Adult son leaving for two years in Peace Corps. How to get him to pack up his stuff?

[Anonymous]

I have a 24 year old in my bonus room too, get yourself organized with equipment and as soon as he splits do it yourself, and hope he grows up in the ensuing two years.
You can't kick his ass, so just wait it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is your son. Doesn't he have a room in your house?

Ugh, he's 24.

Really? I'm 44 and I have a room at my parents' house. Of course they use it for a guest room too, but the closet is still filled with childhood stuff and everyone refers to it as my room (and my brother's room is referred to as my brother's and has his stuff; it still has his twin bed).

Dude, that is f'd up. Do your parents a favor and throw out whatever 40-year-old shit is taking up their closets.

I'm in the - that's completely weird camp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is your son. Doesn't he have a room in your house?

Ugh, he's 24.

Really? I'm 44 and I have a room at my parents' house. Of course they use it for a guest room too, but the closet is still filled with childhood stuff and everyone refers to it as my room (and my brother's room is referred to as my brother's and has his stuff; it still has his twin bed).

Same. My brother, too. My room is used as an exercise room, too, and my mom's extra closet space. But I still have a lot of my old things in there. I guess I should think about clearing them out!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is such a cold thread.

Open a bottle of wine, grab him a beer, go in the room with a box and a trash bag. Go ever each item and say, keep, donate or toss.

How much fun would it be to see all his old stuff.

We do this every year at the end of the school year... keep or toss. for clothers, keep, donate or toss. Because of this I got the opportunity to see cool art work I never saw and read a paper or two that were pretty good. (nothing amazing, but gave me some insight)

He is not moving out he is going away for 2 years.... and good for him volunteering for the Peace Corp, giving 27 months of his life.

This is the approach I'd take - and I'm a returned Peace Corps Volunteer. He's not going to remember/want 90% of the shit he's got in there when he gets back from his service.

[Anonymous]

My parents told us to get the rest of our stuff or they would donate it and they did. I don't see anything wrong with getting rid of what is left behind.

[Anonymous]

Just help him. He's probably overwhelmed with the thought of leaving for two years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just get him some boxes and ask him to box up his stuff. Have one marked "donate," so he can get rid of anything he doesn't want while he's doing it.

Exactly. Make it simple by having the boxes all assembled and lined up. Offer to lend a hand. Some things like those high school papers can just go without a second thought!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Pack up what you want me to save for you. Everything else goes to Goodwill on July 7."

This! Easy.
Wow.

Exactly! This and DONE.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is your son. Doesn't he have a room in your house?

He's 24!

[Anonymous]

My kids will always have a room to stay in wherever DH and I land. Whether it has their old stuff in it is entirely a different matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I need you to pack up your stuff. There are boxes, markers, and packing tape over there. Either you do it yourself by X date, or the trash bags come out. Your choice."

Cold as s**t. You won't have much of a relationship with your kid (and grandchildren) going forward.
There's absolutely no need to be an a-hole about it, especially when you won't see your kid for two years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is such a cold thread.

Open a bottle of wine, grab him a beer, go in the room with a box and a trash bag. Go ever each item and say, keep, donate or toss.

How much fun would it be to see all his old stuff.

We do this every year at the end of the school year... keep or toss. for clothers, keep, donate or toss. Because of this I got the opportunity to see cool art work I never saw and read a paper or two that were pretty good. (nothing amazing, but gave me some insight)

He is not moving out he is going away for 2 years.... and good for him volunteering for the Peace Corp, giving 27 months of his life.

Yes! This is the way to do it if you want to maintain a good relationship with him. But it still gets the job done.

This isn't a case of arrested development, people. This young man is living abroad for two years in the peace corp,
It's not like he's 44 - he's only 24 and in a period of transition, there is no indication that he intends to move back home upon his return.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 24 year old in my bonus room too, get yourself organized with equipment and as soon as he splits do it yourself, and hope he grows up in the ensuing two years.
You can't kick his ass, so just wait it out.

Way to teach your child responsibility. There is a reason you have your child in your bonus room.

[Anonymous]

What cracks me up about this post is that my parents are cleaning the crap out if their 3000 sq. Foot house and giving me boxes and boxes of my grandmother's China and knick knacks from family members I never even met. In fact i even got a box of my sisters stuff for some reason. We live in an 1800 as ft. House and my mother told me she was relieved to get it all out of her house because her house is so small. Remember this OP. Your kids are probably only going to want select things before you die. Don't unload your crap on them because you are sick of having it in your house. In fact, maybe you should start giving all that stuff away when you dump your sons stuff at goodwill.

[Anonymous]

OP, did you even ask him to clear out the bonus room? What did he say?