What kinds of fights lead to divorce?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like the PP I made a really bad choice. My ex charmed me into marrying him, but he was a total fraud. A drunk, a drug addict, a serial cheater and a liar with a horrible temper. I didn't figure all this out for years when we already had a kid. He was a bad person and I'm really sad he's my daughter's father.

You sure aren't very observant or a good judge of people if you didn't notice those things before you let him breed with you.

She probably believed what she wanted to believe because she was desperate to marry and have a kid.
You have that now PP. Own up to your choices and hope he dies young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He was cheating. Chronically. He was emotionally abusive.

This. And financially abusive. I picked wrong.

"financially abusive" what is that?

Haven't you heard? These days, anything a man does that a woman doesn't like gets labeled as some kind of abuse.

You get angry and raise your voice? That's verbal abuse
Try to ignore it and not say anything? That's emotional abuse
Spend your money in a way she doesn't agree? That's financial abuse
Ask her for sex more often than she wants it? That's sexual abuse
Try to get physical anyway? Of course, that's physical abuse. Also sexual abuse.
Likewise, don't give it to her as often as she wants. That's sexual deprivation...abuse
Call her out on her crazy? That's mental abuse..oh and, Gaslighting, but that's another thread
Tracking her social media because you don't trust her? That's...wait for it...I swear this is real... Technological abuse
Sending her text messages, expecting a response but getting nothing? That's Cyber abuse
Harassing her about an actual affair when you catch her? That's Psychological abuse
Telling her you wish she would eat healthy and maybe lose a few? Fat shaming, emotional abuse
Belittling her academic focus or worthless degree? That's academic abuse
Not being nice to her in public if, for example, she is drunk and flirting with other men? That's Social abuse
Driving too fast with her in the car? That's Environmental abuse, or maybe, Vehicular abuse if it's her car.

I could probably write 50 more, but you get the idea. Feel free to add to the list if you like. Remember, every interaction with a man that a woman finds unpleasant these days is surely some kind of abuse.

Um, no, this is not how things work. Most people get along ok and the men are not all accused of abuse. Try being less of an asshole though, ok? Your life might go better for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He was cheating. Chronically. He was emotionally abusive.

This. And financially abusive. I picked wrong.

"financially abusive" what is that?

Haven't you heard? These days, anything a man does that a woman doesn't like gets labeled as some kind of abuse.

You get angry and raise your voice? That's verbal abuse
Try to ignore it and not say anything? That's emotional abuse
Spend your money in a way she doesn't agree? That's financial abuse
Ask her for sex more often than she wants it? That's sexual abuse
Try to get physical anyway? Of course, that's physical abuse. Also sexual abuse.
Likewise, don't give it to her as often as she wants. That's sexual deprivation...abuse
Call her out on her crazy? That's mental abuse..oh and, Gaslighting, but that's another thread
Tracking her social media because you don't trust her? That's...wait for it...I swear this is real... Technological abuse
Sending her text messages, expecting a response but getting nothing? That's Cyber abuse
Harassing her about an actual affair when you catch her? That's Psychological abuse
Telling her you wish she would eat healthy and maybe lose a few? Fat shaming, emotional abuse
Belittling her academic focus or worthless degree? That's academic abuse
Not being nice to her in public if, for example, she is drunk and flirting with other men? That's Social abuse
Driving too fast with her in the car? That's Environmental abuse, or maybe, Vehicular abuse if it's her car.

I could probably write 50 more, but you get the idea. Feel free to add to the list if you like. Remember, every interaction with a man that a woman finds unpleasant these days is surely some kind of abuse.

New to this thread. I hope you are getting help, or at least have someone to talk with in real life.

Not new, and PP is totally correct. Every little thing is “abuse” anymore. I can’t even take most of it seriously. Oh, and I’m a woman.

Do you live in a trailer park?? Things are different outside ‘the park’ - escaping should be a life goal, ok?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He was cheating. Chronically. He was emotionally abusive.

This. And financially abusive. I picked wrong.

"financially abusive" what is that?

Haven't you heard? These days, anything a man does that a woman doesn't like gets labeled as some kind of abuse.

You get angry and raise your voice? That's verbal abuse
Try to ignore it and not say anything? That's emotional abuse
Spend your money in a way she doesn't agree? That's financial abuse
Ask her for sex more often than she wants it? That's sexual abuse
Try to get physical anyway? Of course, that's physical abuse. Also sexual abuse.
Likewise, don't give it to her as often as she wants. That's sexual deprivation...abuse
Call her out on her crazy? That's mental abuse..oh and, Gaslighting, but that's another thread
Tracking her social media because you don't trust her? That's...wait for it...I swear this is real... Technological abuse
Sending her text messages, expecting a response but getting nothing? That's Cyber abuse
Harassing her about an actual affair when you catch her? That's Psychological abuse
Telling her you wish she would eat healthy and maybe lose a few? Fat shaming, emotional abuse
Belittling her academic focus or worthless degree? That's academic abuse
Not being nice to her in public if, for example, she is drunk and flirting with other men? That's Social abuse
Driving too fast with her in the car? That's Environmental abuse, or maybe, Vehicular abuse if it's her car.

I could probably write 50 more, but you get the idea. Feel free to add to the list if you like. Remember, every interaction with a man that a woman finds unpleasant these days is surely some kind of abuse.

New to this thread. I hope you are getting help, or at least have someone to talk with in real life.

Not new, and PP is totally correct. Every little thing is “abuse” anymore. I can’t even take most of it seriously. Oh, and I’m a woman.

Do you live in a trailer park?? Things are different outside ‘the park’ - escaping should be a life goal, ok?

DP. I agree with PP. The word abuse is used way too easy. It's the same with hurting kids' feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He was cheating. Chronically. He was emotionally abusive.

This. And financially abusive. I picked wrong.

"financially abusive" what is that?

Haven't you heard? These days, anything a man does that a woman doesn't like gets labeled as some kind of abuse.

You get angry and raise your voice? That's verbal abuse
Try to ignore it and not say anything? That's emotional abuse
Spend your money in a way she doesn't agree? That's financial abuse
Ask her for sex more often than she wants it? That's sexual abuse
Try to get physical anyway? Of course, that's physical abuse. Also sexual abuse.
Likewise, don't give it to her as often as she wants. That's sexual deprivation...abuse
Call her out on her crazy? That's mental abuse..oh and, Gaslighting, but that's another thread
Tracking her social media because you don't trust her? That's...wait for it...I swear this is real... Technological abuse
Sending her text messages, expecting a response but getting nothing? That's Cyber abuse
Harassing her about an actual affair when you catch her? That's Psychological abuse
Telling her you wish she would eat healthy and maybe lose a few? Fat shaming, emotional abuse
Belittling her academic focus or worthless degree? That's academic abuse
Not being nice to her in public if, for example, she is drunk and flirting with other men? That's Social abuse
Driving too fast with her in the car? That's Environmental abuse, or maybe, Vehicular abuse if it's her car.

I could probably write 50 more, but you get the idea. Feel free to add to the list if you like. Remember, every interaction with a man that a woman finds unpleasant these days is surely some kind of abuse.

New to this thread. I hope you are getting help, or at least have someone to talk with in real life.

Not new, and PP is totally correct. Every little thing is “abuse” anymore. I can’t even take most of it seriously. Oh, and I’m a woman.

Do you live in a trailer park?? Things are different outside ‘the park’ - escaping should be a life goal, ok?

Not at all. I’m a highly educated, married professional. You may not live in a trailer park, but your low class is showing, as you have to resort to some form of insults to make a point...which, I’m not even sure what your point is, because your response added nothing of value to the discussion.

[Anonymous]

what kind of fights?

The one where one play gets instantly defensive--is unable to take responsibility or to apologize, and shifts blame. Every Single Time.
Juvenile.
And the underlying issue never gets addressed. The player is too comfortable changing the subject, escalating things into fights, and blaming others for asking questions than to solve the actual problem.
Learned behavior from childhood. Highly linked to untreated ADD, getting defense, lying and covering up mistakes caused by being inattentive, unable to get it together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:what kind of fights?

The one where one play gets instantly defensive--is unable to take responsibility or to apologize, and shifts blame. Every Single Time.
Juvenile.
And the underlying issue never gets addressed. The player is too comfortable changing the subject, escalating things into fights, and blaming others for asking questions than to solve the actual problem.
Learned behavior from childhood. Highly linked to untreated ADD, getting defense, lying and covering up mistakes caused by being inattentive, unable to get it together.

clearly a woman posting this. How about you take some responsibility for your faults (sounds like you enjoy pathologizing your DH's everyday faults, which I'm sure he loves) and then you might find that he magically will take some responsibility for his.

[Anonymous]

Years of emotional abuse and drug use.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:what kind of fights?

The one where one play gets instantly defensive--is unable to take responsibility or to apologize, and shifts blame. Every Single Time.
Juvenile.
And the underlying issue never gets addressed. The player is too comfortable changing the subject, escalating things into fights, and blaming others for asking questions than to solve the actual problem.
Learned behavior from childhood. Highly linked to untreated ADD, getting defense, lying and covering up mistakes caused by being inattentive, unable to get it together.

Or, it could be from your rampant cheating.

[Anonymous]

The fights that just repeat and repeat and repeat with zero conflict resolution. Those lead to divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He was cheating. Chronically. He was emotionally abusive.

This. And financially abusive. I picked wrong.

"financially abusive" what is that?

Haven't you heard? These days, anything a man does that a woman doesn't like gets labeled as some kind of abuse.

You get angry and raise your voice? That's verbal abuse
Try to ignore it and not say anything? That's emotional abuse
Spend your money in a way she doesn't agree? That's financial abuse
Ask her for sex more often than she wants it? That's sexual abuse
Try to get physical anyway? Of course, that's physical abuse. Also sexual abuse.
Likewise, don't give it to her as often as she wants. That's sexual deprivation...abuse
Call her out on her crazy? That's mental abuse..oh and, Gaslighting, but that's another thread
Tracking her social media because you don't trust her? That's...wait for it...I swear this is real... Technological abuse
Sending her text messages, expecting a response but getting nothing? That's Cyber abuse
Harassing her about an actual affair when you catch her? That's Psychological abuse
Telling her you wish she would eat healthy and maybe lose a few? Fat shaming, emotional abuse
Belittling her academic focus or worthless degree? That's academic abuse
Not being nice to her in public if, for example, she is drunk and flirting with other men? That's Social abuse
Driving too fast with her in the car? That's Environmental abuse, or maybe, Vehicular abuse if it's her car.

I could probably write 50 more, but you get the idea. Feel free to add to the list if you like. Remember, every interaction with a man that a woman finds unpleasant these days is surely some kind of abuse.

OMG, are you me? This is almost word for word my STBXW and her antics. Women are insane.

I'm glad you enjoyed it. Labeling everything as abuse is a disservice to women who aren't this way while trivializing actual abuse of the serious kind which of course does occur. I'm sure just as many women as men see how crazy this has become.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He was cheating. Chronically. He was emotionally abusive.

This. And financially abusive. I picked wrong.

"financially abusive" what is that?

Haven't you heard? These days, anything a man does that a woman doesn't like gets labeled as some kind of abuse.

You get angry and raise your voice? That's verbal abuse
Try to ignore it and not say anything? That's emotional abuse
Spend your money in a way she doesn't agree? That's financial abuse
Ask her for sex more often than she wants it? That's sexual abuse
Try to get physical anyway? Of course, that's physical abuse. Also sexual abuse.
Likewise, don't give it to her as often as she wants. That's sexual deprivation...abuse
Call her out on her crazy? That's mental abuse..oh and, Gaslighting, but that's another thread
Tracking her social media because you don't trust her? That's...wait for it...I swear this is real... Technological abuse
Sending her text messages, expecting a response but getting nothing? That's Cyber abuse
Harassing her about an actual affair when you catch her? That's Psychological abuse
Telling her you wish she would eat healthy and maybe lose a few? Fat shaming, emotional abuse
Belittling her academic focus or worthless degree? That's academic abuse
Not being nice to her in public if, for example, she is drunk and flirting with other men? That's Social abuse
Driving too fast with her in the car? That's Environmental abuse, or maybe, Vehicular abuse if it's her car.

I could probably write 50 more, but you get the idea. Feel free to add to the list if you like. Remember, every interaction with a man that a woman finds unpleasant these days is surely some kind of abuse.

Um, no, this is not how things work. Most people get along ok and the men are not all accused of abuse. Try being less of an asshole though, ok? Your life might go better for you.

I'm proud to be called an asshole by you, but now I feel truly abused and triggered. I don't have to read any further than this forum and for just the past 6 months or so to come up with examples of every one of those "abuses" I listed. Maybe most people get along, but this is also a real thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[
DP. I agree with PP. The word abuse is used way too easy. It's the same with hurting kids' feelings.

Yes, raising the future generation of adults who feel like no one should make them feel bad about anything, ever, or that's abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He was cheating. Chronically. He was emotionally abusive.

This. And financially abusive. I picked wrong.

She wanted to spend all the money and he wouldn't let her.

There’s a good example of financial abuse in another recent thread. It starts with the woman upset that she has to pay her DHs cell phone bill. Then it turns out finances are separate and he makes her pay half the mortgage/utilities and all the kid stuff. She works part time and is the primary caregiver to their 3 kids. He works full time. She’s counting pennies while he has all the disposable income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ex and I divorced because we were going to kill each other if we stayed together. It was a very unhealthy dynamic and we couldn't stop.

That's me. How did you get out?