Do rich people and their immense privilege bother you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:The only rich/wealthy people who annoy me are the ones who believe everyone could have what they have if they just "worked hard enough". That type of lack of nuanced thinking bothers me in anyone though.

What about the people that did make it themselves? Came from nothing, worked for it, and succeeded? Why can’t they feel that way, it worked for them, it can work for others.

Those are few and far in between. Basically the myth of rags-to-riches is dead because if you don't have superior upbringing and schooling in terms of access to the best schools, tutors, and connections the door to immense wealth is already closed. Bygone are the days of striking it out on your own and making something out of nothing.

And here come the excuses....

Plenty of people that grew up poor, and did not go to college make it. Most small business owners seem to have figured it out. You think every person that owns a restaurant/dry cleaner/car dealership/whatever grew up privileged?

Except working hard is no guarantee. Take Shaun King, the journalist in NYC. He is married, his wife works, he’s pretty well-known, has 4 jobs, and just tweeted that he can’t afford to buy a house where he lives (Brooklyn). If you didn’t get a pretty serious leg up, you can’t afford to truly accrue wealth (through property, the markets, etc) because you just aren’t starting from the same place as someone who inherited their riches. Or, even beyond ‘riches,’ someone who didn’t have to pay for college. Or who had parents who paid their car loans.

Thats nonsense. You can easily be among the top 5% of earners in the country, and not be able to afford a house in Brooklyn, because Brooklyn (and certainly the parts where a journalist would be willing to live) is incredibly expensive. Yes, its hard to accumulate wealth living in NYC (or any expensive metro area). But thats the trade-off for living somewhere that many people worldwide want to live. If he's that amazing I'm sure he could be successful in many low-cost parts of the country, and afford to buy a home in many wonderful neighborhoods. Is working hard going to mean you automatically get to be in the 1%, or even the top 50%? Of course not. But for most people in the United States, barring bad luck, working hard can get you out of poverty, and even a lower middle class lifestyle in the United States is fairly cushy. My BIL does not have a college degree and earns a living driving for Uber and private charter-types minibuses (no CDL). He has no family money. He is far from rich, but he is able to live a nice lifestyle in a desirable but low cost Southern city. He rents an apartment, owns a car, and can go out for beers on weekends at the neighborhood pub. He drives rich people around all the time, and I dont think he wastes one minute resenting them. Most of them are probably much less happy than he is.

[Anonymous]

No.

But I think a lot about how I will help others if I am ever rich.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. In high school I was friends with three girls named Allison, Stephanie and Heather.

Heather was beautiful and had the coolest clothes, everyone wanted to be friends with her, she was tough, her mom was pretty and cool, and had a gorgeous older boyfriend who sent her flowers at school. I became friends with Heather and found out that her father killed himself when she was a baby, when she tried to talk to her mom her mom ignored her for the mom's boyfriend, she felt stupid and her boyfriend was abusive.

Allison was very rich. She lived on the same street as Howard Stern, she had a housekeeper, she had a lovely life. Then one day Allison started crying in health when we were talking about eating disorders. She cried so hard the teacher excused her, and then excused me and another friend to go help her. Allison told us her mom had an eating disorder and she was scared her mom was going to die.

Stephanie was also very rich. She lived in the Hampton in a mansion. She had every single thing I ever even thought about wanting, let alone asked for. Stephanie's mom overdosed on cocaine and died. Stephanie's dad gave her mom the coke. Stephanie still lived with her dad.

My best friend in high school was Jen, who shared a room with her sister. Their older brother lived on the couch, and Jen's mom was a school custodian. Every single time I went over there, there was a lot of laughter and food. Once we had to go outside and help push Jen's mom's car down the block because it had died. I asked why they didn't just call AAA. They couldn't afford it.

So no, I'm not resentful of rich people getting expensive things. Objects don't mean everything. These people don't all have glamorous perfect lives just because we see them in pretty dresses smiling. I know that they might go home and get beaten or cry themselves to sleep because they're worried about a family member or missing a parent or whatever other problems are plaguing them. Beats headphones won't solve those problems.

These stories always annoy me because I think they grow out of our inner resentment of the rich, and the desire to prove that life MUST have screwed them up in other ways. Guess what? Money doesn't guarantee happiness but neither does poverty! Poor people abuse and neglect their children too. Poor people have disorders too. Poor people abuse drugs too. Rich people can have houses full of laughter and food too.

Money doesn't bring happiness, but it's better to be rich and unhappy than poor and unhappy. Stop equating poverty with virtue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most very rich people have done immoral things to become wealthy. I don't envy people like that. I have things that they don't.

- my wife loves me not my money
- I have had one wife
- I know who my true friends are and aren't
- my kids have a good work ethic, responsible and respect a dollar
- no one has ever tried to sue me
- no one hates me for screwing them over
- my customers are happy to see me
- I sleep well at night

I am rich in life.

There are rich people who have all this, and there are poor people who don't have this. Your lack of money is not the reason you have all this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I’m in the minority but I just don’t feel this way. I grew up poor, now make more money than I thought possible, and have always viewed the wealthy as people who have something I can learn. I’m not at all like the cynical pp who thinks that only the wealth can get/stay wealthy. Really rich people are an inspiration.

Me, too. It's interesting to me that most of the resentment being expressed here is from people who grew up UMC around generational wealth. I think it's because the UMC kids are entitled, themselves, and it makes them furious to find out that there are people who were given more. If you grow up poor, you realize that you're not entitled to anything. If you grew up UMC in New York, you're probably not going to know many people who moved up in life, because you're already so near the top. The "rich" people in my home town were poorer than the "middle class" people in DC. I know lots of people who are better off than their parents, because I know people who grew up poor or lower middle class. Yes, luck is part of it, but they all worked extremely hard, because they realized that they had no room for error, and no one was going to give them anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I’m in the minority but I just don’t feel this way. I grew up poor, now make more money than I thought possible, and have always viewed the wealthy as people who have something I can learn. I’m not at all like the cynical pp who thinks that only the wealth can get/stay wealthy. Really rich people are an inspiration.

Me, too. It's interesting to me that most of the resentment being expressed here is from people who grew up UMC around generational wealth. I think it's because the UMC kids are entitled, themselves, and it makes them furious to find out that there are people who were given more. If you grow up poor, you realize that you're not entitled to anything. If you grew up UMC in New York, you're probably not going to know many people who moved up in life, because you're already so near the top. The "rich" people in my home town were poorer than the "middle class" people in DC. I know lots of people who are better off than their parents, because I know people who grew up poor or lower middle class. Yes, luck is part of it, but they all worked extremely hard, because they realized that they had no room for error, and no one was going to give them anything.

I’m the pp you’re responding to. Good point! Growing up poor, EVERYONE had more than me. Only a few people had less. So I didn’t focus in on the rich as a target to hate. On the contrary, by high school I was hanging out with rich (not UMC- rich) kids from a few private schools. They had no problem showing me the ropes and they explained why I should have hope for my future. I don’t harbor any resentment at all- I am grateful. A lot of rich people are more than happy to help other people figure out how to get ahead.

[Anonymous]

Rich people and their privilege don't bother me until they start acting like everyone else doesn't deserve what they have, so they use their influence to enact laws and policies to undermine opportunity.

[Anonymous]

I am rich and my H and I made our money. Yes there was a lot of hard work involved but also a lot of luck.

Right time, right place. Only fools discount that.

[Anonymous]

No, I don’t care. Hollywood is a cesspool so they get a $100k worth of swag. I have my soul. I didn’t have to deal with men like Weinstein to make it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I learned that Oscan nominees will receive goody bags worth 100k tonight. I understand that they’re hard working and deserve their success and riches but I think 100k in gifts for already very wealthy individuals is so excessive.


I grew up middle class but my parents made a lot of sacrifices to send me to a private school with Uber rich kids. That was hard. Just seeing how easy life was for them and how privileged they were.

I don’t know why I feel almost...resentful? Even though of course it’s theirblife and they should enjoy it. It just bugged me how they were in a bubble and assumed their life was normal.

I knew a teacher that constantly ranted about the kids in his class had more things than he and his wife had. All I could think was damn, get another job. He called the kids snotty little rich monsters that deserved nothing. He deserved it all.

He's still teaching and probably still full of hate.

Don't envy. It's an ugly wasteful emotion.

I actually had a social studies do this way back in the 80's. Not to this degree, he certainly wasn't ranting or calling people names, but what started off as asking the class "What neighborhood do you live in" turned into "Must be nice, only rich people can afford to live in those neighborhoods. Teachers have to settle for living in (insert names of less wealthy neighborhoods)". It aggravated me at the time because I knew darned well that some of the teachers at the school actually did live in some of the "rich" neighborhoods. My own father was in engineering, my mom did office work, we had 4 kids in our family and we lived in a fairly modest neighborhood which had always been fine by me.

It had never even dawned on me to resent people for living in wealthy neighborhoods or having larger houses than I did. There were times that I would daydream about living in a mansion with a maid, butler, driver, etc. But I never resented other people for having those things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, I don’t care. Hollywood is a cesspool so they get a $100k worth of swag. I have my soul. I didn’t have to deal with men like Weinstein to make it.

They probably want to make sure that they all (especially the long shots) show up for the awards show. Ratings wouldn't be too great if only the likely winners showed up to these things.

[Anonymous]

"It had never even dawned on me to resent people for living in wealthy neighborhoods or having larger houses than I did."

+1

[Anonymous]

Rich snots entitled WASPs, yes they bother me.
Talented celebrities/artist, no. Thank and appreciate them for bringing beauty to the world. They can have all the goody bags and more.
Kim Kardasian, she is excepted. Bothers me. No talent.

[Anonymous]

I used to work with B list celebs (think, celeb chefs, lifestyle experts, Bravo channel types). I was in my 20s and 30s and amazed at their perks and always thought it was funny that they made so much money, and got so much free stuff. I would benefit from this by getting the things they didn't want - fancy pots and pans, teeth whitening, fancy restaurant gift certs, kitchen tours and comped meals when out with them etc. Tons of free food while at work, after hours, things to take home. I was making 70-80k, so I fully appreciated the perks, but also could support myself.

Now I'm in my 40s. Making under 60k as an educator and pretty financially dependent on dh. Maaaaybe once a year my school provides pizza or a free tee shirt.

The inequity in these 3 scenarios is laughable. It's not worth it to be angry...we all make choices and my life is pretty great. I just wish the gap was not so huge for all the people who work their asses off and still struggle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What bothers me is the gold digging women, whose main accomplishments in life are marrying a rich man and popping out 3 or 4 kids, acting like they are better than everyone else.

I know one of those...