I'm mortified - boss reprimanded me for dress too short

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She did not "reprimand" you.

She quietly and privately told you about a mistake you made that you need to not repeat in the future.

Exactly, sounds like she handled it pretty tactfully. Treat it as lesson learned, move forward.

FYI: we all make mistakes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't worry about it, OP. She wasn't judging, just sharing information that she would like to know herself.

I've had to do this sort of thing for female subordinates from time to time. It's hard to bring it up, even discreetly, because while you want to value and encourage individualism, you also don't want your staff to have to deal with the embarrassment of office gossip.

Or being called in HR.

[Anonymous]

She handled it well. Lesson learned.

I have to get on a male employee of mine for not buttoning the top few buttons on his shirts.

[Anonymous]

OP, be grateful. It was an oversight on your part and a standard to maintain for your future.

[Anonymous]

eh, I'd be mortified too, OP. it sounds like you think the boss is right? in which case, just take it as a kindly meant, discrete bit of advice, adjust accordingly, and worry no more. your boss likely won't, assuming the problem doesn't come up again.

it's another matter, I suppose, if the boss were truly being ridiculous. FWIW, I turned down a job offer once because of a newly imposed dress code. (for women, skirt suits only and the skirts have to touch the knee.) Detailed restrictions on my attire are a nonstarter.

If you feel it was neither obviously problematic attire nor a completely ridiculous piece of advice, I would assume it was kindly meant, adjust accordingly even if you think she was ultimately wrong, and use it to think about what kind of boss you want to be one day.

[Anonymous]

So, how short was it?

[Anonymous]

I wear a lot of V neck and wrap dresses and tops. I've started making modesty shields out of old hand towels that were my grandmas. I just cut them in half, iron them with starch, and pin them to my bra straps so they form a snug shield across the chest area. So pretty and much cooler than camisoles. I don't wear tight or short skirts. They are uncomfortable and tend to send a message I don't want to send.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Frankly any female boss that says that has decided to target you. Let me guess, you are above-average in looks and definitely more attractive than your boss?

Ha! This is definitely a guy commenting. Maybe they'll have a pillow fight next, right?

[Anonymous]

Report her to HR. What she did is unethical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Report her to HR. What she did is unethical.

Really?
If you can't bend over your skirt is too short. If your cleavage is showing the neckline is too low. Same rules apply to guys, except trousers that show your junk, shirts showing chest hair and visible tattoos are out.
If you can't abide these rules get another job, preferably as a cocktail waitress or construction worker.

[Anonymous]

My former office had a code for this. A blank post it left on your chair meant wardrobe alert. No need for awkward conversation. Even bosses with offices got flagged occasionally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Frankly any female boss that says that has decided to target you. Let me guess, you are above-average in looks and definitely more attractive than your boss?

Or has had the attire pointed out to her by one of her superiors and was told to address the problem or got a call from HR that there had been complaints or was asked to do so by a man who did not feel comfortable talking to the young lady about it...

I work in a conservative-dress environment and people of all stripes care about things like a too-short skirt because it could reflect poorly to clients. I was also asked once to counsel a young man about ensuring the back of his shirt was consistently tucked in. Very few people like criticizing the way someone looks or is dressed. It's awkward for everyone but is, in some cases, unavoidable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Report her to HR. What she did is unethical.

Lol no. If you report her to HR, YOU will look bad. Especially if your company has a WRITTEN policy against very revealing clothing, which it probably does.

In fact, HR might have TOLD your boss to tell you, which she did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My former office had a code for this. A blank post it left on your chair meant wardrobe alert. No need for awkward conversation. Even bosses with offices got flagged occasionally.

Then how would you know what the faux pas was?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see women all the time on the metro or their way to work that have on short skits that are just fine in the front, but way too short in the back. The problem is that, if you have any booty at all, the skirt is going to be a couple inches shorter in the back. Particularly if it's a cheaper brand skirt where they just cut it the same length all the way around because that's cheaper and easier. I'm sure the women have no idea that you can see their butts or the top of their thighs, in all their dimpled glory, when they are walking down the street. I always want to say something, but think most people wouldn't take it well, so don't.

So ladies, please do a back check when you're leaving the house -- especially with a new skirt!

I've got a flat chest and I always do a lean over test for all my shirts. I usually end up wearing a tank top under most of them, because it's so hard to find one that doesn't hang at least a little when I lean forward.

I was behind a youngish woman on the escalator the other morning as she walked up it. She was wearing a very short flippy skirt and no underwear. I could see her entire butt, crack, everything. I didn't know whether to say anything; I mean, surely she knows and feels the breeze back there!