Fiancee lied about being divorced

[Anonymous]

ZachF wrote:You have to decide if you can deal with a life of lies from her. She told you how her thought process works. When faced with telling you something difficult, she would rather lie and the pattern continues. Once she lies she fears telling the truth so more lies are needed to cover the first big lie. And so it goes. BTDT. You may never know what other lies she has told you but you would be foolish to believe that this is the only one.

+ I wonder what else she'll lie about? I'm guessing finances and debt......

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

ZachF wrote:You have to decide if you can deal with a life of lies from her. She told you how her thought process works. When faced with telling you something difficult, she would rather lie and the pattern continues. Once she lies she fears telling the truth so more lies are needed to cover the first big lie. And so it goes. BTDT. You may never know what other lies she has told you but you would be foolish to believe that this is the only one.

+ I wonder what else she'll lie about? I'm guessing finances and debt......

I also agree. Expect her to lie about serious, important things in the future, too. Can you handle that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here, thanks for all the comments.

To be fair, we were planning to elope so there are no real "wedding plans" that need to be cancelled should the date change. I think she just thought the paperwork would go through without any problems. Her apartment lease is up soon so we were planning to get married then move her into my apartment.

I have never lied to her about anything, even when it would have been easier to. So that really hurts.

She seems a bit dim?

[Anonymous]

You can do better.

[Anonymous]

OP, best of luck to you buddy. I know your heart is breaking. Keep strong. If this ends, somewhere is a great woman you just haven't met yet!

[Anonymous]

I'm with everyone who says to break it off. It's not so much that the one issue is unforgivable - it's more that she keeps bad secrets and makes major decisions solo. Marriages need to be an "us" thing for life decisions and plans. She has shown you that her conscience can be flexible in difficult situations. The question it is impossible not to face with someone like this is "what else don't I know?"

[Anonymous]

I was still married to DW#1 when current DW and I started dating. The divorce had been filed, but not yet finalized. I live in fear that she will oneday find out.

[Anonymous]

No one in a relationship lies just "once."

Don't fall for this misconception OP!

Or you will regret it in the future.

A lie is a lie, no matter what.
And a liar is a liar no matter how she walks or talks....