anyone receive family money for a down payment on house?

[Anonymous]

Uh no. For my mom it would be more like the Mastercard commercial with the announcer saying "Good advice .... priceless". She gave me a strong push with home ownership and that first home that I purchased with an FHA loan pre-boom was the only reason I could afford the single family home in Bethesda during the heyday of the boom. Funny enough the person that purchased my first place was a mom buying it for her daughter in an all-cash deal as an investment of some sort. I looked at my husband and was like not only was there no college fund, or car fund, there was most definitely no house fund from the parents. My parents never had that kind of money and my mom was not the type to mortgage the house, liquidate the retirement etc. to pay for college, a wedding, a house fund etc. she believed she moved to good school districts and made sure we had the opportunity to get a good education and from there it was up to you to get scholarships, work hard, find a job etc. to afford the lifestyle you wanted. She would go with you to the car dealership and help you negotiate, give you the 411 on buying a house, she tried to get me to buy an investment property long ago that probably would have been a good investment but I was in my early 20's and wasn't willing to take on that risk, would give you the in-and-outs of insurance if you asked but you were the one paying for it. DH situation was different - he had 10K from his grandmother - but didn't need to use it - his parents like to joke that he married into property. His parents that are in a better financial situation did fund college for DH so he didn't have loans but cars, homes, kids college funds etc. are his responsibility.

I do think if I am in a position to help out that I would like to be able to give our daughters some money towards a downpayment - something in the land of 10K. I would also like to be able to cover college tuition at a state university. Apart from that it will be up to them.

[Anonymous]

Not a dime, but if they had offered, I wouldn't have accepted anyway. My parents never had a lot of money and were in their early 30s when they moved to this country. They worked their butts off to pay for a house in a good school district and to send all of their kids to undergrad. To them, a good education was the most important gift they could give us. I just think it would almost be shameful to accept monetary help from them especially since they've already done so much to create opportunities for us.

[Anonymous]

Before Clarendon became "Clarendon" and I was single, my dad gave me $6,584 (I still have the paperwork) to help towards the down-payment of my fixer-upper - known as "the crack-house" by the neighbors - which I bought for $169K. 7 years later I sold it for around $550K and was able to pay off ALL of my law school loans, repay dad and put a hefty down payment on a new house with hubby. Thanks dad!

[Anonymous]

We got $5,000 from my parents and $5,000 from my in-laws and purchased a modest townhome, with a monthly mortgage payment we can easily afford. I don't feel guilt about taking money from them, I'm really grateful they gave it to us. Besides, when they are older and need help we will be there for them. We're family and we help each other out, financially and with our time.

[Anonymous]

Yes - my husband's family does fine, but doesn't have a ton of extra money to give away. One of his rather distant relatives died and left a bunch of the family members money. The family was shocked - he was very, very frugal and they had no idea he was so well off. It was enough for a 10% down payment on a house for us.

My family does have money, and my parents gave us the other 10%. It helped a lot. Other than that, I know my parents have established a nice trust for my child to pay for education down the road, but we don't get any other major help from them. My mom and I may go shopping a couple of times a year and I may get an outfit or a couple of tops for work that she buys for me, and both sets of parents bought us the big ticket items for the nursery when I was pregnant (dresser, crib, changing table). I hope we can do the same for my kids.

I often wonder how many people around here have had some sort of help. It's just expensive and so many people have school debt, etc. My parents would help us more if we let them. A lot of their friends had kids who stayed in my hometown and let their parents by them gi-normous mansions, and they are paying for private schools, etc.

[Anonymous]

My husband and I were both very fortunate to go to grad school on full tuition scholarships and get well-paying jobs as soon as we graduated. With no education debt, we were able to buy our first home at age 24 with 5% down for $169k (in 2001). We sold that house last year and were able to buy a much larger home with 20% down, still with no help from our parents.

If we'd needed the money, I do think my parents would have offered, as I think they helped my sister buy her first condo a few years ago, but there's no way my husband would have taken the money.

[Anonymous]

wow, can't believe how many people had help.

we got 0 from our parents

Lucky for us that mortage standards were looser when we bought and we could put very little down. Luckily we can afford our mortgage just fine and aren't going anywhere so I don't care that we are currently upside down.

[Anonymous]

No help, not for undergrad or for housing. DH and I bought our first house ($200K) at 25 and 28 with our own savings as a downpayment. Having to make our own way was good for us. We're now in a much better financial place than any of our parents, and it brings up hard questions about whether and how much to smooth the path for our kids.

[Anonymous]

My parents paid for college and grad school for all 3 of us children, assisted with down payments on our first homes, and set up college funds for our kids. They never bought us cars or expensive items, but they took education very seriously. Because I had no school loans, I was able to take lower paying but more satisfying jobs for many years (until I decided it was time to earn more). We are all grateful for what my parents did for us, and I fully intend to pay for my kids' college education and help them with a down payment if I can (yet another reason why I work). It didn't make us spoiled or ungrateful; to the contrary, we are very appreciative of their generosity.