Unimpressed with dating sites

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here....true, I am not interested in being a side piece for a married man. And, I don't want to get married -- just have a nice relationship with a kind, fun, intellectual man who is great in bed. Wealth is not a priority but solvency and motivation is. I guess that narrows it to like .02 percent.

Coincidentally, a friend of a friend just posted this morning on FB that they met their wife on a major mountain out West...so yeah, guess I'll hit the trails....

I find that women who say they don't want to get married are either lying, or not serious about having a long-term relationship. I'd never be exclusive with a woman who isn't interested in going the distance.

Then you haven't met me. 50, single, fit, financially solvent and a big adventure seeker. I get asked out all the time in real life by coworkers, contractors, guys i thought were in the friend zone.

I was shackled for 17 years and lived a life of compromise. Why in the f&%k would I want to recreate that?

So you expect that will still be happening (if it's actually happening now) when you are 55, 60, 65, 70?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here....true, I am not interested in being a side piece for a married man. And, I don't want to get married -- just have a nice relationship with a kind, fun, intellectual man who is great in bed. Wealth is not a priority but solvency and motivation is. I guess that narrows it to like .02 percent.

Coincidentally, a friend of a friend just posted this morning on FB that they met their wife on a major mountain out West...so yeah, guess I'll hit the trails....

I find that women who say they don't want to get married are either lying, or not serious about having a long-term relationship. I'd never be exclusive with a woman who isn't interested in going the distance.

Then you haven't met me. 50, single, fit, financially solvent and a big adventure seeker. I get asked out all the time in real life by coworkers, contractors, guys i thought were in the friend zone.

I was shackled for 17 years and lived a life of compromise. Why in the f&%k would I want to recreate that?

So you expect that will still be happening (if it's actually happening now) when you are 55, 60, 65, 70?

Do you mean will I still be fit, financially solvent, and ready for adventures when I'm social security age and beyond? Yes, I do expect this will "still be happening." Will coworkers still ask me out? Maybe not, maybe so. I don't control what they do. It doesn't logically follow that I should rethink my preference to stay unmarried in light of the possibility that date requests dwindle. Some of us really don't need a partner (I'm one of them), and others do wish for that.

[Anonymous]

I was also shackled, for 21 years, not 17. I am mid-40’s, in great shape, financially secure. I have tons of friends and lots of hobbies. I have zero interest in ever getting married again. Ever. I see no need to. I have no problem getting my physical needs met without having to devote a lot of time or energy into being part of a couple. I’ll admit I’m selfish at this point in my life. I have no desire to compromise with another human being.

My XH can’t stand being single-he appears to be the unicorn, ladies, and he’s was on the dating sites working them hard until he landed a serious girlfriend. Too bad no one will know the whole truth about who he really is and why we divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here....true, I am not interested in being a side piece for a married man. And, I don't want to get married -- just have a nice relationship with a kind, fun, intellectual man who is great in bed. Wealth is not a priority but solvency and motivation is. I guess that narrows it to like .02 percent.

Coincidentally, a friend of a friend just posted this morning on FB that they met their wife on a major mountain out West...so yeah, guess I'll hit the trails....

I find that women who say they don't want to get married are either lying, or not serious about having a long-term relationship. I'd never be exclusive with a woman who isn't interested in going the distance.

Then you haven't met me. 50, single, fit, financially solvent and a big adventure seeker. I get asked out all the time in real life by coworkers, contractors, guys i thought were in the friend zone.

I was shackled for 17 years and lived a life of compromise. Why in the f&%k would I want to recreate that?

So you expect that will still be happening (if it's actually happening now) when you are 55, 60, 65, 70?

Women of all ages can get sex and boyfriends. Many of them don’t want men in their lives anymore, leaving plenty of choices for the women who do want relationships or sex. I used to work in a nursing home and you would be shocked.

[Anonymous]

OP here. A NP, not me, posted about getting asked on lots of dates. If you are trying to follow the narrative and are forming some impression of me, just know that the "subject" is muddied at this point.

Anyway, I went on a date from one of the sites and the guy talked about himself the whole time, asked me no questions and rarely made eye contact. Afterward, I went to a bar for dinner and the man next to me tried to pick me up. So no, it's not my appearance that is the issue. I just want a more interested and interesting guy. I really like men, I enjoy being in a relationship, and do not want to get married (BTDT). Plus, I have a kid at home. So yeah, I am intentionally being picky, for good reason.

[Anonymous]

Don't be a typical lazy woman on a dating site who complains about the men who message you. Ignore the messages and do your own looking, then message a guy who looks interesting. I agree that only 5% are dateable, if that. But I consider that pretty good odds and no different than the people you meet anywhere, no matter how you meet.

If one in twenty profiles on a dating site look interesting, look at a 200 or so profiles over a few weeks and narrow those ten guys down into a few of the best, then write to them. They most likely will write back as guys hardly ever receive any messages from women on a dating site. Not real messages anyway.

That's how it works. Just like in real life, it's a numbers game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't be a typical lazy woman on a dating site who complains about the men who message you. Ignore the messages and do your own looking, then message a guy who looks interesting. I agree that only 5% are dateable, if that. But I consider that pretty good odds and no different than the people you meet anywhere, no matter how you meet.

If one in twenty profiles on a dating site look interesting, look at a 200 or so profiles over a few weeks and narrow those ten guys down into a few of the best, then write to them. They most likely will write back as guys hardly ever receive any messages from women on a dating site. Not real messages anyway.

That's how it works. Just like in real life, it's a numbers game.

The flaw in your cunning plan is that most women exclude everyone except the same few percent of men. So you can message first - and you should take the initiative - but you're trying to land a supermodel. He might be very busy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. A NP, not me, posted about getting asked on lots of dates. If you are trying to follow the narrative and are forming some impression of me, just know that the "subject" is muddied at this point.

Anyway, I went on a date from one of the sites and the guy talked about himself the whole time, asked me no questions and rarely made eye contact. Afterward, I went to a bar for dinner and the man next to me tried to pick me up. So no, it's not my appearance that is the issue. I just want a more interested and interesting guy. I really like men, I enjoy being in a relationship, and do not want to get married (BTDT). Plus, I have a kid at home. So yeah, I am intentionally being picky, for good reason.

Get off the internet and go do some things in real life that you are interested in. What are your hobbies and interests?

If you are not interesting and do not have a full life, the interesting men will not be interested in you.