Why are some posters here in the college forum so nasty?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Often times high academic achievers are endowed with inferior looks and have low sexual power. This makes them angry and idiosyncratic from dysmorphia. They freak out worried about normal or attractive people taking their spot in a highly ranked college leaving them with nothing. Also when they graduate from a well ranked school, they clutch onto it like a life raft hoping it floats them above the ugly rabble of moon crickets and let's them hang with the good looking, cool crowd.

This gave me a good chuckle - thanks!

a lot of good responses (psychology) in this thread. If you see mean, ad hominem, aggressive, useless rants - report them - it will help improve the forum for the rest of us. The 'broken glass' theory of Rudy Guiliani seems to work here as well (i.e. if you see broken glass in the neighborhood, bad behavior is more likely, so keep the glass from being broken).

And keep in mind what the ultimate objective of sending kids to school (and parenting) is: for them to learn to be kind, caring, competent people who are curious, honest and hard working.

Definitely agree with this. A lot of the rudeness come from parents here who may pay lip service to this but ultimately think the only thing that really matters is that enough people have heard of the college and would be jealous that you/your kids go there.

What in the world? (Now I'm going to come off sounding rude). I"m not paying $68k a year for my kid to be "kind, caring, competent people ... etc." DC is already all those things. College isn;t going t teach you those things That's ridiculous.

+1 billion

If you haven’t managed to instill those values in your kids for the 18+ years they lived at home, 4 years at any school isn’t going to do it.

+1000

Is that learned in elementary/middle school? They should have that stuff down before even HS.

IDK, most people that I meet, or read here, aren't. So, it is not that common.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having gone through it, the college process is challenging
A “good” college means nothing if it is not a good fit for their child. As parents, you know your kid.
Having said that, there is one school in our area where we would never send any of our kids. I have never met anyone, not one person, who has gone to Georgetown that I respect. Many think it’s wonderful.
I admit I have trashed Georgetown. Sarcasm can be nasty.

So that’s a good example of what’s wrong. All schools have both jerks and wonderful people who attended. Why malign a college because you met one of the jerks? My mother went to Georgetown. I’m sure some posters went to Georgetown. And some posters kids go there now. Does it make you somehow feel better to trash a school and its students and alums?

As I said, everyone I have met who graduated from GU (undergrad) is elitist and narrow minded. That’s my observation.
And, yes, it does feel good to trash them on an anonymous forum. Because it’s not a good idea to trash them to their snarky faces. That would mean I’d have to listen to more of their BS. Like you don’t profile?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am guessing a certain demographics based on similar experience in these postingsI live in CA in a relatively affluent area with relatively younger population. Mostly newly rich. They tend to be more status conscious. Now I go to even more affluent area, people there are older and are generally very gracious. But even in this group, when in the less affluent crowd, condo owners as opposed to single detached homeowners, they are younger and must feel the pressure of not having arrived yet. They can be nasty. I am guessing the nasty DCUM crowd might be relatively young, newly rich, and probably very status conscious. [/quote

+1. Noticed this also. There appears to be a lot of posters on some of the threads who are hell-bent on justifying their money choices for private schools based on where their kids get into college. There are groups of them that are extremely obnoxious. A few have even tried to get the rest of the thread to take me down a notch or two because my DC did not attend a big 3. They never want to believe that they have spent ungodly money (which many of them could have used for the household) and their kids did not come out ahead in the system. This is new money talking because anyone that's been around for a while, or who has made it through the system, know the scenery and outcomes a bit better.

I have a few friends who sent their kids to more expensive schools than our DC, and our DC seems to be standing out more. It's hard for some of them to accept. Also, DH and I have a few good colleges under our belt. These friends do not. I am betting that it's going to get downright ugly come college admissions time, especially if my DC gets into a higher ranked college.

And don't even go to the Harvard threads. All touches with reality have been lost on some of those threads. But it all boils down to better bragging rights for the new money crowd.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s the college confidential crowd. I see many of the posts on College confidential duplicated word for word on this board. I guess people aren’t getting the responses they want and so they come here and repost. This seems to be one of the DCUM forums that people from all across the country post on, which is also why some of the replies are completely irrelevant. People post on threads insisting that high schools have this or that or colleges are looking for this or that, when they live in Wisconsin or Arizona and have no clue how their situation compares to the DC area. College name recognition, prestige, and results vary widely by area of the country. I think we assume that the people we are conversing with live here and understand our experiences, but half of them have no clue.

[Anonymous]

I think we have some frustrated kids here, who are t quite good enough for the school of their choice, and therefore need to disparage everything.

[Anonymous]

I’m starting to think it’s because college admissions is a moment that crystallizes lots of the economic and educational inequalities that are so pervasive in the US, but that people who benefit from then often want to ignore or justify.

[Anonymous]

My oldest is at least 10 years away from starting the college process, but I occasionally read this forum and have posted here a few times. Several times, I've immediately gotten rude responses, or noticed really rude responses to other posters. I find this to be the case here much more than in other DCUM forums that I frequent (schools, elementary kids, real estate, etc.).

Why are some posters (not all, I see many helpful posters too) so aggressively rude here? Is it because college admissions is like the ultimate or penultimate judgment on our parenting? Why the crabs in the barrel mentality? And finally, am I and other young parents destined to become you guys in the years ahead?

Speculations and predictions are welcome.

Here's a prediction: yes, you will be one of these people. You are already looking at these threads, which says to me that you are uber-competitive. Also, you already said above that you consider what college a student attends to be the ultimate judgment of your parenting.

I feel sorry for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having gone through it, the college process is challenging
A “good” college means nothing if it is not a good fit for their child. As parents, you know your kid.
Having said that, there is one school in our area where we would never send any of our kids. I have never met anyone, not one person, who has gone to Georgetown that I respect. Many think it’s wonderful.
I admit I have trashed Georgetown. Sarcasm can be nasty.

So that’s a good example of what’s wrong. All schools have both jerks and wonderful people who attended. Why malign a college because you met one of the jerks? My mother went to Georgetown. I’m sure some posters went to Georgetown. And some posters kids go there now. Does it make you somehow feel better to trash a school and its students and alums?

As I said, everyone I have met who graduated from GU (undergrad) is elitist and narrow minded. That’s my observation.
And, yes, it does feel good to trash them on an anonymous forum. Because it’s not a good idea to trash them to their snarky faces. That would mean I’d have to listen to more of their BS. Like you don’t profile?

DP but I would be ashamed of myself if I had to hide behind an anonymous forum. I'll explain since it is clear you do not have the background knowledge and value system to understand what I mean.

If you disagree with someone, you don't need to "trash" them. You can politely either disagree (respectfully, I disagree because...) or you can abstain from further discussion through some non sequitur (interesting thought, I'll have to consider it when I have more time, now if you'll excuse me I need to ...). See how it is done? Or, since you have designated some people as "snarky" you just say "oh, what a surprise to see you again, excuse me, please while I go...".

But to take the cowardly way out by making rash generalizations and relying on hyperbole to "trash" someone or a group of people? What does that say about you? Maybe when you do this "trashing" you should make clear your qualifications (what school YOU went to) so that others may have the same opportunity to judge you.

Oh, btw, I did not go to Georgetown and I have no affiliation with Georgetown.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having gone through it, the college process is challenging
A “good” college means nothing if it is not a good fit for their child. As parents, you know your kid.
Having said that, there is one school in our area where we would never send any of our kids. I have never met anyone, not one person, who has gone to Georgetown that I respect. Many think it’s wonderful.
I admit I have trashed Georgetown. Sarcasm can be nasty.

So that’s a good example of what’s wrong. All schools have both jerks and wonderful people who attended. Why malign a college because you met one of the jerks? My mother went to Georgetown. I’m sure some posters went to Georgetown. And some posters kids go there now. Does it make you somehow feel better to trash a school and its students and alums?

As I said, everyone I have met who graduated from GU (undergrad) is elitist and narrow minded. That’s my observation.
And, yes, it does feel good to trash them on an anonymous forum. Because it’s not a good idea to trash them to their snarky faces. That would mean I’d have to listen to more of their BS. Like you don’t profile?

DP but I would be ashamed of myself if I had to hide behind an anonymous forum. I'll explain since it is clear you do not have the background knowledge and value system to understand what I mean.

If you disagree with someone, you don't need to "trash" them. You can politely either disagree (respectfully, I disagree because...) or you can abstain from further discussion through some non sequitur (interesting thought, I'll have to consider it when I have more time, now if you'll excuse me I need to ...). See how it is done? Or, since you have designated some people as "snarky" you just say "oh, what a surprise to see you again, excuse me, please while I go...".

But to take the cowardly way out by making rash generalizations and relying on hyperbole to "trash" someone or a group of people? What does that say about you? Maybe when you do this "trashing" you should make clear your qualifications (what school YOU went to) so that others may have the same opportunity to judge you.

Oh, btw, I did not go to Georgetown and I have no affiliation with Georgetown.

“But to take the cowardly way out by making rash generalizations and relying on hyperbole to "trash" someone or a group of people”

Do you mean like you just did?
You don’t need to explain anything to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Often times high academic achievers are endowed with inferior looks and have low sexual power. This makes them angry and idiosyncratic from dysmorphia. They freak out worried about normal or attractive people taking their spot in a highly ranked college leaving them with nothing. Also when they graduate from a well ranked school, they clutch onto it like a life raft hoping it floats them above the ugly rabble of moon crickets and let's them hang with the good looking, cool crowd.

This gave me a good chuckle - thanks!

a lot of good responses (psychology) in this thread. If you see mean, ad hominem, aggressive, useless rants - report them - it will help improve the forum for the rest of us. The 'broken glass' theory of Rudy Guiliani seems to work here as well (i.e. if you see broken glass in the neighborhood, bad behavior is more likely, so keep the glass from being broken).

And keep in mind what the ultimate objective of sending kids to school (and parenting) is: for them to learn to be kind, caring, competent people who are curious, honest and hard working.

Definitely agree with this. A lot of the rudeness come from parents here who may pay lip service to this but ultimately think the only thing that really matters is that enough people have heard of the college and would be jealous that you/your kids go there.

What in the world? (Now I'm going to come off sounding rude). I"m not paying $68k a year for my kid to be "kind, caring, competent people ... etc." DC is already all those things. College isn;t going t teach you those things That's ridiculous.

+1 billion

If you haven’t managed to instill those values in your kids for the 18+ years they lived at home, 4 years at any school isn’t going to do it.

I don't know if college can *teach* conscientiousness and kindness, but I certainly want my son to attend a college where conscientiousness and kindness are valued.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think we have some frustrated kids here, who are t quite good enough for the school of their choice, and therefore need to disparage everything.

+1
And I would add, the frustrated parents of these kids post here too, disparaging every school that rejected their kid.