Did you give up a large portion of your income in pursuit of a happier life?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:yes, best decision ever.

no one ever says at a funeral of somebody that the deceased wishes they could have spent more time more time at work or making more money............

I hear this all the time but I think it's simplistic. My grandmother, now 98, was a WOHM back in the 1950s and 60s (when women were openly insulted and discriminated against for doing so) and she is proud of her work to this day. If she has regrets, she hasn't expressed them yet. Her kids and grandkids are proud of her too. She was a trailblazer.

I think lots of people have done what OP is asking and been the better for it, but I wouldn't make the decision based on overly-simplified maxims on life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:yes, best decision ever.

no one ever says at a funeral of somebody that the deceased wishes they could have spent more time more time at work or making more money............

Everyone says this but it is not true. I know several elderly people who didn't save enough and now they have very limited housing choices. Think subsidized nursing homes with up to 4 to a room. They "lived for the moment" and didn't save and now they are stuck.

Yep, and there are certainly people who wish they had more financial resources in their later years just to give more generously, travel, experience life, not be stressed.

Moving from wealthy to moderately wealthy is one thing. But moving from comfortable to pinching is another.

[Anonymous]

I quit my high paying job 5-6 years ago because it was miserable. Figured I would do some kind of contract work part time. As it turned out I make more money now so it worked out well financially but I was prepared to earn way less (DH earns a lot so it was wasn't that big a sacrifice).

Frankly to me having money is a plus. It buys things we like to do. It buys low financial stress. It buys debt free college educations for our kids. I like traveling and skiing and being able to do those does makes me happy. It's not about bragging rights, it's about what I enjoy. And I don't really care what people say at my funeral because I'll be dead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:yes, best decision ever.

no one ever says at a funeral of somebody that the deceased wishes they could have spent more time more time at work or making more money............

Everyone says this but it is not true. I know several elderly people who didn't save enough and now they have very limited housing choices. Think subsidized nursing homes with up to 4 to a room. They "lived for the moment" and didn't save and now they are stuck.

Yep, and there are certainly people who wish they had more financial resources in their later years just to give more generously, travel, experience life, not be stressed.

Moving from wealthy to moderately wealthy is one thing. But moving from comfortable to pinching is another.

300k, 150 k are not wealthy or moderately so though

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I quit my high paying job 5-6 years ago because it was miserable. Figured I would do some kind of contract work part time. As it turned out I make more money now so it worked out well financially but I was prepared to earn way less (DH earns a lot so it was wasn't that big a sacrifice).

Frankly to me having money is a plus. It buys things we like to do. It buys low financial stress. It buys debt free college educations for our kids. I like traveling and skiing and being able to do those does makes me happy. It's not about bragging rights, it's about what I enjoy. And I don't really care what people say at my funeral because I'll be dead.

+1

This thread is weird. OP will you still be able to save for college for 2 kids even after halving your income? We are a family of 5 and I know we would have to really change our spending habits and cut back a lot on the things that make life fun and enjoyable - travel, ski trips, eating out with friends/date nights, subscription theater tix, kids' extracurricular activities, expensive summer camps and saving for private college for 3 kids, etc. on 150k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:yes, best decision ever.

no one ever says at a funeral of somebody that the deceased wishes they could have spent more time more time at work or making more money............

Everyone says this but it is not true. I know several elderly people who didn't save enough and now they have very limited housing choices. Think subsidized nursing homes with up to 4 to a room. They "lived for the moment" and didn't save and now they are stuck.

Yep, and there are certainly people who wish they had more financial resources in their later years just to give more generously, travel, experience life, not be stressed.

Moving from wealthy to moderately wealthy is one thing. But moving from comfortable to pinching is another.

300k, 150 k are not wealthy or moderately so though

+1. It's practically lower class in DC!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I quit my high paying job 5-6 years ago because it was miserable. Figured I would do some kind of contract work part time. As it turned out I make more money now so it worked out well financially but I was prepared to earn way less (DH earns a lot so it was wasn't that big a sacrifice).

Frankly to me having money is a plus. It buys things we like to do. It buys low financial stress. It buys debt free college educations for our kids. I like traveling and skiing and being able to do those does makes me happy. It's not about bragging rights, it's about what I enjoy. And I don't really care what people say at my funeral because I'll be dead.

+1

This thread is weird. OP will you still be able to save for college for 2 kids even after halving your income? We are a family of 5 and I know we would have to really change our spending habits and cut back a lot on the things that make life fun and enjoyable - travel, ski trips, eating out with friends/date nights, subscription theater tix, kids' extracurricular activities, expensive summer camps and saving for private college for 3 kids, etc. on 150k.

The thread is only weird because you are biased.

Not everyone think ski trips, eating out, date nights and expensive summer camps is fun.

Happiness means different things to different people. My idea is fun is hanging out on the couch with my family, and cooking homemade meals for them. My husband and I used to cuddle on the couch every night before we had kids and when we had the money to spare.

I would take my husband and myself being at home every evening before 6 over trips and expensive summer camps any day.

I had an awesome childhood without doing any of these things. And I still got a great enough education at a public college to get me into a top grad school program.

Long hours make me and my DH miserable. We are very happy with less money, less vacations, and so forth.

Now if I could get free money without having to work like mad for it, that is a different story.

[Anonymous]

No it isn't.

I grew up poor. Appalachian poor. Six years ago I went from a law firm in DC to a nonprofit part time, taking a 2/3 pay cut. I also moved to the Midwest.

It had been great for my whole family. I do live on a farm, can pick up my kids every day, and still pursue my hobby. It is not for everyone, though. I still work hard, just a significant portion is outside, consists of manual labor and I enjoy it. Not everyone does. i find it peaceful in a Wendell Berry way.

I am very happy but I have zero desire to go off the grid remote. My next door neighbor back in Appalachia got indoor plumbing this winter. He is 78. Truly being off the grid sounds much better than it actually is, I can tell you firsthand.

[Anonymous]

^ Very few people are suggesting going off the grid, but...

[Anonymous]

We went from about 200K to 100K so that one of us could pursue a career opportunity. It did not come with a reduction in work hours for either of us, so I can't comment on the lifestyle changes. It was really eye-opening on how easy it was to cut some extra spending. I really don't miss buying "stuff." I do miss nice vacations, watching our savings grow, and more comfortably weathering emergencies.

We made this change with the intention of making more than 200K in the medium-term. If things don't turn out that way, we we will probably go back to the previous status quo.

So not exactly your scenario, but I can confirm there are benefits - cutting spending is freeing, and making a change that is really personally meaningful is rewarding and motivating.

[Anonymous]

I suppose we fall into this thread because DW is a SAHP. We currently are at around ~130k; if she WOH, we'd be at around ~185k. However, things are great. I get about 14 weeks off and am home by 3 most days.

My day job has some stress, but it's hard to imagine another job that would offer the same combination of fulfillment and pay (~50k). Our ideal would be if we both worked PT with overlapping schedules so someone could always be with the kids. However, what we already have is something most would love to, so I need to remember that more.

[Anonymous]

I did this a while back, and my DH did this a few years ago.

Fifteen years ago, I dropped my dream career and became a SAHM. Don't even want to start doing the math about how much more money we'd have.

About 5 years ago, DH made a temporary move into the Federal govt, and our income plummeted. He's back at his private sector job now and making more than when he left. But I loved it when he was at the Fed job, because he had such a great quality of life--we all did.

OP what I don't see in your OP is will it give your DH, (and you), more time. That is what is truly important. You can always get by on less $; it's the time that matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a pair of DC lawyers who dropped out of big law once they paid off loans. One became a SAHM to 4, the other became a music minister for a church in Idaho.

I think they're nuts, but they're happy and say it's the best thing they could've ever done for their family. To each his own.

Huh. I also know two lawyers who saved their biglaw earnings and followed "The Millionaire Next Door". Then they bought a ranchette in Colorado and told their biglaw firms to shove it. They are raising their kids in CO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can point to three points in my career when I made choices that sacrificed money for family/meaningful work. Looking back, I would change my decisions.

Being financially stressed in middle age when care of parents and facing college with almost no savings is miserable. Did you know you can save cash by going without health insurance for two months a year without penalty? Sucks to be me.

Hmmm. How much cash?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not a major professional move but I just take off random days a few times a month just to do nothing. Keeps me happy and keeps me from caring when work sucks too much. It's a bit of a financial hit (mostly in the case of taking an actual vacay away- usually it ends up being a few weeks of leave without pay for a couple holidays a year because I've blown through my 4 weeks). In my field I don't have repercussions and just can't be bothered to care.

Do you mean that in addition to your annual leave, you take days without pay? And your org is ok with it?