How often should I see my brother's family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a new poster and I strongly urge you to leave the iPad at home. It is not good for kids to be dependent on technology even if it is for 1 h a day. He should be able to do without it. Does he read books? Too much technology time makes it difficult for kids to develop good reading habits. If he is an introvert, books should be a wonderful escape for him. Also, you seem to be overly sensitive about your SIL judging you. If you are confident in your parenting, it should not bother you what others think. I love my sister and my nephews and enjoy their visits but still get irritated as hell with them sometimes. No big deal though. We all still visit each other and mostly have fun together.

Thank you for your post! My son is reading two grade levels ahead.
Yes, I might be overly sensitive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You want "middle ground" advice but there is no middle ground on cursing. People are trying to tell you that. You were obviously raised differently from your DH and his family and it is causing a clash of values. Up your game a bit and work on the manners. It's an awful feeling for a kid (your kid) to be caught in the middle of a clash of values. He will spend time as he gets older with other families (his girlfriend's family; college roommate, etc), and he will realize that his mom was socially clueless and ill-mannered. You aren't going to change. I'm not sure why you even posted this.

Look, cursing was only once and I am not really asking anyone to absolve the cursing. Also, this is not my DH. It is my brother's family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stay in a hotel. That's an important rule.
Go once a year. At minimum you go alone
There is value to you keeping your relationship with your brother - kids or not.
If it starts to annoy you that you do the traveling, they never come to you, go every other year.
Again,just yourself is still valuable, if it comes to that.

I am fine with traveling, it is easier for me than hosting.
I would like the kids to have a relationship if possible; was just wondering how to do this without experiencing too much judgement (or rather, without seeing SIL become too stressed).

Hey, literally every language I know has some equivalent of "When in Rome, do as Romans do." I'm sure your native language has a way of imparting the same wisdom. If your kid has a tough time conforming to another home's rules 24/7, stay in the hotel and visit for manageable periods of time. No, you don't get to show up, let your kid do as he pleases and not be judged. Either be okay with being judged or ask your kid to speak the damn language. It will only do him good. No worries, he won't lose any English because of it.

I don't want to spend my vacation correcting him, nagging him, asking him to not speak English.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stay in a hotel. That's an important rule.
Go once a year. At minimum you go alone
There is value to you keeping your relationship with your brother - kids or not.
If it starts to annoy you that you do the traveling, they never come to you, go every other year.
Again,just yourself is still valuable, if it comes to that.

I am fine with traveling, it is easier for me than hosting.
I would like the kids to have a relationship if possible; was just wondering how to do this without experiencing too much judgement (or rather, without seeing SIL become too stressed).

Hey, literally every language I know has some equivalent of "When in Rome, do as Romans do." I'm sure your native language has a way of imparting the same wisdom. If your kid has a tough time conforming to another home's rules 24/7, stay in the hotel and visit for manageable periods of time. No, you don't get to show up, let your kid do as he pleases and not be judged. Either be okay with being judged or ask your kid to speak the damn language. It will only do him good. No worries, he won't lose any English because of it.

I don't want to spend my vacation correcting him, nagging him, asking him to not speak English.

What can I say? Stay home. It's unfortunate that sitting down and having a productive conversation about common courtesies is not even an option.