Charging guests to attend parties? Is that a thing?
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Anonymous
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I attended a baby shower where the mother selected the pricey restaurant. When we arrived she loudly informed us it was "non-hosted". We ended up splitting the cost of the meal with her in laws, who drank three bottles of wine, ordered and did not share expensive appetizers, and desserts. During the meal they shared photos of their private plane and multiple homes in Spain and London (they are British). I a diet cake and a simple chicken dish. My husband ordered a beer and also had a simple chicken dish. We ended up paying $300 for a terrible dinner while my sister paid nothing and her in laws paid very little and ate like kings.
I didn't mention it to her until months later when she brought up the meal as a "wonderful time" and touted the generousity of her in laws. I told her we had subsidized their extravagant meal when they literally had millions. According to her, this is something they do regularly. So in sum, rich Europeans (well tacky brits anyway) do this too. |
Anonymous
Diet Coke, not diet cake. I totally would have ordered a diet cake if it was on the menu though. 
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Anonymous
LOL that reminds me of a story I read about the former King of England "Donahue was ever-present, joining the Windsors for dinner, late-night cabarets and parties. Much to the delight of the Duke, who had a thick streak of parsimony, his wife’s admirer always picked up the cheque." Guess they know the only way they can keep their lavish lifestyles through generations is to spend as little as possible. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5355361/Wallis-Simpson-biography-reveals-tired-husband.html |
Anonymous
| Yes a New Year's Eve party. I was surprised, but it was a good friend of DH so I rolled with it. It was NYC so maybe things are different there. |
Anonymous
DP - Taking a friend out for dinner (or an x+1 baby shower) and splitting the check for the birthday person is pretty common. If Daddy(or Mommy) Warbuck's is sitting at the table wants to pay for everything, it is fine but not expected at all. Not every Birthday get together is a formal party. |
Anonymous
| I had my wedding shower at a restaurant and it never even occurred to me to have the guests (GUESTS!!) pay. The inviter pays. Period. |
Anonymous
Did the birthday person invite you or did you invite them? If the former, they are the host and should pay. If the latter, then you should pay. |
Anonymous
| We have an acquaintance who also has very large partirs for her DS at bounce house/play house type places where they charge admission per child. She offers cake and goody bags to the attendees but doesn't pay for their cost of attending. It's clearly a gift grab. We have always declined. |
Anonymous
Different groups do things differently, but this is also an age/generational thing. Growing up, my parents generation always paid if they were hosting. In my 20's, we definitely split the check and paid for the birthday person. But we all understood this was the plan, and it was a common occurrence in our group. No one had the funds to cover a whole group. For showers, I hosted or co-hosted several at home. I really don't understand inviting people to a shower at a restaurant then expecting the guests to pay. In my 30's, I started hosting birthday events for me and my spouse. We were the first in our group to do this, and so many friends gushed over the birthday dinner we invited them to at our home, stating how nice it was to not have to fork over so much cash to celebrate. The birthday outings were becoming really pricey ($150+/pp) and we didn't want to gouge our friends. IMO, some celebrations have become too expensive. It's not necessary to have out of town bachelor/ette parties, showers at fancy restaurants, etc. It's sad when people decline celebrating with friends or dread being a bridesmaid because it's getting too expensive. |
Anonymous
| I think it’s nuts that someone would show up at a restaurant and NOT expect to cover their own plate, as happened in the article. Maybe it’s a millennial thing. |
Anonymous
They aren’t hosting. They are allowing the gathering to occur at their home. Hosting implies they handle everything, including the cost. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
It is in my social circle too and we are all college educated (some with advanced degrees and 2nd-5th generation college educated) mostly white women. We have been doing it since our 20’s. We are now in our 50’s. |
Anonymous
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Whatever happened to just hosting simple things at home? We do at home birthdays for our kid. People act like it's so unusual and brave.
Making everything such a big production just encourages people to not get together and celebrate. No wonder there is an epidemic of loneliness in this country. |