Homework taking 8 hours?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, thanks for the advice. She's been at the same Big 7 since 4th grade and this issue has just recently emerged. I recently did go ahead and get for screened (from a reputable doctor) for ADHD, and the doctor said she has very little chance of it, and her scores were abnormally good. Maybe it has to do with anxiety? I switched her to downstairs this week so we'll see how that works.

This is very common in middle school. Kids were used to getting 1-2 worksheets or reading in elementary school with one maybe two teachers. Once they start rotating thru multiple classes and start getting 20-30min for each one, the kids need to use time management skills but they are very immature on their executive functioning and self regulation skills because no one has taught them. Most parents and doctors want to label ADHD and get them meds or extra time to do everything. The kids just need to learn how to use a planner, actually work during their study halls, not have their phone anywhere near them and manage their homework time while heavily being guarded by you until it gets better. We had to do this with my daughter somewhat in 7th and all of 8th. Some of the ideas that worked.

Getting in touch with guidance counselor, learning specialist, and all of her teachers to let them know of the problem and what our plan was.
No phone until all homework was done, except one 10min break. Parent codes on laptop or iPad to get rid of any social media links or apps.
30min homework session, timed for each major class.
We would sit down and figure out besides HW, where the tests/quizzes, papers, and long term projects are. This was her doom. She held off all of things until last minute. We would balance papers and long term projects on weekends, days off, or when she had no tests/quizzes the next day.
Once she started each HW session, if she didn't get it done before the 30min, she would not complete it and let her teacher know.
She took 10min breaks in-between HW 1-2 and 3-4 (if she got done earlier than 30min the break started then) She had to literally get up, move, do something outside, etc..
Between courses 2 and 3, she took a longer break. Either for dinner, walking the dog, biking, etc...
No electronics in her room at all once it is bedtime. So she has a window she needs to find after getting done HW and going to bed to do what she wants. It is a goal for her.
She quickly started to realize if she did work in school when given those 10min or so at end of class or at study hall, her workload would be lighter and her nights would be easier.
We initially said all mandatory HW at home and use study halls for studying but that didn't work. She still was using study halls to decompress and not doing well with graded assignments. So try some ideas and reassess with teachers and your child to see what is and is not working.


It was tough but she is in 11th grade and is excelling at time management and getting everything done in a short window. She takes 6 majors, 3 sciences, and plays a Fall sport and a travel sport outside of school. She stills has balance and can walk the dog each day during homework breaks. It refreshes her for the next round of HW. She still plugs her phone in downstairs for homework and laptop and phone downstairs before going to sleep. I see her phone going off all night, past midnight and beyond. So it is obvious social media and texts are constant. You have to teach your daughter to force herself to step away. It is tough. It takes a lot of time and patience as a parent. If you don't think you can handle it, pay someone to at least come in weekly to keep her on track. Time management tutor. They are pricy, like $70/hr but maybe for a month or so, it is worth it.

Good luck!