Do rich people and their immense privilege bother you?

[Anonymous]

It really annoys me this week when all I want is a quick estimate on my damaged roof. And the insurance company tries to persuade you not to make a claim. But, if money is not a problem, just fix it and the wealthy person will just write a check. Actually, the wealthy person might just hire a lawyer to solve their problems easily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I’m in the minority but I just don’t feel this way. I grew up poor, now make more money than I thought possible, and have always viewed the wealthy as people who have something I can learn. I’m not at all like the cynical pp who thinks that only the wealth can get/stay wealthy. Really rich people are an inspiration.

Me, too. It's interesting to me that most of the resentment being expressed here is from people who grew up UMC around generational wealth. I think it's because the UMC kids are entitled, themselves, and it makes them furious to find out that there are people who were given more. If you grow up poor, you realize that you're not entitled to anything. If you grew up UMC in New York, you're probably not going to know many people who moved up in life, because you're already so near the top. The "rich" people in my home town were poorer than the "middle class" people in DC. I know lots of people who are better off than their parents, because I know people who grew up poor or lower middle class. Yes, luck is part of it, but they all worked extremely hard, because they realized that they had no room for error, and no one was going to give them anything.

+1

I hope I know you IRL. You get it.

Plus 1000 I grew up with no safety net financially or emotionally. I had to keep a certain gpa for my scholarship, if I didn’t have that I would not have many other options. I worked from the time I could and I absolutely sought to create financial stability for myself and my kids. I don’t envy others, and I don’t flaunt what we have but I make darn sure my kids understand our backgrounds and sacrifices. Now, to be fair, I was born with some advantages, white, reasonably smart, reasonably good looking, extroverted personality, athletic. My parents dysfunction and poverty was tough but I made it out through hard work and definitely some luck. On the flip side, I’ve battled depression, anxiety and an addictive personality my whole life- that was also part of the gene pool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. In high school I was friends with three girls named Allison, Stephanie and Heather.

Heather was beautiful and had the coolest clothes, everyone wanted to be friends with her, she was tough, her mom was pretty and cool, and had a gorgeous older boyfriend who sent her flowers at school. I became friends with Heather and found out that her father killed himself when she was a baby, when she tried to talk to her mom her mom ignored her for the mom's boyfriend, she felt stupid and her boyfriend was abusive.

Allison was very rich. She lived on the same street as Howard Stern, she had a housekeeper, she had a lovely life. Then one day Allison started crying in health when we were talking about eating disorders. She cried so hard the teacher excused her, and then excused me and another friend to go help her. Allison told us her mom had an eating disorder and she was scared her mom was going to die.

Stephanie was also very rich. She lived in the Hampton in a mansion. She had every single thing I ever even thought about wanting, let alone asked for. Stephanie's mom overdosed on cocaine and died. Stephanie's dad gave her mom the coke. Stephanie still lived with her dad.

My best friend in high school was Jen, who shared a room with her sister. Their older brother lived on the couch, and Jen's mom was a school custodian. Every single time I went over there, there was a lot of laughter and food. Once we had to go outside and help push Jen's mom's car down the block because it had died. I asked why they didn't just call AAA. They couldn't afford it.

So no, I'm not resentful of rich people getting expensive things. Objects don't mean everything. These people don't all have glamorous perfect lives just because we see them in pretty dresses smiling. I know that they might go home and get beaten or cry themselves to sleep because they're worried about a family member or missing a parent or whatever other problems are plaguing them. Beats headphones won't solve those problems.

Poor and middle class people also deal with dysfunctional families, abuse, eating disorders, drug problems, etc. The only difference is that wealthy people have more resources to deal with their problem (i.e. therapy, rehab, etc). And if they screw up as a result of their problems, it has less of an impact on their lives.

+1 I really hate this "oh rich people have miserable lives behind closed doors" trope that some people love to trot out. It's almost as bad as the "the popular kids in high school all became diner waitresses who never left their hometown."

[Anonymous]

Not at all. I truly believe the grass isn't greener on the other side. Everyone has their issues at some point in their lives. I'm also aware that money is meaningless if you don't have good health. Having more money doesn't mean you'll have more happiness. As long as one can live in good health and be financially comfortable- pay the bills, have the essentials and a little extra, all is good. I have this and don't resent those who have more $.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not at all. I truly believe the grass isn't greener on the other side. Everyone has their issues at some point in their lives. I'm also aware that money is meaningless if you don't have good health. Having more money doesn't mean you'll have more happiness. As long as one can live in good health and be financially comfortable- pay the bills, have the essentials and a little extra, all is good. I have this and don't resent those who have more $.

But having money can sometimes give you better health, certainly better medical care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. In high school I was friends with three girls named Allison, Stephanie and Heather.

Heather was beautiful and had the coolest clothes, everyone wanted to be friends with her, she was tough, her mom was pretty and cool, and had a gorgeous older boyfriend who sent her flowers at school. I became friends with Heather and found out that her father killed himself when she was a baby, when she tried to talk to her mom her mom ignored her for the mom's boyfriend, she felt stupid and her boyfriend was abusive.

Allison was very rich. She lived on the same street as Howard Stern, she had a housekeeper, she had a lovely life. Then one day Allison started crying in health when we were talking about eating disorders. She cried so hard the teacher excused her, and then excused me and another friend to go help her. Allison told us her mom had an eating disorder and she was scared her mom was going to die.

Stephanie was also very rich. She lived in the Hampton in a mansion. She had every single thing I ever even thought about wanting, let alone asked for. Stephanie's mom overdosed on cocaine and died. Stephanie's dad gave her mom the coke. Stephanie still lived with her dad.

My best friend in high school was Jen, who shared a room with her sister. Their older brother lived on the couch, and Jen's mom was a school custodian. Every single time I went over there, there was a lot of laughter and food. Once we had to go outside and help push Jen's mom's car down the block because it had died. I asked why they didn't just call AAA. They couldn't afford it.

So no, I'm not resentful of rich people getting expensive things. Objects don't mean everything. These people don't all have glamorous perfect lives just because we see them in pretty dresses smiling. I know that they might go home and get beaten or cry themselves to sleep because they're worried about a family member or missing a parent or whatever other problems are plaguing them. Beats headphones won't solve those problems.

Poor and middle class people also deal with dysfunctional families, abuse, eating disorders, drug problems, etc. The only difference is that wealthy people have more resources to deal with their problem (i.e. therapy, rehab, etc). And if they screw up as a result of their problems, it has less of an impact on their lives.

+1 I really hate this "oh rich people have miserable lives behind closed doors" trope that some people love to trot out. It's almost as bad as the "the popular kids in high school all became diner waitresses who never left their hometown."

I think it may be comforting for some people to think this is the case. Because, let’s face it, more than a few rich people are selfish, arrogant, out of touch, and absolutely hateable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I hear that ancient phrase “he was born on third base and thinks he hit a triple” I think I’ll scream. It’s no more clever now that it was 50 years ago.

Like the expression or not, it is so true.

[Anonymous]

Yes. I have immensely rich relatives who are totally racist, classist and think they earned everything they have (they didn't, they got a windfall when the company he worked for sold out). I'm also well acquainted with a major oil family. They have the same attitudes yet expect others to constantly be grateful for their "philanthropy." Fourteen of their company executives were found guilty or pled guilty to fraud, yet the family got off scot free.

[Anonymous]

I was engaged to the son of one of the 20 richest families in America and spent several years visiting their homes and traveling with them. I'd like to have some of those privileges but it didn't make them happy. The parents still died of Alzheimers.
They had a pretty good attitude about their wealth and did not come across as entitled or hateful about "the poors." I probably qualified, in their view.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only rich/wealthy people who annoy me are the ones who believe everyone could have what they have if they just "worked hard enough". That type of lack of nuanced thinking bothers me in anyone though.

THIS +the ones who are trust fund kids who've never had to work for it but then look down on people who don't have the same comforts. "What? You clean your own house!" Quelle Horreur!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not at all. I truly believe the grass isn't greener on the other side. Everyone has their issues at some point in their lives. I'm also aware that money is meaningless if you don't have good health. Having more money doesn't mean you'll have more happiness. As long as one can live in good health and be financially comfortable- pay the bills, have the essentials and a little extra, all is good. I have this and don't resent those who have more $.

But having money can sometimes give you better health, certainly better medical care.

Didnt work for Steve Jobs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was engaged to the son of one of the 20 richest families in America and spent several years visiting their homes and traveling with them. I'd like to have some of those privileges but it didn't make them happy. The parents still died of Alzheimers.
They had a pretty good attitude about their wealth and did not come across as entitled or hateful about "the poors." I probably qualified, in their view.

PP, if you don't mind sharing, what happened next? He dumped you for a Rothschild heiress?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. In high school I was friends with three girls named Allison, Stephanie and Heather.

Heather was beautiful and had the coolest clothes, everyone wanted to be friends with her, she was tough, her mom was pretty and cool, and had a gorgeous older boyfriend who sent her flowers at school. I became friends with Heather and found out that her father killed himself when she was a baby, when she tried to talk to her mom her mom ignored her for the mom's boyfriend, she felt stupid and her boyfriend was abusive.

Allison was very rich. She lived on the same street as Howard Stern, she had a housekeeper, she had a lovely life. Then one day Allison started crying in health when we were talking about eating disorders. She cried so hard the teacher excused her, and then excused me and another friend to go help her. Allison told us her mom had an eating disorder and she was scared her mom was going to die.

Stephanie was also very rich. She lived in the Hampton in a mansion. She had every single thing I ever even thought about wanting, let alone asked for. Stephanie's mom overdosed on cocaine and died. Stephanie's dad gave her mom the coke. Stephanie still lived with her dad.

My best friend in high school was Jen, who shared a room with her sister. Their older brother lived on the couch, and Jen's mom was a school custodian. Every single time I went over there, there was a lot of laughter and food. Once we had to go outside and help push Jen's mom's car down the block because it had died. I asked why they didn't just call AAA. They couldn't afford it.

So no, I'm not resentful of rich people getting expensive things. Objects don't mean everything. These people don't all have glamorous perfect lives just because we see them in pretty dresses smiling. I know that they might go home and get beaten or cry themselves to sleep because they're worried about a family member or missing a parent or whatever other problems are plaguing them. Beats headphones won't solve those problems.

Poor and middle class people also deal with dysfunctional families, abuse, eating disorders, drug problems, etc. The only difference is that wealthy people have more resources to deal with their problem (i.e. therapy, rehab, etc). And if they screw up as a result of their problems, it has less of an impact on their lives.

+1 I really hate this "oh rich people have miserable lives behind closed doors" trope that some people love to trot out. It's almost as bad as the "the popular kids in high school all became diner waitresses who never left their hometown."

I think it may be comforting for some people to think this is the case. Because, let’s face it, more than a few rich people are selfish, arrogant, out of touch, and absolutely hateable.

Have you ever volunteered as a teacher in poor neighborhoods? Have you ever spent years working to help people in one of the world’s poorest countries? A lot of poor people are selfish, arrogant, out of touch and absolutely hateable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was engaged to the son of one of the 20 richest families in America and spent several years visiting their homes and traveling with them. I'd like to have some of those privileges but it didn't make them happy. The parents still died of Alzheimers.
They had a pretty good attitude about their wealth and did not come across as entitled or hateful about "the poors." I probably qualified, in their view.

A lot of the attitude, appreciation and zest for life depends on how they acquired their wealth and what geographic region they were raised in. Some people could not be humble if their life depended on it, and see life as purely an a-hole contest. Sucks to be them.

[Anonymous]

Anyone who uses the term "privilege" in this sense is foolish, lazy or both. Privilege is "a special right, advantage, or immunity granted or available only to a particular person or group of people". Wealth is not granted; wealth is earned, whether by the current generation or a previous one, and in no sense is it available only to a particular person or group of people.

The richest man in the world was born to a teenage high school student, who then married a Cuban immigrant who arrived alone in the United States when he was fifteen years old. (Thanks Wikipedia.)