Come in if you're in a happy marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How long have you been married? Do you have kids and do you think that adds or detracts from your happiness as a married couple?

Do you think it's mostly luck that you're happy together or effort or both?

Together 18 years, married 14.
One 11 year old son.

Both, but the effort required mirrors any enjoyable activity, the time flies!
Second marriage for both of us, we each married much too young, first marriage was a disaster for each of us.

[Anonymous]

21years...no effort involved. I guess luck finding the perfect person for me but it didn’t feel like luck choosing the right one- it felt obvious. One kid which added stress but didn’t affect marriage happiness.

[Anonymous]

Married 15 years, together for 20. We knew we wanted to get married within a month of meeting each other, but since we were both in college, we had to wait a while. He's actually my first love, that's how young we were.

Two elementary school kids. They do take a lot of time and energy but if we didn't have them, I'd be depressed about not being a mom so the add/detract cancel each other out. Plus, we had a lot of "just us" time as a couple so I don't feel resentful of not getting to do fun stuff when young.

It's a bit luck - we are compatible in our tastes and approach on child rearing/house keeping/work ethic/libido and some effort - we both make sure to say nice things to each other regularly, do date nights, do little things to make the other person's life easier.

[Anonymous]

Married 6 years and together for 8. One 2 year old. We had all the tough talks and arguments before marriage (mostly about finances and how we save/spend). Our dd is a delight and I love watching dh parent and learn about himself and her and really shed his seriousness a good bit with her. Dd brought a much more patient side in me which helps with marriage things in general. It’s not perfect and it’s work but we have been through some tough times (external things) and came out of them in an even better place realizing we made a good choice in partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How long have you been married? Do you have kids and do you think that adds or detracts from your happiness as a married couple?

Do you think it's mostly luck that you're happy together or effort or both?

Married 15 years! 2 kids (5&3)...added incrediable meaning but stress like I've never expereineced before...in the end we have mostly worked together and are happy!

It's happy because we have made the mistakes and learned from them. For example, my DH cannot take a lot of stress on top of the stress he has for his current job. In turn I have realized at certain seasons of life, I shouldn't push or go full force that would cause a tremendous amount of stress for him. It's sort of learning as you go, making mistakes and learning from them. Thankfully for us, during the learning or mistake times nothing happened that could cause the relationship to end. And let me tell you there were definitely periods where one of us could have turned away.

[Anonymous]

20 years. No effort for the first 10 years. Then the next 5 years it should have taken some effort, but I didn't realize and didn't put it in. Last 5 years have been work!