When did you realize your child was average?

[Anonymous]

My spouse and I are probably slightly above average intelligence, but we are both very hard workers. I ended up with an MD/PhD and my spouse has a PhD.

Thus, we know a lot of really truly smart people. However, so many of these brilliant people are just so fundamentally unhappy (perfectionist, never satisfied, few friends, workaholic, etc). It seems almost romantic in movies to have a tortured genius, but the reality is less pleasant.

Our kids have always seemed average. It distresses our friends, but we are very happy with this outcome. Extreme intelligence seems to be a blessing and a curse.

[Anonymous]

My kids seem average. They’re 5 and 3. I know they’re not on the extreme wrong side of IQ, so average is fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone thinks their toddler is brilliant. And I am not different. DH is quite smart but I am of average intelligence and I understand that recent studies conclude that the children get the mother's IQ. I was hungry a lot as a child (raised in Russia until I was seven) so maybe that had an effect on my IQ - but I am definitely average. Other people comment on how smart DD (just 21 months) is but I think it's because she is a talker and loves reading.

When does it become apparent that your child isn't a genius?

Fascinating. Is that true? Source?

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/children-intelligence-iq-mother-inherit-inheritance-genetics-genes-a7345596.html

[Anonymous]

I would rather raise a child of average intelligence than a genius. I don't think it would be easy to manage the needs of a really advanced child and I think it can be a very lonely existence for the kid and the parents.

[Anonymous]

“Intelligence” has many sides and types. There are many different types of intelligence. I know several book smart people (with PhD) that have zero street smarts and several “street smart” People that have never left the country and never read a book. My parents and teachers thought I was very smart (book smart) and I did get a PhD with minimum effort, but my friends with more “average” intelligence make more money than I do.

My eldest was “super smart” and had words at 7 months (Pediatrician did not believe me until she “spoke” during a visit) and spoke in full and complex sentences (in 2 languages) by 18 months. She tested average in the private school IQ test at 5.

My middle child spoke later, more on the normal timeline, and scored 99% in the same IQ test at 5... go figure

My 18 month old son has a few words and most are not very clear... he is normal, healthy and happy... that is all I care about at this point

[Anonymous]

I think there’s a lot of space in between “average” and “gifted”

Truly average people might not go to college or achieve a six figure salary. People think that if their kids aren’t reading at 2, then they must be average.

No. They’re not three standard deviations from the mean, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re average. I think DCUM types confuse this sometimes with the idea that they’re being humble and folksy by calling their kids “average” but would shit bricks if their bright kids didn’t go to college.

[Anonymous]

I can’t tell with my 4.5 year old. She seems precocious, but not super intellectual if that makes sense. For example, she asked me to teach her to read, so we are and she’s sounding out words and getting pretty good pretty quickly. So smart, right? But still sounds out “and” every. time. and cannot remember “the” for the life of her. I can’t imagine she’ll end up gifted if she can’t remember “the” after reading it 50 times in the last few weeks? Her speech is still decently immature (she’ll say “my mom is learning me to read” instead of “reading me” and makes a lot of mistakes with past and future tenses still). So I think I realized she wouldn’t be as smart as I was as a kid when she started really learning things and didn’t pick them up immediately or after being reminded once. Maybe 2.5 or 3 years old?

But I think her eagerness to learn and persistence are equally or more valuable than raw intellect, so we focus on teaching those things while we cover the same fact for the hundredth time.

[Anonymous]

Reading = teaching

[Anonymous]

Only on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

I have 2 geniuses and one with severe delays so they average out

[Anonymous]

Please don't sort your kid at preschool age. There's nothing to predict early milestones indicate later intelligence. Many a delayed kid, with the right intervention, can totally catch up. And plenty of early gifted kids don't necessarily turn into superstars as they get older.

[Anonymous]

I assume everyone is average until I see something that says otherwise? Because that's the norm?

[Anonymous]

My now 14 year old learned well as a toddler - especially loved learning new words. He was an early (but not super early) reader and was way ahead of his peers in preschool, Kindergarten and 1st grade. His teachers gave him special homework and told me to prep for gifted and talented testing.

About 3rd grade, I realized he really wasn't grasping some concepts. He was good at memorizing and somehow that seems to have been what carried him through.

Now he's been tested for learning issues and while we haven't zeroed in on anything other than ADHD, he's sadly not going to be at the top of his class.

I was told to wait until 3rd grade to see where they stand in relation to their peers and in my experience, that was also very true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The "gifted" label is thrown around like confetti these days -- so much so that it's become rather meaningless, really.

I'm teaching my kids to be polite, kind, thoughtful and civic-minded with the ability to hold a real back-and-forth, in-person conversation. All else will flow from there.

+1 and
Thank you!

[Anonymous]

My two toddlers are pretty average. My DD is a genius when it comes to pushing my buttons .