Anyone ever get so tired of doing everything for every freakin holiday

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven't got to start holidays yet so I'd be excited to start. Every holiday we stay at relatives and there's no room for any new traditions. My kids stockings are filled, other people buy them presents from santa (wtf) and other raster bunnies leave baskets. Someday

This would be a big no for me. The minute I had kids, we set our own traditions in our own house.

Well our options are either to see family or get nuclear traditions. I wish we lived nearby

We purposely don't visit out of state family at the holidays to avoid all the pressure for the perfect holiday. We celebrate as our own family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DCUM Martyrs n Doormats Brigade.

Delegate
Set boundaries
Ask for help
Be specific
Don’t do things you don’t enjoy
Buy stuff you don’t want to make
Communicate

Exactly! Decide what you want to do, and ask others to participate.

Yes, but then how could they be the martyrs they so desperately love to be?

[Anonymous]

Scale back, change your behavior. Decisions in the extreme are unnecessary. What do you dislike the most? Start there. With a lot of lead time make it known that you will not be doing X. Someone else can direct the task, or it doesn't get done. I did this w/the Christmas Tree. Decorating it is not something I enjoy. No drama. Just honesty.

[Anonymous]

I don’t make holidays a big deal anymore. I acknowledge them, but do more activities out of my house than in. It was too stressful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DCUM Martyrs n Doormats Brigade.

Delegate
Set boundaries
Ask for help
Be specific
Don’t do things you don’t enjoy
Buy stuff you don’t want to make
Communicate

Exactly! Decide what you want to do, and ask others to participate.

Yes, but then how could they be the martyrs they so desperately love to be?

Nailed it!

[Anonymous]

Decide what ages you plan to stop at. We stopped all the "santa" stuff at 10, well past the age they stopped believing. Stopped all the Easter basket stuff around the same time. Had some Easter candy for everyone to share and done, then go to church.

Decide how long you will do it and how much effort you plan to put in it. I had much more fun with holidays before moving to the DC metro. It's stressful here enough as it is, I'm trying not to add holiday stress too.

[Anonymous]

Just don’t do it. I do very little. I try and not be unpaid labor for men

[Anonymous]

I don't understand posters who say their kids are ungrateful. Maybe you're doing sh!t no one cares about...Both my kids are thankful for their "baskets"--we got them some candy and clothes they wanted.

They're 13 and 11. I don't do much else though. We don't have easter decorations and have a tree and wreath at Christmas. No elves on shelves. Maybe I have set the bar so low, but probably not. Don't you teach your kids to be grateful? If not, start.

[Anonymous]

No, because I don’t overdo everything, and know how to delegate and ask for help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I love the holidays and my spouse and children do, too.

You can love the holidays without going overboard.

It's not overboard if you do it for yourself and you enjoy it. My mom always set up some sort of holiday display on the DR hutch and smaller decorations elsewhere in the house for most holidays. She loved holidays and I now love to do this for my kids who also like it and comment. With decorations you can take your time. start early and enjoy them for a while. For me that's pleasant, not stressful. What's stressful for me is cooking a big meal in a single day, having to clean up the house and then do the dishes that day or the following day. Especially Thanksgiving since the menu is so standardized--as a cook there was not a whole lot of pleasure menu planning. Over the past few years we've started ordering the meal and it's been great. No prep, simple cleanup, no stress.

[Anonymous]

I absolutely love the holidays and all their festivities. With young kids, the holidays are just so special and memorable. We do a lot of the holiday "stuff" - visits to see Santa or Christmas light shows, elf on the shelf, egg hunts, church, cookie baking.

That being said, I'm not a huge decorator with the exception of Christmas. Maybe a few Easter knick knacks, a garland for the fireplace and a festive spring wreath on the door. I'm just not that good at it.

And we eat our holiday meals out because I'm also not an organized chef and we have no extended family in town. No dishes, no crowded grocery store shopping, no fuss. I make a Christmas breakfast but cater the main meal. I will decorate eggs with the kids and make a fun bunny shaped cake with candy decor - but we go out to eat the ham dinner. That to me keeps things fun but with significantly less stress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So stop.

I got rid of all but two bins Christmas decorations. I stopped decorating for all of the rest.

Holiday dinners are small, and I hand out assignments to whomever is coming. That includes my husband and teenage kids. Everyone is happier because the stress is gone.

+1. We scaled down the holidays now that our kids are teens and we wish we did it ages ago! Less decorations, less people invited, less worrying about perfection, less worrying about going to all the holiday "events," and it's all good. We have a nice meal and spend time together. That's it. It's wonderful.

+2
We deliberately didn't create a million "traditions" that made a ton of work. I keep decorations reasonable, etc., and focus on relaxing and spending time with family. I'm not stressed (although I do all the work for every holiday) because I only take on what I want to and can handle.

[Anonymous]

When we lived in DH's home country MIL always did everything for Christmas and Easter. I hated never waking up in my own house on Dec 25 but did not care about Easter. Last year we moved. We had been planning to go to Mass but DD became sick yesterday so we stayed home. No special dinner, no egg hunt. I am burnt out from years of cooking and cleaning for dinner parties and BBQs, making cupcakes for class occasions, birthday cakes at home, planning 3 kids' parties every year, countless play dates, Halloween and Valentine's Day, being Santa and Sinterklaas on Dec. 6. I just don't care. I've already told youngest DD she is getting some hand-purchased Krispy Kreme to bring to her class on her birthday. I'm so done.

[Anonymous]

OP, think about the things that YOU like to do and the things that your kids like to do. Do those things and nothing else. Everyone is different - I love making gingerbread houses - I make the pieces, put them together, obsess about finding the perfect "toppings" and then have a blast setting the whole table up and decorating the houses. That is someone else's version of hell. Make your holidays what you and your family want to do - not what someone else does. Some people think eating out for a holiday is sacrilege. Others think it's amazing because they come home to a clean house and didn't have to lift a finger. Do what works for you, and pick the holidays you care about. St. Patrick's Day came and went in my house with nary a mention. My friend, on the other hand, had her entire house messed up by a leprechaun, made every single food item for all three meals green, and had gift baskets and balloons for her kids. We both enjoyed the holiday in our own way.

[Anonymous]

I just had the simplest Easter of my entire adult life and it was heaven. Immediate family only. Easter "basket" was one toy DS wanted that I wrapped in spring-ish paper and hid. Meal was ham and a couple of family-favorite side dishes. Let DS decide on the activities - we decorated some eggs and played basketball. OP, I highly recommend you scale back and do the things that you enjoy!!!