Anyone Convince DH to Get Vasectomy

[Anonymous]

If it gives you hope OP, when I first raised the idea with DH he was resistant like yours. I didn't push further and a year later he came to me on his own and said it wasn't fair for me to be on BC forever so he'd decided to go ahead and get it done. And that was that. Maybe it would help to give DH some time to think it through on his own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would divorce over this. I'm not kidding.

Well, and he would go off and get married and have new kids with his new young wife - which is the real reason men don't do this. They don't want to give up their fertility which can last into their 70's and maybe beyond.

I just found out the my DH was a sperm donor in grad school. As he is a 6'1" tall athletic PhD I assume my kids have siblings (some of them with attitude problems) running around all over Northern Virginia. Men do value their fertility whether they admit it or not.

LOL, I was a sperm donor. I did not value my fertility. I valued the thousands of dollars they paid me to spank off into a jar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would go ahead and get my tubes tied.

And your DH is an ass.

OP here. That is what it is looking like. I brought it up again this morning, and DH pretty much blamed me for even raising it and not being eligible for "easier birth control options." I am pretty annoyed, since it wasn't exactly my idea to have permanent health problems (three vascular surgeries, an above average blood clot risk, and the need to take blood thinners) from bearing our children.

I also think that, putting those issues aside entirely, I did 10+ years of switching from brand to brand of the pill for one that didn't lead to breakthrough bleeding, followed by 5 years that involved 6 IUIs, 3 IVF cycles, and a bunch of FETs. When I said as much, he said "you don't even understand how selfish you sound right now."

Well, you married and procreated with the wrong man. It's a little late to just be realizing that.
How old are you now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would divorce over this. I'm not kidding.

Well, and he would go off and get married and have new kids with his new young wife - which is the real reason men don't do this. They don't want to give up their fertility which can last into their 70's and maybe beyond.

Maybe they just don't want to have surgery - and indeed, would rather divorce you than have surgery that could kill him.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-513726/How-vasectomy-operation-killed-husband.html

Yeah it's low risk, but the risk is ZERO if you don't have the surgery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would divorce over this. I'm not kidding.

Well, and he would go off and get married and have new kids with his new young wife - which is the real reason men don't do this. They don't want to give up their fertility which can last into their 70's and maybe beyond.

I just found out the my DH was a sperm donor in grad school. As he is a 6'1" tall athletic PhD I assume my kids have siblings (some of them with attitude problems) running around all over Northern Virginia. Men do value their fertility whether they admit it or not.

LOL, I was a sperm donor. I did not value my fertility. I valued the thousands of dollars they paid me to spank off into a jar.

I don't think he got that much money as he was barely getting by in graduate school housing and he had to drive 35 miles each way to do it.
In the back of guys' minds is 'I'm valuable - people want to have my kids' - whether you realize it or not.

Were you a popular donor? My DH had perfect SAT scores besides the PhD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would any man not do it? I wanted to be sure we weren't having any more kids so I'm the one that brought it up. Incredibly easy procedure. Had mine done on a Friday, took it easy all weekend, ran a half marathon on Monday. Not one problem, absolutely no swelling and no tenderness.

"I don't want to" is sufficient reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would divorce over this. I'm not kidding.

Well, and he would go off and get married and have new kids with his new young wife - which is the real reason men don't do this. They don't want to give up their fertility which can last into their 70's and maybe beyond.

I just found out the my DH was a sperm donor in grad school. As he is a 6'1" tall athletic PhD I assume my kids have siblings (some of them with attitude problems) running around all over Northern Virginia. Men do value their fertility whether they admit it or not.

LOL, I was a sperm donor. I did not value my fertility. I valued the thousands of dollars they paid me to spank off into a jar.

I don't think he got that much money as he was barely getting by in graduate school housing and he had to drive 35 miles each way to do it.
In the back of guys' minds is 'I'm valuable - people want to have my kids' - whether you realize it or not.

Were you a popular donor? My DH had perfect SAT scores besides the PhD.

Sorry - didn't mean to hijack the thread. I just think that men value their fertility greatly (and their options) they just don't realize it or speak about these things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:jesus some of you ladies really are married to selfish dicks. Cut of sex, cold turkey. All sexual activity. His choice.

+1. Options are vasectomy or no sex. His choice.

You mean no sex with her. Sex can be had other places

Bingo. His options are, vasectomy or wife gets to go have sex with other men who have had vasectomies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:had one child with wife at age 25. at 27 got snipped. Was not covered by health care. best $700 I ever spent.

I drove home a stick shift pickup truck from my vasectomy. I did it on a Friday on memorial day weekend.

I was in and out of the office in about an hour.

back to work on Tuesday.

yeas i was tender for about a week. After 2 months I was shooting blanks.

bought many brownie points with DW Sex is fairly spontaneous the only reason to wear a condom now is just to contain the mess

You were young and 10-15 years away from being mature enough to make that decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would any man not do it? I wanted to be sure we weren't having any more kids so I'm the one that brought it up. Incredibly easy procedure. Had mine done on a Friday, took it easy all weekend, ran a half marathon on Monday. Not one problem, absolutely no swelling and no tenderness.

"I don't want to" is sufficient reason.

"I don't want to" would definitely be deemed sufficient reason by DCUM for any female to refuse anything, so I don't see the problem with him simply not wanting to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would go ahead and get my tubes tied.

And your DH is an ass.

OP here. That is what it is looking like. I brought it up again this morning, and DH pretty much blamed me for even raising it and not being eligible for "easier birth control options." I am pretty annoyed, since it wasn't exactly my idea to have permanent health problems (three vascular surgeries, an above average blood clot risk, and the need to take blood thinners) from bearing our children.

I also think that, putting those issues aside entirely, I did 10+ years of switching from brand to brand of the pill for one that didn't lead to breakthrough bleeding, followed by 5 years that involved 6 IUIs, 3 IVF cycles, and a bunch of FETs. When I said as much, he said "you don't even understand how selfish you sound right now."

I would divorce over this. He apparently has NO regard to your health, and if he doesn't see this, why do you want to stay married to him.

[Anonymous]

I certainly would not be having sex any longer with a man who held my well-being in such low regard. If he went and got it elsewhere, so be it, and welcome to every other weekend and summers off for me!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would divorce over this. I'm not kidding.

Well, and he would go off and get married and have new kids with his new young wife - which is the real reason men don't do this. They don't want to give up their fertility which can last into their 70's and maybe beyond.

they want to optionality to have more children with their next wife. just in case of divorce. just in case, of course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would divorce over this. I'm not kidding.

Well, and he would go off and get married and have new kids with his new young wife - which is the real reason men don't do this. They don't want to give up their fertility which can last into their 70's and maybe beyond.

Maybe they just don't want to have surgery - and indeed, would rather divorce you than have surgery that could kill him.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-513726/How-vasectomy-operation-killed-husband.html

Yeah it's low risk, but the risk is ZERO if you don't have the surgery.

As compared to the health risks for OP to undergo actual surgery for tubal ligation (not just a little dr office snippy snippy) with her known health risks or to have another child against medical advice?

Such pussies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just found out the my DH was a sperm donor in grad school. As he is a 6'1" tall athletic PhD I assume my kids have siblings (some of them with attitude problems) running around all over Northern Virginia. Men do value their fertility whether they admit it or not.

You just found out? Did that not completely weird you out?