Do you think taking your kids out to eat frequently helps them to be "well-behaved" in restaurants?

[Anonymous]

It's not the frequency of eating out, it's the frequency of effective discipline that gets your kid to behave appropriately in public and at home.

[Anonymous]

When our kids were little we didn't go to restaurants very often with them because it seemed somewhat unpleasant for us and them, to be honest. So we would eat out when we had babysitters. As a result, the kids really wanted to join us and they behave because they started to see it as a special treat when they were invited along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh- and my kids never, ever have tablets or phones at the table. To me that is the height of rudeness.

+1

I don't consider a kid with an iPad at the table to be well-behaved.

Exactly. Sharing a meal is about sharing conversation - not watching some zombie kid on a device. The art of conversation is learned, just like anything else.

I am a mom of twin boys whose husband travels a lot for work and I work full time. There are days when I pick them up from aftercare and take them out to dinner, let them have their iPads. I need/deserve to unwind with a glass of wine to enjoy the quiet in my head. This helps me recover from my day and recharge to be 100% focused on them for bed time prep.

When you see us or similarly situated parents, please be mindful that we're all trying to do the best we can based on our situation.

[Anonymous]

Of course not. That's just a rationalization on the parent's part

Teach table manners at home, and it will transfer to any setting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When our kids were little we didn't go to restaurants very often with them because it seemed somewhat unpleasant for us and them, to be honest. So we would eat out when we had babysitters. As a result, the kids really wanted to join us and they behave because they started to see it as a special treat when they were invited along.

Yes!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Of course not. That's just a rationalization on the parent's part

Teach table manners at home, and it will transfer to any setting.

This. If you let your kids run wild at home, not sit at the table for meals and so forth, then the same will ring true when you take them out to eat.

now sure there are ages when these thing are more or less difficult. We have taken our kids out to eat since they were newborns, but there was definitely a period of time between 15 months and just before 2yrs, when taking our son out to eat was not enjoyable or pleasant so we avoided it or went to very casual/family friendly places. We had less of a problem when our youngest was this age, probably because he had his brother to be an example and entertain him.

I am baffled that kids above the age of 3 can't behave well enough to dine out. I get not going out to eat because parents see it as a waste of money because all their kids eat is chicken tenders, but to not physically be able to dine out because kids can't behave is just poor parenting. oh and I mean this for typical kids with no special need. I get that some kids have other issues that make it hard for them to be in a restaurant and so forth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh- and my kids never, ever have tablets or phones at the table. To me that is the height of rudeness.

+1

I don't consider a kid with an iPad at the table to be well-behaved.

Exactly. Sharing a meal is about sharing conversation - not watching some zombie kid on a device. The art of conversation is learned, just like anything else.

I am a mom of twin boys whose husband travels a lot for work and I work full time. There are days when I pick them up from aftercare and take them out to dinner, let them have their iPads. I need/deserve to unwind with a glass of wine to enjoy the quiet in my head. This helps me recover from my day and recharge to be 100% focused on them for bed time prep.

When you see us or similarly situated parents, please be mindful that we're all trying to do the best we can based on our situation.

I'm sorry, that sounds awful. It does not, however, change my feelings at all about children on devices at a dinner table. So before care, school, after care...and then STILL no Mom? I just can't relate.

[Anonymous]

I think it's discipline at home that prepares you to be well-behaved in public.

Parents should be disciplining bad/disruptive behavior at the home dinner table as well. How do you expect your kids to behave at a dinner table at a restaurant if you don't enforce that behavior on a daily basis at home?

[Anonymous]

The more kids are out of their comfort zone and learn they must adjust, the better. Refinement. More than what would be appropriate than at home.

Yes, taking them out to restaurants matters. And other people's homes. And people's homes where the expectations are more formal. And a formal restaurant occasionally.

[Anonymous]

Eating in a restaurant is different from eating at home. It may be later or earlier, it may be more formal, busier, with more distractions and the food may not be what the kid likes or is used to, and there will be waiting involved. It's a stimulating environment for a child, particularly one that's not used to it.

So it is a LOT more than just having effective discipline in place. My four year old struggles with tantrums, still, unfortunately. However, we've taken our kids to restaurants consistently since they were tiny. They are used to it. They know exactly how to behave (and they never scream, shout, run around, cry, have tantrums or do anything inappropriate for a restaurant setting). On one occasion, a couple of years ago we left because the youngest wasn't behaving appropriately (this was during a long wait to be seated), but other than that they are quiet, respectful and good dinner companions. This isn't because we have perfect children or a perfect discipline process (the ongoing tantrums in other settings show that we have not) it's because we take them out a lot and they have had plenty of PRACTICE!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We take our son out frequently, but if he misbehaves, we leave. He gets one warning and then we get up and walk out (while my DH deals with wrapping up my food and paying the check).

We have only had to leave a restaurant twice.

I like this. Actually following through is key.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When our kids were little we didn't go to restaurants very often with them because it seemed somewhat unpleasant for us and them, to be honest. So we would eat out when we had babysitters. As a result, the kids really wanted to join us and they behave because they started to see it as a special treat when they were invited along.

Ooh, this is a good idea! Thanks.

[Anonymous]

I think it worked for us. We have gone out to eat regularly since my daughter was very young, and she has been very well-behaved 99% if the time. Those few bad times were around 18 months, when she wanted to be more active than a restaurant allows. Lesson leaned.