I'm mortified - boss reprimanded me for dress too short

[Anonymous]

I once wore a dress I just bought that I thought was work appropriate - and I thought it was really cute, and had a flippy skirt. I was climbing the stairs to my office when I was struck by a strong breeze, and realized the skirt was a little TOO flippy, and I'm pretty sure I fully flashed my (female) boss. Lesson learned, and I never wore that dress to work again (and if I wear it casually, I usually wear it with leggings just in case).

[Anonymous]

I am male, and ran into this issue with a young female employee. I did not want to bring it up (her bending over made me aware of her preferences in undergarments).

I could not tell her; instead, I asked a female colleague to talk to her. Turns out the young woman had no idea what was appropriate. She was trying to dress nice. Problem averted.

[Anonymous]

Something like that happened to me. I was wearing a wrap-style knit top that looked fine in the mirror. I didn't realize that when I leaned over, it totally showed my chest. A female supervisor told me. I was so embarrassed, but better to know than not to! I had a safety pin in my purse, so I pinned the neck opening for the rest of the day.

[Anonymous]

I see women all the time on the metro or their way to work that have on short skits that are just fine in the front, but way too short in the back. The problem is that, if you have any booty at all, the skirt is going to be a couple inches shorter in the back. Particularly if it's a cheaper brand skirt where they just cut it the same length all the way around because that's cheaper and easier. I'm sure the women have no idea that you can see their butts or the top of their thighs, in all their dimpled glory, when they are walking down the street. I always want to say something, but think most people wouldn't take it well, so don't.

So ladies, please do a back check when you're leaving the house -- especially with a new skirt!

I've got a flat chest and I always do a lean over test for all my shirts. I usually end up wearing a tank top under most of them, because it's so hard to find one that doesn't hang at least a little when I lean forward.

[Anonymous]

I do management trainings, and this question comes up all the time. Many bosses are looking for a kind and discrete way to tell subordinates that their clothing is inappropriately revealing. It's very awkward for them. This is what I tell them:

1. Do it privately. Do not embarrass the employee in front of co-workers.
2. Don't make a joke about it. Be straight and to the point. A joke is likely to be misunderstood, and possibly misinterpreted as harassment.
3. Don't be discriminatory about it. If a man is wearing a shirt that's too open on top, or shorts that are too short, you need to tell him as well. (That seems to only be an issue for people that work outdoors, though.)

[Anonymous]

You may want to try kneeling instead of bending over. I wear skirts/dresses on the time & know not to bend over in them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree she did you a favor. Sorry it happened but glad she told you!

I am 5' 9" and can't wear most dresses from "mall brands" like Banana and Ann Taylor. Last year's midi cuts often hit me about the knee.

+1

[Anonymous]

This happened to me years ago, but it was an older male boss, and yes, in retrospect, my dress was too short. I know that he was honestly trying to help me out so that I would not embarrass myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You may want to try kneeling instead of bending over. I wear skirts/dresses on the time & know not to bend over in them

+1

I've perfected the "bunny dip": a deep squat with the knees pressed together so nothing shows.

[Anonymous]

I once had to talk to an employee about her shirts. She wore loose scoop necks or vnecks and anytime she bent over you could see straight down her shirt. Unfortunately, with her job, she was leaning over a lot in front of patients.

I'm sure she was mortified when I had to say something. I was equally as mortified.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think she handled it just fine - she didn't embarrass you in front of colleagues. Better she tell you than for you to wear it again and have others remarking about how they can see your underwear.

"Also, Larla, have you considered waxing? The bushes are growing over the fence if you know what I mean."

[Anonymous]

This happened to me once. Unfortunately for me I had put on weight but was in denial about it, but it had caused the dress to become shorter on me. My boss made a comment to a coworker (and friend) of mine, who then told me about it. That was awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you thank her? I hope so. Don't wear that dress again.

I see some teachers at my kids' elementary wearing too short dresses, year after year. Apparently it doesn't bother the Principal, but it bothers me! It's not that we can see their underwear while they're walking, but still... WAY above the knee is not flattering for overweight women who need to bend and squat.

I'm a teacher and agree that teachers should not wear revealing clothes at all. However, you're a jerk for implying that she can't wear it because she is overweight (which describes most of America anyway).

[Anonymous]

Don't worry about it, OP. She wasn't judging, just sharing information that she would like to know herself.

I've had to do this sort of thing for female subordinates from time to time. It's hard to bring it up, even discreetly, because while you want to value and encourage individualism, you also don't want your staff to have to deal with the embarrassment of office gossip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Frankly any female boss that says that has decided to target you. Let me guess, you are above-average in looks and definitely more attractive than your boss?

Wow, you pout way too much stock in looks. Newsflash: not everyone cares how pretty someone is.

It's all in context, there is such thing as "mean girls" at work and some female bosses are definitely guilty of it.

Fixed that for you.

most