Is there a computer in your 10 year old's room? If not, where is their computer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ten year old has laptop in his room. I also have software that gives me a weekly roll up of everything he’s done, and can drill down. I know what he is doing and who he is doing it with. He’s not secretive about what he’s doing, so I am not monitoring every day. If his behavior was to change (getting secretive or quietJ when he’s on his computer, then I would start reviewing daily.
I’m a cyber security person by trade.

What software do you use?

Symentec norton family.
Also have Microsoft family because it works on the Xbox.
Norton isn’t great with iOS but I don’t need it for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DC is interested in writing, animating, movie editing, programming, games, etc...Was thinking about having DC's computer in their room. Would probably prefer having the computer in the family room but we also have a 5 year old who enjoys bothering the older sibling.

Mom of teens: NO NEVER

Your kid will not be 10 forever and creating new rules is near impossible.

Electronics are not allowed upstairs in our house, since our kids were little. I cannot even try to imagine if they were allowed and I needed to create that rule now with my teens. Compliance would be hell.

fyi studies also show kids do better if they do homework at the family table. it's less lonely and they won't stop doing homework and go to fun websites (games, or porn, etc) when they hit that math problem they can't answer. They'll yell "mom/dad, what's x divided by y squared?" instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is interested in writing, animating, movie editing, programming, games, etc...Was thinking about having DC's computer in their room. Would probably prefer having the computer in the family room but we also have a 5 year old who enjoys bothering the older sibling.

Mom of teens: NO NEVER

Your kid will not be 10 forever and creating new rules is near impossible.

Electronics are not allowed upstairs in our house, since our kids were little. I cannot even try to imagine if they were allowed and I needed to create that rule now with my teens. Compliance would be hell.

fyi studies also show kids do better if they do homework at the family table. it's less lonely and they won't stop doing homework and go to fun websites (games, or porn, etc) when they hit that math problem they can't answer. They'll yell "mom/dad, what's x divided by y squared?" instead.

She didn’t say it was for homework.
My kids do their homework at the kitchen table while my husband makes dinner.
Computer is in their room. They like making YouTube videos. But their YouTube channel is locked down so only family and very close friends see their videos.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is interested in writing, animating, movie editing, programming, games, etc...Was thinking about having DC's computer in their room. Would probably prefer having the computer in the family room but we also have a 5 year old who enjoys bothering the older sibling.

Mom of teens: NO NEVER

Your kid will not be 10 forever and creating new rules is near impossible.

Electronics are not allowed upstairs in our house, since our kids were little. I cannot even try to imagine if they were allowed and I needed to create that rule now with my teens. Compliance would be hell.

fyi studies also show kids do better if they do homework at the family table. it's less lonely and they won't stop doing homework and go to fun websites (games, or porn, etc) when they hit that math problem they can't answer. They'll yell "mom/dad, what's x divided by y squared?" instead.

Wow, so your teens have had the same rules since they were born? Amazing! Do they mind that you are at their friends birthday parties? Aren’t you tired of cutting their meat?
I’m obviously being sarcastic. Rules change all the time. At 4 my children would not have knives at meal time. As teens, they do. At 5, I still went to birthday parties with them. At 10, no. It’s not that different with computers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ten year old has laptop in his room. I also have software that gives me a weekly roll up of everything he’s done, and can drill down. I know what he is doing and who he is doing it with. He’s not secretive about what he’s doing, so I am not monitoring every day. If his behavior was to change (getting secretive or quietJ when he’s on his computer, then I would start reviewing daily.
I’m a cyber security person by trade.

What software do you use?

Symentec norton family.
Also have Microsoft family because it works on the Xbox.
Norton isn’t great with iOS but I don’t need it for that.

Symantec? I though they were pretty defunct now...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ten year old has laptop in his room. I also have software that gives me a weekly roll up of everything he’s done, and can drill down. I know what he is doing and who he is doing it with. He’s not secretive about what he’s doing, so I am not monitoring every day. If his behavior was to change (getting secretive or quietJ when he’s on his computer, then I would start reviewing daily.
I’m a cyber security person by trade.

What software do you use?

Symentec norton family.
Also have Microsoft family because it works on the Xbox.
Norton isn’t great with iOS but I don’t need it for that.

Symantec? I though they were pretty defunct now...

Also how about ourpact?

[Anonymous]

it's in our open kitchen area. No way would I let a tween have a computer or a tv in their own room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really bad to let kids have phone or computer in their room alone.

why? what is really bad about that?

You really aren't aware that there's a ton of content on the internet that would be really inappropriate for a 10 year old to see and would be super easy for them to stumble on to?

Also, victims and perpetrators of cyber bullying usually have comps in their rooms. Lots of unsupervised computer time.

[Anonymous]

So did your parents listen in on your phone covers at ions when you were a teen? That's effectively what is happening here. You have to foster responsibility and independence, but also not check out. It is a fine line.

For us, we have extensive homework and projects on the computer, multiple kids, and small house so for DD to focus she needs to work in her room on her computer. I check her history and probably will end up installing monitoring software but at some level I need to just be plugged into her life to make sure she is OK not just her computer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really bad to let kids have phone or computer in their room alone.

why? what is really bad about that?

You really aren't aware that there's a ton of content on the internet that would be really inappropriate for a 10 year old to see and would be super easy for them to stumble on to?

Also, victims and perpetrators of cyber bullying usually have comps in their rooms. Lots of unsupervised computer time.

Good luck. We found out our DD was having group chat between friends by sharing a Google document on their school issued accounts.

If you watched her, it looked like she was just editing a word document. In reality it was a group chat! Kids will find a way...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:it's in our open kitchen area. No way would I let a tween have a computer or a tv in their own room.

What tween would even want a TV?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really bad to let kids have phone or computer in their room alone.

why? what is really bad about that?

You really aren't aware that there's a ton of content on the internet that would be really inappropriate for a 10 year old to see and would be super easy for them to stumble on to?

Also, victims and perpetrators of cyber bullying usually have comps in their rooms. Lots of unsupervised computer time.

Good luck. We found out our DD was having group chat between friends by sharing a Google document on their school issued accounts.

If you watched her, it looked like she was just editing a word document. In reality it was a group chat! Kids will find a way...

I think you're missing the point. You should make it as difficult as possible for your kids to find A way rather than help them along .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So did your parents listen in on your phone covers at ions when you were a teen? That's effectively what is happening here. You have to foster responsibility and independence, but also not check out. It is a fine line.

For us, we have extensive homework and projects on the computer, multiple kids, and small house so for DD to focus she needs to work in her room on her computer. I check her history and probably will end up installing monitoring software but at some level I need to just be plugged into her life to make sure she is OK not just her computer.

No. The technology is much different and much more dangerous now, on multiple levels, than a wired phone in the house.

[Anonymous]

Nope.

The "family computer" is in the living room/study. It's by the window on a large table where the kids can spread out their homework, use the computer (for homework and also sometimes for fun), and keep papers filed neatly when they come back from school.

It's like their office desk, but in a shared family space. There's a direct sightline to the screen from the family room and from the kitchen table, too.

In our house, kids do not have an "expectation of privacy" when it comes to computer time. They've never expressed any issue with it. No complaints or requests to have it in their room.

That said, if the kids were to keep a diary/journal on the computer (or on paper, for that matter), we of course would respect their privacy and not read it! But where they go and what they play on-line is an open book. Having the computer in a shared space helps with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really bad to let kids have phone or computer in their room alone.

why? what is really bad about that?

You really aren't aware that there's a ton of content on the internet that would be really inappropriate for a 10 year old to see and would be super easy for them to stumble on to?

Also, victims and perpetrators of cyber bullying usually have comps in their rooms. Lots of unsupervised computer time.

Good luck. We found out our DD was having group chat between friends by sharing a Google document on their school issued accounts.

If you watched her, it looked like she was just editing a word document. In reality it was a group chat! Kids will find a way...

I think you're missing the point. You should make it as difficult as possible for your kids to find A way rather than help them along .

Yep, as a mom to teens, I agree with this point generally. E.g., I might not be able to prevent my teen from drinking or having sex. That doesn't mean I allow my DSs to drink beer in their bedrooms are have their girlfriends sleep with them.