kid as we stare lovingly into each other's eyes.
Oh wait, except for those times that I'm giving spelling tests to small groups, reading stories aloud to a group of 25 so that the teacher can work one-on-one with 2-3 students at a time, helping the teacher manage reading or writing workshop stations, filing weekly papers into take-home folders, making copies in the copy room so that teacher doesn't have to spend an additional hour of her time after school every day waiting in line at one of two copiers that the school has, helping with art class, or assisting kids find and checking out books in the library. Nothing to see here, though. Apparently, according to some extremely kind PPs on this thread, we could just stop doing things like this altogether and everything would be smooth as silk because obviously we are just self-important busybodies and the teachers don't really need any assistance from anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are very few things that parents do at the school that is considered grunt work. Most of it is time spent with their children.

That's true. Mostly I just go and hold hands with my first-grade kid as we stare lovingly into each other's eyes.
Oh wait, except for those times that I'm giving spelling tests to small groups, reading stories aloud to a group of 25 so that the teacher can work one-on-one with 2-3 students at a time, helping the teacher manage reading or writing workshop stations, filing weekly papers into take-home folders, making copies in the copy room so that teacher doesn't have to spend an additional hour of her time after school every day waiting in line at one of two copiers that the school has, helping with art class, or assisting kids find and checking out books in the library. Nothing to see here, though. Apparently, according to some extremely kind PPs on this thread, we could just stop doing things like this altogether and everything would be smooth as silk because obviously we are just self-important busybodies and the teachers don't really need any assistance from anyone.

Oh please. Most parents do that so they can get more comfortable with the curriculum, follow their own child, and see how their child compares to others. There is a benefit to their child and themselves by volunteering in this way. There's been so much gossip from parents who do this work that many schools don't allow this direct instruction kind of help anymore. They didn't stop allowing parents because they didn't need the help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are very few things that parents do at the school that is considered grunt work. Most of it is time spent with their children.

That's true. Mostly I just go and hold hands with my first-grade kid as we stare lovingly into each other's eyes.
Oh wait, except for those times that I'm giving spelling tests to small groups, reading stories aloud to a group of 25 so that the teacher can work one-on-one with 2-3 students at a time, helping the teacher manage reading or writing workshop stations, filing weekly papers into take-home folders, making copies in the copy room so that teacher doesn't have to spend an additional hour of her time after school every day waiting in line at one of two copiers that the school has, helping with art class, or assisting kids find and checking out books in the library. Nothing to see here, though. Apparently, according to some extremely kind PPs on this thread, we could just stop doing things like this altogether and everything would be smooth as silk because obviously we are just self-important busybodies and the teachers don't really need any assistance from anyone.

Oh please. Most parents do that so they can get more comfortable with the curriculum, follow their own child, and see how their child compares to others. There is a benefit to their child and themselves by volunteering in this way. There's been so much gossip from parents who do this work that many schools don't allow this direct instruction kind of help anymore. They didn't stop allowing parents because they didn't need the help.

And back to the original comment, it doesn't give you the right to have your own volunteer clique that looks down on and criticize parents who don't. Nor should it give you special privileges. The word volunteer means optional help. Don't do it if you don't want to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: NP, but I'm one of the SAHM/constant volunteer crowd. I can imagine this scenario is very frustrating. But also I've been in the situation where I"ve been told by a teacher that she was reserving the field trip chaperone spots for the parents who "never get a chance to volunteer" and that sucks too! Because, as you can probably imagine, after spending hours in her classroom doing the stuff that no one wants to take off work to do--even if they could swing it!--it would be nice to be rewarded for the hours spent in her classroom by being selected for one of these coveted spots. Not saying I should get preference, but getting passed over for the fun stuff because I "get to help out all the time" is a slap in the face as well.

I'm the father you responded to, and I'll admit I didn't consider the above as a possibility. But I'm also not against the SAHM/volunteer crowd, I appreciate everything you folks do.

[Anonymous]

SAHM's are not the only volunteers at schools. Several of our PTA presidents have even been a working parent. SAHM's tend to be "meaner" because they have more time on their hands to gossip and they are more invested in their social status at a school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there mean Mom behavior at your school?

I can’t believe how catty and mean some moms are. They are way worse than the kids.

I have boys and lead a drama free life.

I wouldn't know. I don't know any of the parents in my son's first grade class except two or three, and that's only because my son is friends with theirs. I don't set foot on school grounds except for parent-teacher conferences and an occasional evening event. I don't volunteer. I don't want to chaperone. I write a nice check to the PTA early in the year and tell them I don't have time to do anything other than write checks. I am happy to leave all that needs doing to people who have time for doing it. Ergo, the moms or dads from school have no presence in my social life, at all.

I don't know how any working parent has time for that nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there mean Mom behavior at your school?

I can’t believe how catty and mean some moms are. They are way worse than the kids.

I have boys and lead a drama free life.

I wouldn't know. I don't know any of the parents in my son's first grade class except two or three, and that's only because my son is friends with theirs. I don't set foot on school grounds except for parent-teacher conferences and an occasional evening event. I don't volunteer. I don't want to chaperone. I write a nice check to the PTA early in the year and tell them I don't have time to do anything other than write checks. I am happy to leave all that needs doing to people who have time for doing it. Ergo, the moms or dads from school have no presence in my social life, at all.

I don't know how any working parent has time for that nonsense.

Some of them do. Maybe they have more flexible jobs or just want to be more involved at the school. Other people like you don't. It's not a requirement to volunteer.

[Anonymous]

Interesting topic. I am surprised to learn how volunteer work is really appreciated by parents from different perspectives. To the person who boasts a big fat check and claims to be too buy for the nonsense at school, you are beyond help but I wish your children good luck. I work and I help at school as well. I have been room parent, field trip chaperone, enrichment class teacher, cafeteria helper, field day helper, class party volunteer, school work folder organizer, class speaker, and many more. I am not a constant presence at school, but I admire and appreciate who are, because they sacrificed their personal time for the benefit of our children. I admit some volunteer parents don’t have the most welcoming personalities, but are all your co-workers nice and sweet? No more excuse for your selfishness and snobbishness!

[Anonymous]

Of course there are cliques at school among the parents- just like in every aspect of life. There are cliques at work, in the neighborhood, at sports, etc... at my kids school the snobbiest mom is actually the parent of three boys. But whatever.

And OP- there is plenty of drama with boys. If you have not experienced it yet- just wait.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are very few things that parents do at the school that is considered grunt work. Most of it is time spent with their children.

That's true. Mostly I just go and hold hands with my first-grade kid as we stare lovingly into each other's eyes.
Oh wait, except for those times that I'm giving spelling tests to small groups, reading stories aloud to a group of 25 so that the teacher can work one-on-one with 2-3 students at a time, helping the teacher manage reading or writing workshop stations, filing weekly papers into take-home folders, making copies in the copy room so that teacher doesn't have to spend an additional hour of her time after school every day waiting in line at one of two copiers that the school has, helping with art class, or assisting kids find and checking out books in the library. Nothing to see here, though. Apparently, according to some extremely kind PPs on this thread, we could just stop doing things like this altogether and everything would be smooth as silk because obviously we are just self-important busybodies and the teachers don't really need any assistance from anyone.

Where are these schools where parents spend so much time working in the classrooms?

At my kids' APS elementary the only time parents are in the classroom w/ their own kids are to do the very occasional "guest reader" activity. I asked about helping in the library and was told they don't use parent volunteers. One year a teacher asked for help filling weekly folders, but that was only done when the kids were out of the room at a special. And, you could be a reading buddy for students who were struggling with reading, but never your own child or their classroom.

The school seemed to run perfectly fine without having parents in the classroom all the time.

[Anonymous]

A former PTA president at my kid's school actually posted on FB how it was OK that her son physically attacked another kid who called his mom fat. The woman is enormous. The kids were 3rd/4th grade.

I couldn't believe I was watching her condone physical violence because of an insult. Mind boggling.

[Anonymous]

A few of the moms in my school are the meanest people I've ever met. They choose targets and bully them until they leave the school. And it's a public school. I've never seen anything like this. I regret buying a home in this neighborhood.