When did you realize your child was average?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not a parent but just a preschool teacher... I have never had a parent of one of my students tell me their child was average. Not in over ten years. They all think their kid is bright.

So my observation is that parents realize their kid is just average after the age of five.

I have a toddler and I'm sure he's a pretty average dude, which is fine with me. Like anyone, he will have areas he excels and I'll encourage his focus on those areas, if they also seem to bring him enjoyment. Sure, I think he's adorable and smart, but I'm also a realist. The kid was just chewing his foot, not doing calculus. The true rare genius would be smack you in the face obvious, so why spend time trying to see glimmers of something? People are weird.

[Anonymous]

From what I hear, emotional intelligence, social skills, and good old plain effort paired with resilience go a long way. Longer than genius alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not a parent but just a preschool teacher... I have never had a parent of one of my students tell me their child was average. Not in over ten years. They all think their kid is bright.

So my observation is that parents realize their kid is just average after the age of five.

Do you really have parents give their assessment of their child, though? Like they say "we think Johnny is brilliant, don't you agree?" That's just odd to me. I have two preschool aged kids and with both, we ask the teacher for her assessment. She's teaching them, after all, and has training in the field of young child development. I want to hear what she has to say, and I don't want her assessment to be colored by my thoughts.

I think the poster who said a kid can be average and still be an amazing sponge is spot on. Young kids really are incredible learners. But that doesn't necessarily mean they will be brilliant intellectually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When your toddler starts talking in sentences at 18 months, but doesn't show reasoning of an older child--average

When your toddler loves books but isn't reading yet--average

When your toddler loves puzzles but isn't doing 100 piece ones yet--average

When your toddler can count to 20 but can't count the 12 buttons on the table--average

Genius kind of hits you in the face.

Spot on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not a parent but just a preschool teacher... I have never had a parent of one of my students tell me their child was average. Not in over ten years. They all think their kid is bright.

So my observation is that parents realize their kid is just average after the age of five.

Do you really have parents give their assessment of their child, though? Like they say "we think Johnny is brilliant, don't you agree?" That's just odd to me. I have two preschool aged kids and with both, we ask the teacher for her assessment. She's teaching them, after all, and has training in the field of young child development. I want to hear what she has to say, and I don't want her assessment to be colored by my thoughts.

I think the poster who said a kid can be average and still be an amazing sponge is spot on. Young kids really are incredible learners. But that doesn't necessarily mean they will be brilliant intellectually.

I think my kid is bright, but that's because it's my job. If I see him as bright and a capable/active learner, he is more likely to see himself as that as well, and thus more likely to become so. How a person sees himself as a student has a huge impact on their school experience, especially at young ages. So I will continue to think he's bright.

But is he a genius? Nope. Brighter than peers with similar advantages? Not noticeably so. But bright? Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not a parent but just a preschool teacher... I have never had a parent of one of my students tell me their child was average. Not in over ten years. They all think their kid is bright.

So my observation is that parents realize their kid is just average after the age of five.

Do you really have parents give their assessment of their child, though? Like they say "we think Johnny is brilliant, don't you agree?" That's just odd to me. I have two preschool aged kids and with both, we ask the teacher for her assessment. She's teaching them, after all, and has training in the field of young child development. I want to hear what she has to say, and I don't want her assessment to be colored by my thoughts.

I think the poster who said a kid can be average and still be an amazing sponge is spot on. Young kids really are incredible learners. But that doesn't necessarily mean they will be brilliant intellectually.

I think my kid is bright, but that's because it's my job. If I see him as bright and a capable/active learner, he is more likely to see himself as that as well, and thus more likely to become so. How a person sees himself as a student has a huge impact on their school experience, especially at young ages. So I will continue to think he's bright.

But is he a genius? Nope. Brighter than peers with similar advantages? Not noticeably so. But bright? Yes.

I've read that kids who think themselves bright do worse than kids whose parents emphasize the importance of hard work. Just sayin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From what I hear, emotional intelligence, social skills, and good old plain effort paired with resilience go a long way. Longer than genius alone.

Resilience for sure. We had a brilliant guy in my class, he was a very nice person as well. We had one professor who hated everyone and who took a particular dislike to that guy. He made it a point to give this guy a B in the last semester of the senior year for no reason whatsoever. Instead of fighting back, the guy got his diploma, rejected all the job offers, disappeared for awhile, and some church currently has a very nice priest (the guy was good looking on top of his smarts and personality).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When your toddler starts talking in sentences at 18 months, but doesn't show reasoning of an older child--average

When your toddler loves books but isn't reading yet--average

When your toddler loves puzzles but isn't doing 100 piece ones yet--average

When your toddler can count to 20 but can't count the 12 buttons on the table--average

Genius kind of hits you in the face.

Spot on.

Really? I feel like all of these things happen at totally different times -- whether for geniuses or not. My 2 year old is apparently average, average and a genius, because she can definitely count 12 buttons on a table... but she doesn't even know her letters yet, so reading is a long, long way off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When your toddler starts talking in sentences at 18 months, but doesn't show reasoning of an older child--average

When your toddler loves books but isn't reading yet--average

When your toddler loves puzzles but isn't doing 100 piece ones yet--average

When your toddler can count to 20 but can't count the 12 buttons on the table--average

Genius kind of hits you in the face.

Above average smart kids do not necessarily hit you in the face, the same way genius kids do. Had you asked my parents if I was a genius, they would certainly say no. This is because I am not. At the same time, I consider myself above-average smart (IQ in 160s). There are no stories in my family about me reading at 2 or doing calculus at 4. I did start playing musical instruments at a young age, but that's about it. It's not before I went to school, that I realized that I "got" things a lot quicker than my peers.

To the OP: I am big believer in nurture. So, please OP, nurture your child and give her ample opportunities to develop. I am also a big believer in messaging. I hope you let your child develop, discover her strengths, and rise to her potential, without being given the message that she may just be average. While I do not advocate for empty praise, some healthy encouragement can go a long way. I hope your sweet 21 months old exceeds all your expectations, OP. In the mean time, enjoy your talker and your book lover.

Are you sure your IQ is 160? That's not above-average smart, that is actually genius.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not a parent but just a preschool teacher... I have never had a parent of one of my students tell me their child was average. Not in over ten years. They all think their kid is bright.

So my observation is that parents realize their kid is just average after the age of five.

Do you really have parents give their assessment of their child, though? Like they say "we think Johnny is brilliant, don't you agree?" That's just odd to me. I have two preschool aged kids and with both, we ask the teacher for her assessment. She's teaching them, after all, and has training in the field of young child development. I want to hear what she has to say, and I don't want her assessment to be colored by my thoughts.

I think the poster who said a kid can be average and still be an amazing sponge is spot on. Young kids really are incredible learners. But that doesn't necessarily mean they will be brilliant intellectually.

Yes, in one way or another, every parent has commented on how bright, smart or quick their child is.

[Anonymous]

agree with above 14:06

I think you're better off assuming your child is average. If you have that mindset, you will always be trying to encourage that child, provide extra help (tutoring), and above all give the expectation that the child needs to work at learning. My personal opinion is that children who think they are smart get lazy and discouraged when things don't come easy.

Plus you won't be an insufferable braggart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When your toddler starts talking in sentences at 18 months, but doesn't show reasoning of an older child--average

When your toddler loves books but isn't reading yet--average

When your toddler loves puzzles but isn't doing 100 piece ones yet--average

When your toddler can count to 20 but can't count the 12 buttons on the table--average

Genius kind of hits you in the face.

Spot on.

Really? I feel like all of these things happen at totally different times -- whether for geniuses or not. My 2 year old is apparently average, average and a genius, because she can definitely count 12 buttons on a table... but she doesn't even know her letters yet, so reading is a long, long way off.

I'm assuming she meant 18mo. My 18mo can count to 20, but she can't actually count things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone thinks their toddler is brilliant. And I am not different. DH is quite smart but I am of average intelligence and I understand that recent studies conclude that the children get the mother's IQ. I was hungry a lot as a child (raised in Russia until I was seven) so maybe that had an effect on my IQ - but I am definitely average. Other people comment on how smart DD (just 21 months) is but I think it's because she is a talker and loves reading.

When does it become apparent that your child isn't a genius?

I start parenting with the assumption my children will be bright but average, and it's OK with me. Look around you. It doesn't take a genius or a gifted person to succeed. It's much better to be just bright with great people skills and work ethic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone thinks their toddler is brilliant. And I am not different. DH is quite smart but I am of average intelligence and I understand that recent studies conclude that the children get the mother's IQ. I was hungry a lot as a child (raised in Russia until I was seven) so maybe that had an effect on my IQ - but I am definitely average. Other people comment on how smart DD (just 21 months) is but I think it's because she is a talker and loves reading.

When does it become apparent that your child isn't a genius?

Fascinating. Is that true? Source?

[Anonymous]

I'm perfectly average and I think the kids are too. I went to a reasonably good college, am happily married, do well at at work. I have a friend with two genius children (out of 5) and frankly I feel like it's a lot of work - challenges in keeping them challenged, applying to various schools and programs to make sure they reach full potential, challenges socializing because they're by far the youngest in their classes and programs... I don't really wish this for my kids.