Adults who over-celebrate their birthdays?

[Anonymous]

My daughter (in her mid 30s) does this and always has, since she was a little kid! I did not encourage it, I actually have the opposite reaction to my own birthday, but there is no stopping her.

My theory is that since she loves to go out and socialize, etc. she just views this as another great opportunity to get friends involved, go out, etc. and unlike a typical night out they are less likely to bail. She arranges whole three and four day trips with several friends sometimes, all in honor of her birthday! Kinda blows my mind sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter (in her mid 30s) does this and always has, since she was a little kid! I did not encourage it, I actually have the opposite reaction to my own birthday, but there is no stopping her.

My theory is that since she loves to go out and socialize, etc. she just views this as another great opportunity to get friends involved, go out, etc. and unlike a typical night out they are less likely to bail. She arranges whole three and four day trips with several friends sometimes, all in honor of her birthday! Kinda blows my mind sometimes.

Sounds narcissistic and needy.

You can plan trips without celebrating yourself. You can plan nights out FOR FRIENDS birthdays. Planning any celebration for yourself is needy and self-centered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter (in her mid 30s) does this and always has, since she was a little kid! I did not encourage it, I actually have the opposite reaction to my own birthday, but there is no stopping her.

My theory is that since she loves to go out and socialize, etc. she just views this as another great opportunity to get friends involved, go out, etc. and unlike a typical night out they are less likely to bail. She arranges whole three and four day trips with several friends sometimes, all in honor of her birthday! Kinda blows my mind sometimes.

Sounds narcissistic and needy.

You can plan trips without celebrating yourself. You can plan nights out FOR FRIENDS birthdays. Planning any celebration for yourself is needy and self-centered.

So? Join the fun or sit at home and judge people.

[Anonymous]

I think it's ridiculous. And I feel embarrassed for people who do it. We certainly don't ignore birthdays. We celebrate with family. There is always cake. Big parties for adults are cringe-worthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, do the people you are denigrating in your post have children?

Childless/childfree person here. Nice try! Thought you were going to make this a "you know, it's just childless people b/c their lives are so meaningless and empty w/o kids" thread.

For what it's worth, I don't make a big deal about my birthday. I don't even expect my husband to get me a gift. At most, we go out to dinner. But even that I pass on some years if I'm tired/not really in the mood.

Same with my husband.

But, then again, we don't really celebrate holidays either. And I think what OP is complaining about is part and parcel of the over-hype of all holidays (christmas, valentine's, mother's day, father's day, etc.).

[Anonymous]

I like getting together with people- the reason is irrelevant. I have a few friends who are like this (although I don't know anyone who has a birthday week or month), and they are the ones that remember my birthday and take me to lunch. I like them they are fun people and I don't have a problem if they want to up the ante for their birthday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know so many adults who over-celebrate their birthdays. Examples, I know someone (34) who has celebrated "birthday week" (and "birthday month!") for as long as I've known them. Like, "manicures for my birthday on Monday, drinks after work Wednesday, birthday eve dinner on Thursday, and a blowout on THE day."

Another person (50s) MUST celebrate with everyone. "Oh, you can't make it to dinner with my parents and siblings on Friday? Let's celebrate ME on Satursay then!"

Another one (40s) plans her own events! "Come to dinner for my birthday!"

Is this the epitome of needy? I like to pretend my birthday doesn't exist. It's cool if my husband and kids remembers me, but really, everyone was born. It's not some huge event. Right?

I get celebrating milestone birthdays, but really, playing up your 36th or 44th Birthday? Get over yourself.

Actually, isn't this the polite way to do it when you're older? The birthday person takes others out?

[Anonymous]

If it's casual, like "come over if you can on Saturday...we're using my birthday as an excuse to have a BBQ" or "we've been dying to try the new sushi place, so we'd love you to join us Saturday for Ted's birthday," that's fun, and fine.

If it involves complex logisitics, hints about gifts, drawn-out celebrations, or command performances? Eff that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, do the people you are denigrating in your post have children?

Says the person who cleebrates ME! Look at me! Looke at me! I was BORN!!!

Nope.

OP is a bitch and a bad friend who deserves to be called out.

Are you her twin?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's ridiculous. And I feel embarrassed for people who do it. We certainly don't ignore birthdays. We celebrate with family. There is always cake. Big parties for adults are cringe-worthy.

See I agree for run of the mill birthdays but I think milestone ones should be celebrated. Especially 50 for some reason - 75 and 100 are other good ones but who knows what shape we all be in by then? And, i too have had friends die young so for me it's a celebration of life and a time to actually reflect and be grateful for all the good things I have, figure out where I've screwed up and make plans/goals for the coming years.

If I do celebrate on a milestone - if folks join...great. If not, I'm fine. To each your own. But, I like birthdays. I do dislike the fact that my parents and ILs use birthdays and anniversaries as way to guilt trip family into trips/activities/etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's ridiculous. And I feel embarrassed for people who do it. We certainly don't ignore birthdays. We celebrate with family. There is always cake. Big parties for adults are cringe-worthy.

See I agree for run of the mill birthdays but I think milestone ones should be celebrated. Especially 50 for some reason - 75 and 100 are other good ones but who knows what shape we all be in by then? And, i too have had friends die young so for me it's a celebration of life and a time to actually reflect and be grateful for all the good things I have, figure out where I've screwed up and make plans/goals for the coming years.

If I do celebrate on a milestone - if folks join...great. If not, I'm fine. To each your own. But, I like birthdays. I do dislike the fact that my parents and ILs use birthdays and anniversaries as way to guilt trip family into trips/activities/etc.

OP said she celebrates milestones.

[Anonymous]

I know someone in their forties who does this, she is a total narcissistic woman who adores herself

[Anonymous]

I am ashamed to be here at 32 being unmarried, single and no kids, why would I celebrate another year of being a loser? No. I don't celebrate and find birthdays very hard

[Anonymous]

We had brunch at a restaurant for my birthday (today!) DH got me the lotion and bath oil I specifically asked for. I am feeling very.....introspective today.

I posted this yesterday:

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/637074.page

My birthday is NOT public on facebook

[Anonymous]

I plan birthday outings with a couple of close friends and they invite me to theirs'. It works for us; I don't like it when a mom I know starts mentioning her birthday a month before the date: what she will do etc.
I don't mention my birthday to anyone but these 2-3 friends.