Adults who over-celebrate their birthdays?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the year preceding her 50th birthday, my sister in law planned a celebration on the 16th of every month for 11 months, culminating in her big 5-0 party. I could not believe it. I attended one thing because it was a backyard BBQ but I was so turned off by her "whole year of celebrating me."

By the time she turned 50, I was like "who cares".

Wow! Hahaha! She sounds like a piece of work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On my thirty-fourth birthday, I was recovering from a serious illness after weeks of being touch and go in the hospital. I celebrate lots of little things all the time now. My friends and family remember that time and are happy I'm here to celebrate with them. Anyone who wants to rain on my parade probably wouldn't be invited in the first place.

I also celebrate things like when I re-learned to ride a bike. I called a friend, told her about my achievement, and we went out for dessert and a drink. I throw parties for minor holidays and events, like derby day, or Girl Scouts anniversary with my kids' Girl Scout troop. Basically, I like to have fun and have get togethers with friends.

If it's ok to go out to dinner and drinks on some random day in August, months away from my birthday, why isn't it ok to get together with them the weekend of my birthday? I don't demand gifts, I don't post birthday craziness all over Facebook, and I'm not inviting the same people to multiple events. But I have a little celebration with my family the day of my birthday. I have a traditional outing that started in high school with an old friend and we try to do that during my birthday week. I see a different friend for dinner sometime that month. I usually try to be the one to host my book club that month and if it falls within a day or two of my birthday, I'll serve cupcakes. And if I go somewhere that has a free birthday dessert, I'm damn well gonna enjoy my free cake. I don't see the big deal.

Some of us have had life or death scares and still don't that. It must be your personality. Not criticizing, just pointing it out.

Must be. I like to have fun

But seriously, if it's ok to go out with friends for no reason, why is it wrong to go out for my birthday?

[Anonymous]

I don't mind if adults still get excited about birthdays. I think it's nice, actually. I'm sometimes a little surly about getting another year older! As long as they don't expect a ton from me - i.e. attendance at multiple events or a gift - I'm happy to celebrate birthdays. In my circle, we do a lot of birthday happy hours and nights out and it brings people out.

My birthday was a complete non-event this year, and I felt kind of sad afterward. Between a busy day at work, youth coaching and taking my kid and others to soccer practice, it was just a completely normal day and I wish it had been a little special. oh well!

[Anonymous]

My MIL does this. Extremely grating. Her children came in town and brought some takeout to her apartment, cake, balloons, etc to celebrate her birthday. She actually had the nerve to say:

"That's all? I wanted to be taken to a fancy restaurant."

I have to try very very very hard to control my eye rolling around her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whatever, lots of folks didn't make it see another year and I will celebrate every year that I am able to mark living in this world. You can just live and die if that's your thing. No birthday cake for you.

Yeah, pretty much what she said. Every year, we have a big group of people for our birthdays. We feed them, ply them with booze, and have a great time. No one has complained yet or declined the invite. We also do dinner with a couple of our close couple friends.
So needy, so narcissist of ourselves to throw a party and get people together, i know. Of course, we throw several other parties throughout the year, including a Halloween party where the kids AND adults dress up. The horror, I know.

You're an adult now. Time to stop enjoying things. No more parties (except for your kids) or dressing up. No more Halloween. Time to wear Dockers every day.

Ok, this was sarcasm. I understand the OP's point about narcissistic celebrating (especially on social media), but I really hate the idea that adults can't have any fun outside the rigid parameters we've created. Like many PPs said, sometimes you need to celebrate.

[Anonymous]

I think it's fun, but I love any excuse to get together with friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I knew someone who had a 'birthweekend' celebration with a sleepover and planned activities for every hour of the day. It was hilarious because they made a Facebook event, and when people tried to 'gracefully' decline "Sorry, I have a dinner to go to" the birthday person would respond "but the party lasts all weekend! You can come before or after!"

They also sent a list of suggested gifts. I am not kidding about this.

I'm going to need some examples of the planned hourly activities, please and thank you. I can't wait, it sounds like a trainwreck and I want to rubber neck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know so many adults who over-celebrate their birthdays. Examples, I know someone (34) who has celebrated "birthday week" (and "birthday month!") for as long as I've known them. Like, "manicures for my birthday on Monday, drinks after work Wednesday, birthday eve dinner on Thursday, and a blowout on THE day."

Another person (50s) MUST celebrate with everyone. "Oh, you can't make it to dinner with my parents and siblings on Friday? Let's celebrate ME on Satursay then!"

Another one (40s) plans her own events! "Come to dinner for my birthday!"

Is this the epitome of needy? I like to pretend my birthday doesn't exist. It's cool if my husband and kids remembers me, but really, everyone was born. It's not some huge event. Right?

I get celebrating milestone birthdays, but really, playing up your 36th or 44th Birthday? Get over yourself.

Actually, isn't this the polite way to do it when you're older? The birthday person takes others out?

I agree. I'm not into my own birthday, but I'm not all offended when a friend or family member asks to me join them on their birthday. I think it's nice they want to include me to celebrate another year of their lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't mind if adults still get excited about birthdays. I think it's nice, actually. I'm sometimes a little surly about getting another year older! As long as they don't expect a ton from me - i.e. attendance at multiple events or a gift - I'm happy to celebrate birthdays. In my circle, we do a lot of birthday happy hours and nights out and it brings people out.

My birthday was a complete non-event this year, and I felt kind of sad afterward. Between a busy day at work, youth coaching and taking my kid and others to soccer practice, it was just a completely normal day and I wish it had been a little special. oh well!

+1

[Anonymous]

A lot of PP's here sound miserable. It's fine if you don't want to celebrate your own birthday, but don't bemoan folks enjoying their lives and celebrating another year on this earth. A lot of people won't get that chance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know so many adults who over-celebrate their birthdays. Examples, I know someone (34) who has celebrated "birthday week" (and "birthday month!") for as long as I've known them. Like, "manicures for my birthday on Monday, drinks after work Wednesday, birthday eve dinner on Thursday, and a blowout on THE day."

Another person (50s) MUST celebrate with everyone. "Oh, you can't make it to dinner with my parents and siblings on Friday? Let's celebrate ME on Satursay then!"

Another one (40s) plans her own events! "Come to dinner for my birthday!"

Is this the epitome of needy? I like to pretend my birthday doesn't exist. It's cool if my husband and kids remembers me, but really, everyone was born. It's not some huge event. Right?

I get celebrating milestone birthdays, but really, playing up your 36th or 44th Birthday? Get over yourself.

You know what? You don't want to celebrate, please stay home. You probably get excited over a big house or a luxury car or your kid's performance in sports or in a play - good for you. I have no right to rain on your parade, why do you care if in your opinion some adults "overcelebrate"? We will all be dead someday you know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know someone in their forties who does this, she is a total narcissistic woman who adores herself

So she's not your friend anyway so why are you judging her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is silly to me. I like to go to dinner with my fiancé and maybe to the local corner bar, but I don't even drink that much. One year a few friends came over and we played Cards Against Humanity. That's ideal for me. I don't like a lot of attention. The people who insist on "birthday week" and "birthday month"...all I hear when they say that is "ME ME ME ME ME ME ME"

You're an introvert. I'm a social extrovert. Looooove my birthday. Feel free to decline invitations that are not to your taste.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On my thirty-fourth birthday, I was recovering from a serious illness after weeks of being touch and go in the hospital. I celebrate lots of little things all the time now. My friends and family remember that time and are happy I'm here to celebrate with them. Anyone who wants to rain on my parade probably wouldn't be invited in the first place.

I also celebrate things like when I re-learned to ride a bike. I called a friend, told her about my achievement, and we went out for dessert and a drink. I throw parties for minor holidays and events, like derby day, or Girl Scouts anniversary with my kids' Girl Scout troop. Basically, I like to have fun and have get togethers with friends.

If it's ok to go out to dinner and drinks on some random day in August, months away from my birthday, why isn't it ok to get together with them the weekend of my birthday? I don't demand gifts, I don't post birthday craziness all over Facebook, and I'm not inviting the same people to multiple events. But I have a little celebration with my family the day of my birthday. I have a traditional outing that started in high school with an old friend and we try to do that during my birthday week. I see a different friend for dinner sometime that month. I usually try to be the one to host my book club that month and if it falls within a day or two of my birthday, I'll serve cupcakes. And if I go somewhere that has a free birthday dessert, I'm damn well gonna enjoy my free cake. I don't see the big deal.

Some of us have had life or death scares and still don't that. It must be your personality. Not criticizing, just pointing it out.

Who cares? You spend your time and money, I'm sure, in ways I don't approve of. Why bother pointing it out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is silly to me. I like to go to dinner with my fiancé and maybe to the local corner bar, but I don't even drink that much. One year a few friends came over and we played Cards Against Humanity. That's ideal for me. I don't like a lot of attention. The people who insist on "birthday week" and "birthday month"...all I hear when they say that is "ME ME ME ME ME ME ME"

You're an introvert. I'm a social extrovert. Looooove my birthday. Feel free to decline invitations that are not to your taste.

NP here, I get what you say. My extroverted husband LOVES to celebrate his birthday. Big time. Introverted me likes a small family dinner and cake. *I love celebrating bdays with close, intimate friends.