Should kids give up seats for adults?

[Anonymous]

I'm old-school about this. I am also a considerate person with a bad back and chronic illness, so I take extra note of finding a place to sit and who needs it.

I teach my kids to offer seats and do other polite, old-fashioned things.

I didn't know what to do as I recently watched my niece's boyfriend, who's polite, helpful, and calls my 80-year-old dad "sir," yet sat there as my mother obviously looked for a seat and stood until someone older gave her their seat. I think it's just not taught anymore.

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

Yes, if they have any class or manners they should. How rude!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes kids should get up.

In g[]eneral they are too self-absorbed and lack respect for their elders or anyone else.

[Anonymous]

i think it is optional for them

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Yes. I'm 37 and if my family is gathered and anyone older than me needs a seat, I move to the floor. Certainly kids and teens should do the same. It's extremely rude not to.

[Anonymous]

I encourage my kids to. Only exception would be my littler ones on a moving place like a train ~ it's more dangerous for them to stand than sit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People cannot tell for sure if a woman is pregnant or simply fat.

If the latter, they fear offending the woman.

Same for the elderly. Some kind gesters get shot down with "I am not that old!" while others complain "no one give me their seat."

What is a transit stranger to do?

I regularly just ask people "Would you like to sit?" They can say yes or no. If several people get on at the same time including one person who might need a seat, I'll just say "Would anyone like to sit?" and raise my hand so people know who spoke. If no one answers, then I'll stay sitting. If someone asks, I immediately get up. I have never had someone get upset from this phrasing. And I'm 52, so I'm old enough to have had this exchange many, many times including recently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think kids should give up seats for all adults but I do think they should give up seats for elderly or non-able bodied people.

once you get to be 40ish all people are non-able bodied. Hurts like hell to get up, back hurts sitting on the floor, everything aches. You must be young.

Heh. I'm 49 and sit in the floor all the time.

You must be flexible and not fat.

I am 52 and overweight. I have 5 yo twins and I still run around with them, and get down on the floor with them regularly. It is not unusual that we are places and I sit on the floor cross legged and one of the kids sits in my lap. I carry them at times and I chase them around. I am not nearly as flexible or energetic as I was in my 30's, but I'm still more than able to get up and sit down with them. If everything hurts like you're 60, then you need to get some more regular exercise. My best friend (51) started taking yoga about 5-6 years ago to solve these same complaints. He's now fine again with basic activity like this. You might want to try it because you should not feel that way at 40.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think kids should give up seats for all adults but I do think they should give up seats for elderly or non-able bodied people.

once you get to be 40ish all people are non-able bodied. Hurts like hell to get up, back hurts sitting on the floor, everything aches. You must be young.

I'm 44 and my body does not "hurt like hell". Time to do some exercise if 40 is causing you pain!

I'm 44 and my body does hurt like hell. I have immunity issues and am working with doctors to try and figure them out. I say this because I am thin and look healthy, so you might think I'm just being rude. But I really need the seat on the bus. Please don't assume I'm just a lazy bum. I will, however, offer my seat to an elderly or pregnant person no matter how miserable I feel.

[Anonymous]

Oh lord the OP is asking about KIDS and these dummies are arguing about who is more/less fit?

To answer OP - yes the children should get up. Indian-American upbringing taught me that you always defer seating to whomever is older. We're not so good about teaching our kids this lesson, so I do remind my nieces when I see them sprawled out on a couch and taking up seats. DS is to small to sit now, but I hope I don't ever have to ask him to move for an elder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am surprised at the number of people who will not correct their nieces and nephews. If their parents won't do it, then you tell them (nicely) what you expect.

+1 my aunts and uncle corrected me equal opportunity with my mother, probably more. I'm sure I didn't appreciate it then, but I do now.

Different generation. Aunts/uncles or even neighbor moms could correct you and you had to listen bc you knew your parents would take their side. Now too many moms will squawk about - how dare you make their snowflake sit on the floor - don't you know he is aspie with low tone and has his orange belt karate test tomorrow and needs to be in perfect shape - his 65 yr old great aunt will just be sitting home all day tomorrow, while he needs to be well rested and ready to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Staying for a few days with extended family. One of my pet peeves is when the kids (teens and tweens) remain on couches when there is no other place to sit. When my MIL or FIL walk in a room and there are no seats, I offer them mine. Meanwhile, I have to sit on the floor while an 11 yo and 16 yo chill on the couch with iPads. I think it's disrespectful and I'm annoyed and the various parents should correct them. Your thoughts?

Yes, but explain why. Adults sitting on the floor when other adults are in chairs is weird + uncomfortable. Kids lounging on the floor or beanbag chairs is more acceptable. It's not about authority-- kids give up the seat because they don't want to make things awkward and uncomfortable for another person. It's a sign of respect and courtesy.

[Anonymous]

YES! OMG I would be humiliated if my kids didn't automatically do so. Thankfully, they always do. If your kids don't know to get up and offer their seats to an adult, you have failed miserably as a parent.