Cyber bullying laws in DC?

[Anonymous]

I would hire an attorney to work with the board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would hire an attorney to work with the board.

Idiotic and overkill.

[Anonymous]

Said the parent of a bully

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Said the parent of a bully

Good one! Except you forgot to add na na-na boo boo!

[Anonymous]

Sounds like she struck home.

[Anonymous]

May the bullies and their parents receive whatever and all they have caused others ... ... What goes around comes around.

[Anonymous]

So a group of girls was cyber bullying a girl who is going to be a new classmate this coming year? So sad, and also strange. Would think that would violate school honor code or behavior code of conduct.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - you and your child are in an awful, unfair situation - I think we can all agree on that.

I understand feeling like the school isn't doing anything, and wanting to see out alternate means to punish the offenders, such as a criminal complaint or lawsuit. Based on what you've described, however, I can't imagine it's going to meet the legal definition of stalking. I'm guessing the meanness and threats are more along the line of telling your child she is awful, a loser, will have no friends, is a slut, that they'll make sure no one else talks to her at school, etc.. Really awful stuff, but not what the stalking law deals with. I think the only way the law will help is if they've crossed over into actual, believable physical threats, which isn't really the M.O. of the type of bullies you're describing - they manage to be awful and make peers lives miserable in other ways.

I think you need to think about what you'd like too see happen and what outcomes you and your child can live and be happy with. It sounds like your ideal situation would be the bullies expelled and your daughter attending the school as planned. I don't think this is likely, however, and I'm not sure it would be the resolution you're looking for, as the bullies are likely popular (they usually are, as this sort of bullying requires a following to really be successful - it doesn't hold much sway if the least popular child in the class tells others not to be someone's friend). If the bullies are expelled and tell classmates that it's your child's fault, that means she is starting school knows as the kid who got popular peers kicked out. Not fair, but likely what would happen.

Which brings us to what you and your child can live with. How does she feel about attending the school if the bullies are still there? Are there things the school could do to make this a reasonable solution? What if they made sure they never had overlapping classes? What is they did extra things to help your child develop a social network at the school separate from the bullies before school started? If attending the school with the bullies is a no-go for your family, is there another school that would be acceptable? If so, perhaps you can push the school to help your child get a place there for next year. In a situation like this the school may be able to pull strings with another school to get an acceptance outside the normal process.

I know none of this is satisfying and none if it is likely what you want - you want to undo what's been done and make the new school the great experience you and your child were anticipating. Good luck to you all moving forward.

I think this sounds like really solid, practical and thoughtful advice. But it doesn't make me happy or feel fair. But I guess that's your point, life isn't fair and try to make lemonade from the lemons. You just wish the school could grasp the magnitude of what has been happening to cause this climax and protect the victim. Instead they are afraid of getting sued by the parents of the bullies who have hired attorneys to "bully" the school. The irony is astounding. There may only be resolution in this case, and not justice. If the schools where some of the bullies are going don't find out, I fear there will be many more victims in their new schools...much like the pedophilic priests who, instead of being held accountable, were just passed along to do more harm. These girls are like a cancer that is malignant and metastasizing...their parents laying a guilded path for them to spread their disease.

The board needs to wake up and realize that this administration is profoundly weak and negligent. They need new leadership who are not afraid to stand up to these "established" families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So a group of girls was cyber bullying a girl who is going to be a new classmate this coming year? So sad, and also strange. Would think that would violate school honor code or behavior code of conduct.

I think what is getting lost here is that nothing is quite so simple as it seems at first glance. For the sake of argument, let's assume the "bullies" in this case were a group of middle school girls on a private group text. Let's assume the girls in the private group text commented on the photos the victim ("V" for short) posted on her social media and a few of them did make very mean comments (let's assume for argument's sake that V's photos were clearly attention seeking). However, let's also assume the girls from the private group text never texted V directly and never posted any negative comments on V's social media in any way. The twist comes when one of the girls from the group text screenshot the texts and sent them to one of V's current classmates. After that V and her parents were made aware of the comments and demanded the school punish all the girls who were involved in the private group text regardless of whether they commented or not. So were the girls really bullying V when they never contacted V directly and were talking on a private group text? Or were they just gossiping like typical teens (which was mean, but not atypical)? The only difference from when we were teens is that their gossip was in texts that could be screenshot versus talk that could just be conveyed verbally. I'm sure the parents of the girls in the group text are not happy with their daughters' mean comments, but it seems understandable that they would not consider this bullying since the girls never intended for V to know they were talking about her and certainly never reached out to V directly with mean comments or threats. Even so, the school is taking action to punish these girls, which the girls' parents do not think is fair in this case. Now the girl who screenshot and sent the texts to V's current classmate ... I think she could legitimately be called a bully for doing that.

[Anonymous]

If the girls were gathering in a group environment and talking in a nasty manner about a classmate (upcoming) then they should be punished. Once you get in a group txt you leave yourself open. These girls sound awful and no this is not acceptable behavior.

[Anonymous]

I think what is getting lost here is that nothing is quite so simple as it seems at first glance. For the sake of argument, let's assume the "bullies" in this case were a group of middle school girls on a private group text. Let's assume the girls in the private group text commented on the photos the victim ("V" for short) posted on her social media and a few of them did make very mean comments (let's assume for argument's sake that V's photos were clearly attention seeking). However, let's also assume the girls from the private group text never texted V directly and never posted any negative comments on V's social media in any way. The twist comes when one of the girls from the group text screenshot the texts and sent them to one of V's current classmates. After that V and her parents were made aware of the comments and demanded the school punish all the girls who were involved in the private group text regardless of whether they commented or not. So were the girls really bullying V when they never contacted V directly and were talking on a private group text? Or were they just gossiping like typical teens (which was mean, but not atypical)? The only difference from when we were teens is that their gossip was in texts that could be screenshot versus talk that could just be conveyed verbally. I'm sure the parents of the girls in the group text are not happy with their daughters' mean comments, but it seems understandable that they would not consider this bullying since the girls never intended for V to know they were talking about her and certainly never reached out to V directly with mean comments or threats. Even so, the school is taking action to punish these girls, which the girls' parents do not think is fair in this case. Now the girl who screenshot and sent the texts to V's current classmate ... I think she could legitimately be called a bully for doing that.

Sounds similar to the Harvard private group chat scenario that recently resulted in 10 students having their admissions revoked. Why not let the school handle this without parental influence/threat? It doesn't matter if the private texts were meant to be private, they ended up in public. Any student who violated the honor code should be held accountable by the school and the parents should let their children learn something from this mistake.

[Anonymous]

Mean girls - I thought an elite school who prides itself for emphasizing on leadership, public service, and character cultivation would not produce such graduates. I am so naive and disappointed. By self-selection, more kind girls will be less likely to attend such a school, more mean-spirited girls would flourish there. Hence a vicious cycle.

Let's see how all of this evolve...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the girls were gathering in a group environment and talking in a nasty manner about a classmate (upcoming) then they should be punished. Once you get in a group txt you leave yourself open. These girls sound awful and no this is not acceptable behavior.

So using this logic if someone emails or texts more than one person, then they should expect no privacy whatsoever? God help us all then.

[Anonymous]

So you're saying that If every single one of your texts or emails that you thought were private were made public without your intention or consent, then you should be punished for what you said? Is there seriously anyone on this board who has never said anything but positive things EVER on their texts or emails? Using this logic, then why aren't all gossipers (including those of us on the site) exposed and punished? We have an expectation of privacy here on this group forum just like the girls did on their group text. But what if Jeff could find out our identities and report us? Do you think that would be fair?

Using similar logic, the ACLU opposes Harvard's recent actions and claims that it violates free speech.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mean girls - I thought an elite school who prides itself for emphasizing on leadership, public service, and character cultivation would not produce such graduates. I am so naive and disappointed. By self-selection, more kind girls will be less likely to attend such a school, more mean-spirited girls would flourish there. Hence a vicious cycle.

Let's see how all of this evolve...

Yes, you do sound really naive. Good luck when you have a teenager. I think you'll probably look back with some sheepishness at how self-righteous you sound right now.