Being in my 30s is boring

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel you. I'm 35. I think it's just that most people are boring.

I know some other parents that still like to go to concerts, get high, etc. They're out there, if not the norm.

I do think OP is just surrounding herself with the wrong people.

But I have no interest in going to concerts and getting high. Is that what fun is to some people?

We still travel with and without kids, go to happy hours at least once per week, play in rec leagues, and skip out to wineries when our kids are occupied. Look for people without kids. They're usually still up for going out, and the conversations about kids will be minimal because they just don't care much about your spawn.

Yes. People like concerts. This is news to you?

Well, according to PP, it's not even the norm for parents to like concerts. So there's at least two people who think that lots of people don't go to concerts for fun.

Concerts are for teens, 20's, and 50 year olds who want to see Elton John.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been realizing recently that it's taken me about 8 years to really readjust to being a mom and make changes in my life that make me happy in a different way, without the partying, like in my 20s.

You need to give it time and also be open to change, find new ways of having fun and being social. And you will find other women like you. But if you keep moping for the good old days, you will never get them back. That ship has sailed. The sorriest moms I know are the ones who still try to go out and party like they are in their 20s.

This.

[Anonymous]

OP-- a lot of this comes down to money and time. People's priorities change. To go to a concert, get tickets and a sitter, you're looking at a $300-$500 evening out. That's a lot. Go to a bar and again you're looking at $100 for the sitter plus $100+ for drinks and food. Not to mention that the kids get up when they get up---just because you stayed out late doesn't mean you get to sleep in and skip soccer.

I work full time and my weekends are much more jam packed then my weekdays. As for happy hour, well, I want to hear about my kids day more than I want to stand around in a bar.

Getting together with friends usually means a Sat night at someone's house while the kids play in the basement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The cool mommies hit the beer farms (often with kids in tow). They also like "exotic" chain restaurants like Cava for girls night out. According to FB and thanks to the movie, they also love to do Bad Moms Night at the movies, the beer farm, Cava.

I work, so my social circle is primarily comprised of my peers who are well-educated, driven, politically savvy women. We don't talk about our kids. We aren't fake. And since we work downtown, we have easy access to great bars and restaurants.

Pretty much sums it up. Some of them go to tyson's for lunch dates and such as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think your experience is largely dependent on whether you work or not and where you live. I work in DC but live in the burbs. My husband and I switch off about every other week so the other one can have a night off. I do happy hours, dinners, art exhibits, plays, etc on a regular basis and more than half my friends don’t have kids. Unless someone asks I don’t drag on about motherhood and kiddie activities.

I am also an interesting person, which helps. I’m very well traveled, have worked all over the world and also enjoy friends from different races and cultures. If you are a mom who doesn’t work and lives in the suburbs, I feel for you. Those girls are boring. PP said it - they think Cava is a fun night out and they tell mind numbing stories in excruciating details about their kids. Poor souls.

Damn I'm so jealous of you! This is the life I want to live. I work from home in a city with boring people...it can't get any worse

[Anonymous]

The fun is here. Let's get to it. I just turned 40 and let me tell you there are still ways to have fun (working mom, married with 4 kids). Call me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel you. I'm 35. I think it's just that most people are boring.

I know some other parents that still like to go to concerts, get high, etc. They're out there, if not the norm.

I do think OP is just surrounding herself with the wrong people.

But I have no interest in going to concerts and getting high. Is that what fun is to some people?

We still travel with and without kids, go to happy hours at least once per week, play in rec leagues, and skip out to wineries when our kids are occupied. Look for people without kids. They're usually still up for going out, and the conversations about kids will be minimal because they just don't care much about your spawn.

This is true. Especially when you're in your 30's the childfree folks are always up for going out, getting dinner at the last minute, or pretty much whatever. Just don't drone on and on about your kids or tell poop stories and they will hang out with you.

[Anonymous]

Your 30's shouldn't be boring just because you're a parent. I think the main reason those Baby Bjorn carriers were made was so you can wear your infant to happy hour. You just need to develop a "don't care" attitude about what others think. You're doing it right when the tiger parents ignore you and the "party" parents gravitate to you. Be especially nice to the boring families so they can be free babysitters!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The cool mommies hit the beer farms (often with kids in tow). They also like "exotic" chain restaurants like Cava for girls night out. According to FB and thanks to the movie, they also love to do Bad Moms Night at the movies, the beer farm, Cava.

I work, so my social circle is primarily comprised of my peers who are well-educated, driven, politically savvy women. We don't talk about our kids. We aren't fake. And since we work downtown, we have easy access to great bars and restaurants.

You mean the alcoholic mommies.

[Anonymous]

Grow up OP. Your life has changed. The most important job on the planet is being a good parent. Think about how many people are totally screwed up and much of that is due to lousy parents or no parents.

[Anonymous]

If you're a mom, how do you go about making friends who don't have kids? Everyone at my part-time job has young kids. I have tried adult ed classes at the local community center but it's all retirees. Everyone in my neighborhood is retired or has young kids. I'd love to make more friends without kids but don't know how to go about it.

[Anonymous]

i'm not bored. i have 2 beautiful awesome kids, a husband who (still!) loves me and an exciting kick-ass job. might be time to shake some things up in your life. get a hobby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you're a mom, how do you go about making friends who don't have kids? Everyone at my part-time job has young kids. I have tried adult ed classes at the local community center but it's all retirees. Everyone in my neighborhood is retired or has young kids. I'd love to make more friends without kids but don't know how to go about it.

Pre-kid friends who don't have kids yet/don't want kids, work, hobbies, volunteer, friends of friends

The point is to keep socializing and you will eventually make friends. Don't limit your social circle to only family and the parents of your kids' friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 20s were a great time. I was starting an interesting career, was meeting new exciting friends, and went out all the times. As a mom in my 30s life is boring as fuck!!!!! I enjoy motherhood, but socializing outside of my kid seriously is lacking. Why are people with families so fucking boring?!?! I know it won't be like my 20s again, with late night drinking escapades, but isn't there some fun 30s equivalent that doesn't involve kid s or mommy talk. It also seems like everyone in this stage in life is wearing a mask. I'm so over the boring fake ness. Where are the fun people hiding?????

Time to grow up, OP.

what happened to your firends in your 20s? I am now in my 40s with a kid and my 30s were awesome. I still work out regularly, have an interesting circle of friends, my closest friends are for sure my pre-kid friends. I go out probably 2-4 times a month. My best friends are all child-free by choice. I meet a lot of other moms and yes there are some that only talk about their kids but I also meet a lot of really interesting moms too. FWIW, I live in the city and that might make a difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most people say their 30s were the best years of their life.

My 30s were happier than 22-30, when I went to an isolatingly competitive law school, struggled at Biglaw, got fired, got clinical depression, was nervous about not having marriage prospects.
My 30s enabled me to experience the joys of motherhood. Despite its obvious difficulties, I have never experienced such pure joy and glee. Kids are magical.