Mom Needs to Power Down Those Rotirs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pay the fifty dollars for your kid to move in early a few days. You all stay in a nearby (nice) hotel and let your wife help set up the dorm room but let your DD sleep in the dorm if she wants. Go out to lunch with your DD. This will set up an appropriate dynamic for visits in the future. You may not break that umbilical cord, but you can stretch it pretty thin.

+1

It will make the kid feel much happier too. Sounds like they are close. You are lucky to have such a great mom as a wife

Lucky? No, the mom is insane. Nothing lucky about having an overbearing smother.

[Anonymous]

I have an SIL who will be the same way when her DD goes to college in the fall. She rarely lets her DD make her own decisions about anything (clothes etc.) and probably did her homework in HS. She and her husband lives 2000 miles apart (long story) so she will be alone and doesn't work. I'm sure she will be on the phone with her daughter multiple times a day and will find every excuse to drive four hours to see her. Too many parents have lived their lives through their children and when the child leaves they have nothing.

[Anonymous]

I'm surprised you are all saying bus service didn't exist. I'm under 30 and we had a charter bus that ran from my large public university to my parent's city. It was like $50 and ran on Fridays and then returned on Sundays. I know there were other charter buses that went to the other major universities too.

I assume charters exist up here too because I've taken Mega bus everywhere. I took a Greyhound from DC to Penn State once.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Sounds like your DW is being facetious and you are being a drama queen about it. Also, sending someone off on a bus to college sounds like it would be fairly traumatic and unpleasant for the kid, IMO.

Huh? That's what many parents did back in the day (like 15 years ago).

Huh. When I went to college 10 years ago I'm sure glad my parents didn't shove me on a Greyhound. I'm glad they helped me move in, which is what the vast majority of parents do.

How the heck are you going to send a kid to college on a bus? All that stuff that you have to bring with you to set up your room....good grief. Can you imagine traveling with all of that on a danged bus? Sheets, towels, blanket, a year's worth of clothes/shoes, coat, jacket, toiletries, basic school supplies....and that's just the bare minimum.

I hate to tell you this but there are a lot of kids that don't come from families that can afford to take a week off to move their kids into college. I went to Univ. of Michigan in the 80s and remember some rich kids who arrived with families, furniture, cars and wardrobes and other (less wealthy) kids who came alone on a bus with the bare essentials. They all survived.

This ain't the 80s anymore, dude. BTW, what "bus" even goes directly to a school? I mean, how far are we talking? Is this a cross country bus or a city bus...

I went to a state school back in the 80's. No one. And I mean NO ONE showed up with just a duffel bag and a comb....and on a bus no less. Even poor people wear clothes, bring sheets, towels, school supplies and a computer if their degree requires it. Dorm rooms tend to be tiny so even the wealthy kids were limited as to what they could bring. I don't recall ever seeing a kid bring a wardrobe into their dorm room (where would they put it??).

I am also fascinated by the idea of these buses that are apparently crossing the country and depositing people at their college. Where I went to college, which was a pretty cushy private school, we had one dumpy bus that ran only during limited business hours and took you in a loop about a mile away, to public transit, and left. How awesome would it have been if there was some kind of magical schoolbus stopping state to state and picking up kids, dorm equipment in tow, and depositing them at their university? Sign me the hell up.

Heck, yeah. Especially for holiday breaks. Just let bus service transport their azzes to/from school.

Huh. I took the train or bus from Ann Arbor to Detroit at break. Plenty of kids from Chicago did the same, and plenty did a ride share. Sadly, OP, my professor friends at Michigan, Stanford, Yale and MIT have reported similar parent stories. DW needs to unclench. Sounds like technological conveniences have allowed her to braid a strong leash on your DD. spend a night at a nearby hotel for one night with DW, have breakfast with DD in the morning, and let her spread her wings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like your DW is being facetious and you are being a drama queen about it. Also, sending someone off on a bus to college sounds like it would be fairly traumatic and unpleasant for the kid, IMO.

Huh? That's what many parents did back in the day (like 15 years ago).

Huh. When I went to college 10 years ago I'm sure glad my parents didn't shove me on a Greyhound. I'm glad they helped me move in, which is what the vast majority of parents do.

Yes, and I went 20 years ago, my mom came with me to set up my room and then left me be. There is a big range between sending someone off without help and what OP describes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like your DW is being facetious and you are being a drama queen about it. Also, sending someone off on a bus to college sounds like it would be fairly traumatic and unpleasant for the kid, IMO.

Huh? That's what many parents did back in the day (like 15 years ago).

Huh. When I went to college 10 years ago I'm sure glad my parents didn't shove me on a Greyhound. I'm glad they helped me move in, which is what the vast majority of parents do.

Yes, and I went 20 years ago, my mom came with me to set up my room and then left me be. There is a big range between sending someone off without help and what OP describes.

I'm the PP. my roommate and I (both women) went to school without our parents, who came to visit after we'd settled in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pay the fifty dollars for your kid to move in early a few days. You all stay in a nearby (nice) hotel and let your wife help set up the dorm room but let your DD sleep in the dorm if she wants. Go out to lunch with your DD. This will set up an appropriate dynamic for visits in the future. You may not break that umbilical cord, but you can stretch it pretty thin.

+1

It will make the kid feel much happier too. Sounds like they are close. You are lucky to have such a great mom as a wife

Or maybe DD is desperate and ready to get away from an overbearing, overprotective mom and have space to breathe and be herself.

I am OP and yes, this is more the case. DD can't go about her daily business w/o Mom constantly checking in. She dies the same with me and it's annoying.

And us, when my brother went to West Point he was put on a bus and that was that!

The academies are different than regular college. You're not bringing sheets and towels and lamps; everything down to underwear is issued to you so it's more like reporting to boot camp where kids bring the clothes on their back, a duffel bag w a few pics for when there homesick, a phone charger, and maybe a bible.

[Anonymous]

We always drove our kids to college the beginning of freshmen year and after that they flew or drove with friends. One daughter had a car at school 800 miles away and had no one to ride with so my DH had the brilliant idea of flying her BF to the school so he could drive back with her. A win for Dad (he didn't have to do it) and a win for the BF. She married the BF!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous[b wrote:]Does your DW work?[/b]

yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We always drove our kids to college the beginning of freshmen year and after that they flew or drove with friends. One daughter had a car at school 800 miles away and had no one to ride with so my DH had the brilliant idea of flying her BF to the school so he could drive back with her. A win for Dad (he didn't have to do it) and a win for the BF. She married the BF!

That's sweet!

[Anonymous]

Lots of overprotective Moms on this site who cannot stomach the idead that the little ones are grown up and don't need them ALL THE TIME!

[Anonymous]

This unhealthy attitude of her mother is one reason DD is going away to college

No, that's not it ~ adults go away to college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pay the fifty dollars for your kid to move in early a few days. You all stay in a nearby (nice) hotel and let your wife help set up the dorm room but let your DD sleep in the dorm if she wants. Go out to lunch with your DD. This will set up an appropriate dynamic for visits in the future. You may not break that umbilical cord, but you can stretch it pretty thin.

+1

It will make the kid feel much happier too. Sounds like they are close. You are lucky to have such a great mom as a wife

Or maybe DD is desperate and ready to get away from an overbearing, overprotective mom and have space to breathe and be herself.

I am OP and yes, this is more the case. DD can't go about her daily business w/o Mom constantly checking in. She dies the same with me and it's annoying.

And us, when my brother went to West Point he was put on a bus and that was that!

Sounds like you have real contempt for her.

He probably does. I don't know any woman who meddles this much in her grown kid's life who is also a fully engaged wife in a happy marriage.

No way to speculate on what caused OPs wife to check out - it could be his fault or not at all his fault.

Signed,
A DW

[Anonymous]

Get a puppy now so DW has something else to love and care for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you mean rotors?

he means ground the chopper.