Do you think taking your kids out to eat frequently helps them to be "well-behaved" in restaurants?

[Anonymous]

Our kids eat out rarely and are fine in restaurants if they like the food. They behave worse at home

[Anonymous]

It depends on the kid. Our older one has always done well in restaurants provided we came prepared with crayons and table toys. Our younger one is high-energy and totally out of hand. We have really backed on restaurants at the moment because no amount of preparation (well rested, toys, etc) makes a meal out enjoyable.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it depends on the kids at all. In some cultures children are expected and taught to behave well in places like restaurants. In those countries all children, unless they have severe autism or some such, behave well in those circumstances. My kids do. A couple of times when they were very young I had to take them outside and give them a talking to.

So, I think it is largely a question of shitty parenting, with "spirited children" being an excuse.

[Anonymous]

It's pretty simple to manage one kid in a restaurant once they're over the age of 3.
Anyway, while the experience is important we expect restaurant worthy manners at the dinner table and sit at our table foray least 30 minutes every night so that they get used to it. Dining at restaurants isn't what teaches them, you do.

[Anonymous]

I have three boys, two of who are very close in age and who were very wild below the age of five. The other misbehaved in a typical way for whatever age he happened to be.

We eat out regularly, at least once per week and often several tume per week, anywhere from chain restaurants to very nice "adult" restaurants, club type dining and event dining (weddings, military events, special dinners).

My kids behave in restaurants. They knew what was expected from a very young age and got lots of practice at restaurant behavior since birth. We never brought toys, devices or a bag of entettainment and special snacks to restaurants. From a young age they were expected to stay in their seat, converse quietly, eat with age appropriate table manners, and color if the place had coloring sheets. As soon as they were old enough (around 3 or 4) we expected them to look the server inthe eye, order their own food, sides and drink, and thank the server.

We practiced this behavior often and that is why I believe they behaved in restaurants, even nice ones, from a very young age as they are not typically or notably well behaved kids. They were very active and often naughty boys when they were younger.

They also (eventually) behaved in church from about the preschool age. That one was a little harder, especially since we attend a very quiet and traditional church, but we used the same type of rules (no snacks, no running around and if you go to the cry room you get held like a baby, no toys or outside items, and you must follow appropriate behavior like kneeling when everyone kneels).

Lots of practice and clear expectations yields the best results, especially with things like restaurants.

I love eating out and it was important to us that we be able to eat out (and attend church) as a family.

As I said, my kids were on the wild side and I was by no means an exceptional or disciplined parent. This behaviir was important to me so we practiced a lot and tye resukts speak for themselves.

[Anonymous]

I have friends who take their small kids out to eat all of the time. But they let them run wild, so it's not like the kids ever actually learn how to behave. In fact, it's the opposite. The kids learn it's okay to go crazy in public places.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have three boys, two of who are very close in age and who were very wild below the age of five. The other misbehaved in a typical way for whatever age he happened to be.

We eat out regularly, at least once per week and often several tume per week, anywhere from chain restaurants to very nice "adult" restaurants, club type dining and event dining (weddings, military events, special dinners).

My kids behave in restaurants. They knew what was expected from a very young age and got lots of practice at restaurant behavior since birth. We never brought toys, devices or a bag of entettainment and special snacks to restaurants. From a young age they were expected to stay in their seat, converse quietly, eat with age appropriate table manners, and color if the place had coloring sheets. As soon as they were old enough (around 3 or 4) we expected them to look the server inthe eye, order their own food, sides and drink, and thank the server.

We practiced this behavior often and that is why I believe they behaved in restaurants, even nice ones, from a very young age as they are not typically or notably well behaved kids. They were very active and often naughty boys when they were younger.

They also (eventually) behaved in church from about the preschool age. That one was a little harder, especially since we attend a very quiet and traditional church, but we used the same type of rules (no snacks, no running around and if you go to the cry room you get held like a baby, no toys or outside items, and you must follow appropriate behavior like kneeling when everyone kneels).

Lots of practice and clear expectations yields the best results, especially with things like restaurants.

I love eating out and it was important to us that we be able to eat out (and attend church) as a family.

As I said, my kids were on the wild side and I was by no means an exceptional or disciplined parent. This behaviir was important to me so we practiced a lot and tye resukts speak for themselves.

Oh, and when we would take our kids to nice upscale restaurants, we woukd definitely get the stinkeye fromnother patrons as we walked in (3 boys under the age of seven, two little ones that just looked energetic and mischevious, who wouldn't look at them sideways).

Inevitably, we would get a compliment at the end from someone, usually an older couple or server, about how surprised they were at how well the boys behaved. Those compliments encouraged future good behavior.

[Anonymous]

Too poor to use restaurant visits as practice, so we waited until they were older (4 and 6) and could sit well, not be too loud. That's great you were able to do it from birth. It just wasn't in our budget. Still don't eat out a lot, but when we do (kids are 7 and 9 now) my kids are well behaved because we expect it and yes have consequences if they arent. So it can be from practice and frequency, but is also how they are parented as a whole.

[Anonymous]

We only have one kid so I know that is easier but we have taken her out to eat since she was a baby in a carrier. I have had to take her out once. and I made her sit on the floor outside the restauarant until she got herself together, she was around 2 when we did that and we did go back in and she was fine. I do think they learn from what they see and they will be good if they know that is the expectation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our kids eat out rarely and are fine in restaurants if they like the food. They behave worse at home

+1 Nicer restaurants are a treat. I'm not counting the casual diner we frequent. They were both and still are high energy kids. We went through phases when they were young when we didn't go anywhere with a menu. It wasn't enjoyable for anyone. Now they love getting dressed up and going to fancier places.

[Anonymous]

3 kids here- been eating in restaurants with all of them since birth. It was hectic but doable when we had three three and under, and now they know how to behave in restaurants- we never have issues.

[Anonymous]

We never go upscale as the few times we have the food wasn't impressive. We do go to basic Asian and other places. It is mainly parenting. There was a time when our kids acted up and we stopped going. Lucky for us they like eating out so they quickly learned to behave. We had taken them out since birth. We always bring games, iPad and things to occupy them. We feed a snack sometimes before we go to avoid the hunger meltdown. They know they sit and only get up to go to the bathroom. Walking around is not an option.

[Anonymous]

Oh- and my kids never, ever have tablets or phones at the table. To me that is the height of rudeness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it depends on the kids at all. In some cultures children are expected and taught to behave well in places like restaurants. In those countries all children, unless they have severe autism or some such, behave well in those circumstances. My kids do. A couple of times when they were very young I had to take them outside and give them a talking to.

So, I think it is largely a question of shitty parenting, with "spirited children" being an excuse.

Agreed. Lots of us have kids with different temperaments and energy levels but manage to get them all to behave at a restaurant. It's parenting. I do think it's good to take them early and often but the trick is, you have to actually correct the behaviors you don't want. "Oh it's his age" while your two year old is stampeding around the restaurant teaches nothing.

[Anonymous]

Require manners at home. Restaurants are easier. Not 100% perfect, but easier. Know your kid's limits. It's not fair to make a hungry kid sit at a table doing absolutely nothing for a half hour while a meal is prepared. If your kid can't handle that, choose more casual restaurants with puzzles and coloring pages, and still reinforce other manners, like ordering properly, napkins, proper utensils, etc.