Sidwell throttling down college admissions?

[Anonymous]

This is the dumbest thread ever.

[Anonymous]

If you think this is the dumbest thread ever, you probably haven't been on DCUM for long.

That said, in our family's experience the college application process at Sidwell plays out more subtly than it's portrayed here. We've had two kids graduate and I've never heard of a kid being flat-out told that s/he can't apply to a specific college. Instead, counselors will hint at how competitive the student's cohort is, and parents can either get that or not, or choose to back off or not. The counselors will write the school recommendation anyway, but, of course, it might not be as supportive as the family might like. OTOH, teacher recommendations can count for a lot more (I say this as a former admissions staffer from many years back). As far as phone calls to admissions officers, honestly that doesn't happen anywhere near as much as people think, and when the calls are made, they're nowhere near as influential either. That said, phone calls can make a difference for wait-listed students. My personal take: do not pick Sidwell or any other school because you think your kid is going to waltz into whatever your fantasy school is for him/her. And, more fundamentally, stop obsessing about college -- there's so much more to life and parenting than that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you think this is the dumbest thread ever, you probably haven't been on DCUM for long.

That said, in our family's experience the college application process at Sidwell plays out more subtly than it's portrayed here. We've had two kids graduate and I've never heard of a kid being flat-out told that s/he can't apply to a specific college. Instead, counselors will hint at how competitive the student's cohort is, and parents can either get that or not, or choose to back off or not. The counselors will write the school recommendation anyway, but, of course, it might not be as supportive as the family might like. OTOH, teacher recommendations can count for a lot more (I say this as a former admissions staffer from many years back). As far as phone calls to admissions officers, honestly that doesn't happen anywhere near as much as people think, and when the calls are made, they're nowhere near as influential either. That said, phone calls can make a difference for wait-listed students. My personal take: do not pick Sidwell or any other school because you think your kid is going to waltz into whatever your fantasy school is for him/her. And, more fundamentally, stop obsessing about college -- there's so much more to life and parenting than that.

Agree with ALL of this 100%

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you think this is the dumbest thread ever, you probably haven't been on DCUM for long.

That said, in our family's experience the college application process at Sidwell plays out more subtly than it's portrayed here. We've had two kids graduate and I've never heard of a kid being flat-out told that s/he can't apply to a specific college. Instead, counselors will hint at how competitive the student's cohort is, and parents can either get that or not, or choose to back off or not. The counselors will write the school recommendation anyway, but, of course, it might not be as supportive as the family might like. OTOH, teacher recommendations can count for a lot more (I say this as a former admissions staffer from many years back). As far as phone calls to admissions officers, honestly that doesn't happen anywhere near as much as people think, and when the calls are made, they're nowhere near as influential either. That said, phone calls can make a difference for wait-listed students. My personal take: do not pick Sidwell or any other school because you think your kid is going to waltz into whatever your fantasy school is for him/her. And, more fundamentally, stop obsessing about college -- there's so much more to life and parenting than that.

PP, assuming you do want your child to have the option of attending a top rank school, is Sidwell not the right place?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you think this is the dumbest thread ever, you probably haven't been on DCUM for long.

That said, in our family's experience the college application process at Sidwell plays out more subtly than it's portrayed here. We've had two kids graduate and I've never heard of a kid being flat-out told that s/he can't apply to a specific college. Instead, counselors will hint at how competitive the student's cohort is, and parents can either get that or not, or choose to back off or not. The counselors will write the school recommendation anyway, but, of course, it might not be as supportive as the family might like. OTOH, teacher recommendations can count for a lot more (I say this as a former admissions staffer from many years back). As far as phone calls to admissions officers, honestly that doesn't happen anywhere near as much as people think, and when the calls are made, they're nowhere near as influential either. That said, phone calls can make a difference for wait-listed students. My personal take: do not pick Sidwell or any other school because you think your kid is going to waltz into whatever your fantasy school is for him/her. And, more fundamentally, stop obsessing about college -- there's so much more to life and parenting than that.

PP, assuming you do want your child to have the option of attending a top rank school, is Sidwell not the right place?

Unlike other cities and states in the country - barring SF, Boston, NY - many, many, many kids in this area "want the option of attending a top rank school." Don't be ridiculous.

Sidwell will definitely reprogram your kid to want that no matter what. Will take strong personality, parenting, or life values to buck that mentality there and be happy with what life does hand you.

Being top 10% of any strong public or top private school around here will increase your odds. Add in major donor or super athlete or URM or quirky talent and you could be Top 25% and get into "top rank school."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you think this is the dumbest thread ever, you probably haven't been on DCUM for long.

That said, in our family's experience the college application process at Sidwell plays out more subtly than it's portrayed here. We've had two kids graduate and I've never heard of a kid being flat-out told that s/he can't apply to a specific college. Instead, counselors will hint at how competitive the student's cohort is, and parents can either get that or not, or choose to back off or not. The counselors will write the school recommendation anyway, but, of course, it might not be as supportive as the family might like. OTOH, teacher recommendations can count for a lot more (I say this as a former admissions staffer from many years back). As far as phone calls to admissions officers, honestly that doesn't happen anywhere near as much as people think, and when the calls are made, they're nowhere near as influential either. That said, phone calls can make a difference for wait-listed students. My personal take: do not pick Sidwell or any other school because you think your kid is going to waltz into whatever your fantasy school is for him/her. And, more fundamentally, stop obsessing about college -- there's so much more to life and parenting than that.

PP, assuming you do want your child to have the option of attending a top rank school, is Sidwell not the right place?

Unlike other cities and states in the country - barring SF, Boston, NY - many, many, many kids in this area "want the option of attending a top rank school." Don't be ridiculous.

Sidwell will definitely reprogram your kid to want that no matter what. Will take strong personality, parenting, or life values to buck that mentality there and be happy with what life does hand you.

Being top 10% of any strong public or top private school around here will increase your odds. Add in major donor or super athlete or URM or quirky talent and you could be Top 25% and get into "top rank school."

Totally agree with highlighted text -- SFS parent

[Anonymous]

Sfs parent here also. The pressures to get into a name college are widespread and not limited to one high school. Sfs actually encourages people to give the right fit in a college. It’s the parents (sfs and elsewhere) who have unrealistic expectations.

[Anonymous]

how the 9-12s handle this stress is different however. talk to grads and their parents at the top high schools.

[Anonymous]

If you know the difference, please share.

[Anonymous]

My kid fit with Salem. Good stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:yeah, this is true for every good private school. at my high school, in junior year we were shown graphs that plotted gpa and sat score and the result (admit, wl, decline) for everyone at my school who applied to every college for the previous 3 years. college counselors used those graphs to help guide kids as to which colleges we should apply to. there was an implication that you’d get more support in your application if the school agreed it made sense for you.

given that the school has longstanding relationships with deans of admission, it makes sense to heed the school’s advice.

It every single top college gives at least lip service to th idea that gaps and test scores are not determinative.

Oh, let’s try that again. But every single top college gives at least lip service to the idea that grades and test scores are not determinative,

you don't really believe that do you? It's not determinative for people like Jared Kushner and the $2M donation his father made (that the public knows about, there could be other donations too).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you think this is the dumbest thread ever, you probably haven't been on DCUM for long.

That said, in our family's experience the college application process at Sidwell plays out more subtly than it's portrayed here. We've had two kids graduate and I've never heard of a kid being flat-out told that s/he can't apply to a specific college. Instead, counselors will hint at how competitive the student's cohort is, and parents can either get that or not, or choose to back off or not. The counselors will write the school recommendation anyway, but, of course, it might not be as supportive as the family might like. OTOH, teacher recommendations can count for a lot more (I say this as a former admissions staffer from many years back). As far as phone calls to admissions officers, honestly that doesn't happen anywhere near as much as people think, and when the calls are made, they're nowhere near as influential either. That said, phone calls can make a difference for wait-listed students. My personal take: do not pick Sidwell or any other school because you think your kid is going to waltz into whatever your fantasy school is for him/her. And, more fundamentally, stop obsessing about college -- there's so much more to life and parenting than that.

Said by someone whose kids are at top 10 schools I bet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:yeah, this is true for every good private school. at my high school, in junior year we were shown graphs that plotted gpa and sat score and the result (admit, wl, decline) for everyone at my school who applied to every college for the previous 3 years. college counselors used those graphs to help guide kids as to which colleges we should apply to. there was an implication that you’d get more support in your application if the school agreed it made sense for you.

given that the school has longstanding relationships with deans of admission, it makes sense to heed the school’s advice.

It every single top college gives at least lip service to th idea that gaps and test scores are not determinative.

Oh, let’s try that again. But every single top college gives at least lip service to the idea that grades and test scores are not determinative,

you don't really believe that do you? It's not determinative for people like Jared Kushner and the $2M donation his father made (that the public knows about, there could be other donations too).

I do believe it, because as a HYP grad, I had classmates who were brilliant in one domain, but whose high school records were uneven.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:yeah, this is true for every good private school. at my high school, in junior year we were shown graphs that plotted gpa and sat score and the result (admit, wl, decline) for everyone at my school who applied to every college for the previous 3 years. college counselors used those graphs to help guide kids as to which colleges we should apply to. there was an implication that you’d get more support in your application if the school agreed it made sense for you.

given that the school has longstanding relationships with deans of admission, it makes sense to heed the school’s advice.

It every single top college gives at least lip service to th idea that gaps and test scores are not determinative.

Oh, let’s try that again. But every single top college gives at least lip service to the idea that grades and test scores are not determinative,

you don't really believe that do you? It's not determinative for people like Jared Kushner and the $2M donation his father made (that the public knows about, there could be other donations too).

I do believe it, because as a HYP grad, I had classmates who were brilliant in one domain, but whose high school records were uneven.

That was how long ago?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:yeah, this is true for every good private school. at my high school, in junior year we were shown graphs that plotted gpa and sat score and the result (admit, wl, decline) for everyone at my school who applied to every college for the previous 3 years. college counselors used those graphs to help guide kids as to which colleges we should apply to. there was an implication that you’d get more support in your application if the school agreed it made sense for you.

given that the school has longstanding relationships with deans of admission, it makes sense to heed the school’s advice.

It every single top college gives at least lip service to th idea that gaps and test scores are not determinative.

Oh, let’s try that again. But every single top college gives at least lip service to the idea that grades and test scores are not determinative,

you don't really believe that do you? It's not determinative for people like Jared Kushner and the $2M donation his father made (that the public knows about, there could be other donations too).

I do believe it, because as a HYP grad, I had classmates who were brilliant in one domain, but whose high school records were uneven.

That was how long ago?

I interview for one of HYP and it is definitely still the case at that school. They look for a well-rounded class--not (necessarily) a well-rounded student. It's a subtle but significant distinction. Every year there are kids who are picture-perfect on paper who I'm sure will get in who don't, and there are sometimes (although not as often) outliers with a couple of big strengths but other areas of weakness (and no evident hooks) who do.