anyone receive family money for a down payment on house?

[Anonymous]

Wow, we rent too. Put myself through law school and work at a govt job. Also envious, if it was offered I sure wouldn't turn it down, but like a PP we are probably going to be the ones helping our folks.

[Anonymous]

I too, wonder about people who are able to buy single family homes in my zip code in their early 30s.

I was responsible for paying for undergrad, and both my masters. My "brain mortgage" is pretty steep, as is my husband's. We still live in his bachelor condo with our toddler, as we aren't able to purchase a home yet. We are both in our late 30's.

We manage our money well, have decent jobs, but with furloughs, loss of bonuses, and no merit increases, we are pretty much stuck where we are.

My parents inherited a ton of money from their parents. They haven't offered to help us at all, or share the family wealth. Sometimes I get upset about it, because a little bit of seed money would help out a lot. I am glad that I put myself through school, but not being saddled with this debt twenty years later would be nice.

I have to force myself not to be upset when my mother repeatedly tells me to have another child. "People find a way," she says. Yes, people who have family that offer resources if available, and not just pressure. Or comments like, "at least the children could come to my house for vacation, where there is ample space to play."

Okay, this turned into a rant. Apologies. I think I have some issues.

[Anonymous]

PP, it is not that unusual for some wealthy people to be very very stingy with money when it comes to kids.
People always assume it is the poorer people who have to pay their own way thru college and houses etc etc.
You are not alone
Truth is, some parents save a lifetime to send kids to college, some never save, some do give a cent even though they could easily afford to do so.

[Anonymous]

Not a dime. My dad passed away in my early 20's. My mother remarried and they are very wealthy due to my mother's business. It is not that we would take it but an offer would be nice. They sure do not mind providing houses/cars/etc for my mom's husbands kids. GO figure!

My sister asked to borrow closing costs and was told no. She even had a payment plan worked out and the answer was no. I felt badly for her. We let her borrow it. All is paid back.

[Anonymous]

I come from a very blue collar working family with a single mom and definitely won't be getting any money for a house whatsoever (nor did I for a car, for college, for my upcoming wedding etc)

However my fiancee has received 10k from his mother for the past two years at Christmas, to be put towards a house. Very different family...she's really pressuring us to buy but we are in our early 20s (!) and I don't really want to buy anytime soon, not ready for that.

[Anonymous]

We had about 5% for a down payment on our own. In-laws lent us the remaining 15% so we only needed to get an 80% loan, which got us a much better interest rate from the bank. We do pay in-laws back each month - with interest (5-year CD interest rate)

In-laws and DH were obsessed with us not getting a formal "second mortgage." I didn't really understand why - 2nd mortgage interest is deductable, in-laws interest is not.

It was a nice guesture, but I don't think it really helped that much.

[Anonymous]

i'm a single mom. my parents gave me $50,000 for a down payment on a house. i didn't expect it. i later found out that they cashed out a retirement account to do it. i feel very guilty about that, but i know it made my dad (who has since passed away) very happy for me to have a house and he was thrilled to do it. they paid for college although i worked to cover my living expenses. i paid for grad school but my dad would send me occasional checks to help pay down my school loans. he also sent me $5000 towards my first car at one point.

i know they gave me what they could and i very much appreciated it. i hope to do that for my son too.

[Anonymous]

I just shared this thread with my best friend. She said her dad gave her 100k for a house when she got married at 35. Apparently, that is "what is done."

We grew up together, shared our lives together. I had no idea. . .

[Anonymous]

yes, 100k for downpayment on a 600k condo in NOVA

[Anonymous]

No. We bought in the height of the boom and put 20% down, so it is a bit depressing. I hope that makes people who are renting feel better!

[Anonymous]

No cash, but DH and I bought a fixer-upper and my dad is a retired home builder. He lived with us for the first few months doing an amazing amount of rehab work on our house. We never could have done it without him. He's done several major projects for us in the years since then.

[Anonymous]

DH 's parents gave him 100k to buy his first home and paid for college and grad school. My parents helped with closing costs on my first condo (I think it was 6k). I offered to pay it back when I sold it last year but they refused and had me put it in an account for DD. They covered undergrad for me but grad school was all me. My grad school loan payments are more than our mortgage !!

[Anonymous]

I did not go to college and have no college debt. DH paid his way through Mason and lived at home and graduated with no debt. We saved over 100K to buy our first home in our late 20s. We also paid for our own wedding. My family does not have it to give and my husband would roll over dead before asking for money from his family. We just took advantage of the down market and bought a vacation home with once again a hefty down payment using our own saved money.

I personally think NOT having that family cushion makes us good money managers. When the only safety net you have is the one you create yourself, I think you make much differnt decisions than if you knew in the back of your head that no one would let you and your children starve.

[Anonymous]

We bought our first home a few months before our wedding. At one point my father offered to give us whatever he was spending on the wedding to help with purchasing the house. His initial 'budget' for the wedding was $45K so, I thanked him profusely, and said I still wanted the wedding, that we'd do the house on our own. Fast forward several months and he ended up spending over $150K on our wedding. If I'd known that, I think I would have taken the $ for the house. Having said all that, I loved my wedding, and we love our house. Since moving in, my father has paid for a major remodel as a house warming gift, and has bought several major pieces of furniture as gifts.

[Anonymous]

Uh, no. Which is why we live in Silver Spring instead of Bethesda. We bought with 100% financing five years ago. Best decision we ever made, and although we could afford to move to Bethesda now, we won't. Love it here in the "low rent" district!