tell me what's odd about where you're staying

[Anonymous]

DH and I are sleeping in the "doll room" while we are staying at my FIL's house. The room must have about 300 dolls of varying sizes and dress stacked two deep on shelves. They belonged to my mother in law who had a hoarding problem and who sadly passed away a year and a half ago. The dolls are still here. We always sleep in this room during our twice yearly visits (important to DH to stay at his parents house) and while it has always been disturbing to me, for some reason on this visit they are really creeping me out even more than they usually do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are sleeping in the "doll room" while we are staying at my FIL's house. The room must have about 300 dolls of varying sizes and dress stacked two deep on shelves. They belonged to my mother in law who had a hoarding problem and who sadly passed away a year and a half ago. The dolls are still here. We always sleep in this room during our twice yearly visits (important to DH to stay at his parents house) and while it has always been disturbing to me, for some reason on this visit they are really creeping me out even more than they usually do.

Gah that sounds scary. Good luck! Hotel next time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:9 people and 4 dogs spending 4 days in a house with only 3 beds was...cozy.

19 people and 2 dogs here. Adults get bedrooms but all grandkids in sleeping bags in the den. Crazy town.

If all the adults have bedrooms, what's the issue? I think it sounds like a cute bonding experience to have the kids all together like a big sleepover.

OP- You win so far. Your inlaws are odd.

Yeah the kids in sleeping bags sounds normal to me -- that's how I grew up. Most family had only one spare bed (if any) and adults got the bed or fold-out couch, kids crashed wherever in sleeping bags. Same deal for sleepovers with friends. No one had blow-up beds back then (80s/90s).

Now the person who posted that great-grandmother had to sleep in a sleeping bag -- that is just wrong. A child or younger adult should have given up a bed for her!

[Anonymous]

Good memories here of sleeping with all the cousins in the family room in sleeping bags. For the house with no soap or towels or tissues, I would stop at Walmart on the way and buy all that stuff. Provide your own spa like amenities. Like soap!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Staying with MIL.

Everybody including adults must put a towel on their chair while eating at the kitchen table.

There is only bar soap in the entire house. Dishes are hand washed with a bar of Ivory soap.

There are decorative liquid soap dispensers in the bathroom but they are only for show. Decorative tissue box covers are also empty. She doesn't like for people to use the decorative hand towels but there aren't other towels to use.

The upstairs shower drain is clogged so you're basically standing in a bath by the time your shower is done. It's been this way for over 2 years. She doesn't think it's an issue.

Everyone is freezing but MIL won't turn the heat up.

Who the fu*k would wash dishes with bar soap?? And why wouldn't you check into a hotel?

I don't know. But today I started loading the dishwasher because it's just ridiculous. She thinks running the dishwasher costs too much money. But I don't mind that as much as the fact that the same bar of decorative soap has been in the powder room for at least 2 years. And it's the only soap in the whole bathroom. There's not a hotel nearby and it would devestate her to have us stay somewhere else.

She thinks all of this is totally normal. And it pretty much all stems from her being incredibly cheap. I told her today that the bathroom sink also backs up while the water is running and she said that it's fine because she never uses that bathroom and it's not worth getting it fixed for the few times a year she has guests and we're family so she doesn't need to impress us.

The towels on the chairs are because her kitchen chairs are covered in a suede-like fabric and are hard to clean so she has people sit on towels in case any food gets on the chairs. When we eat in the dining room, which is incredibly rare, she covers the rug with towels as well. Of course she would have chosen an all white dining room. It makes total sense to her.

But that's how she lives her life in a nutshell--for appearances only.

#2morenights

-OP

My dad was like this, but I finally figured out that he and his six siblings were born before, during and after the Depression. Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without - was a way of life that just could not be changed even when the hard times were long over. He also had a weird thing about appearances. It never made any sense to me that we'd have an entire room of dusty furniture and bric a brac that no one used but until very recently, that was a cultural norm up and down the SES.

Thankfully, he never resorted to plastic covers on the furniture but he had a whole set of towels in the hall closet that were just for sitting and he'd pass them out when company came over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Staying with MIL.

Everybody including adults must put a towel on their chair while eating at the kitchen table.

There is only bar soap in the entire house. Dishes are hand washed with a bar of Ivory soap.

There are decorative liquid soap dispensers in the bathroom but they are only for show. Decorative tissue box covers are also empty. She doesn't like for people to use the decorative hand towels but there aren't other towels to use.

The upstairs shower drain is clogged so you're basically standing in a bath by the time your shower is done. It's been this way for over 2 years. She doesn't think it's an issue.

Everyone is freezing but MIL won't turn the heat up.

Who the fu*k would wash dishes with bar soap?? And why wouldn't you check into a hotel?

This MIL is clearly having an issue with money and trying to keep up appearances. She's just not telling you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Staying with MIL.

Everybody including adults must put a towel on their chair while eating at the kitchen table.

There is only bar soap in the entire house. Dishes are hand washed with a bar of Ivory soap.

There are decorative liquid soap dispensers in the bathroom but they are only for show. Decorative tissue box covers are also empty. She doesn't like for people to use the decorative hand towels but there aren't other towels to use.

The upstairs shower drain is clogged so you're basically standing in a bath by the time your shower is done. It's been this way for over 2 years. She doesn't think it's an issue.

Everyone is freezing but MIL won't turn the heat up.

Who the fu*k would wash dishes with bar soap?? And why wouldn't you check into a hotel?

This MIL is clearly having an issue with money and trying to keep up appearances. She's just not telling you.

Yes, she does have an issue with money but not having enough of it isn't the issue. DH oversees her finances and speaks regularly with her advisor and she's pretty well off in that department. -OP

[Anonymous]

"Illegitimate" is just a technical term I used to explain that they were born out of wedlock. Which I guess is another term people hate?

I don't go around introducing them with that term. They are my niece and nephew. They are sweet kids. But let's be honest - how they got here was a big mistake. My 30 something BIL impregnated a 19 year old tramp he barely knew. We got a phone call that our child was going to have a cousin and we weren't even aware he was dating anyone.

It's just one disaster after another with those 2.

And to think people thought my husband was the troubled one when they were growing up...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 40 something BIL lives here in MIL's house with his 2 illegitimate children. The children's mother drops in and out of their lives. She is here now but has no car (we suspect it was relied) so people have to keep driving her places. When she shows up, she sleeps here so it has caused drama for us all.

BIL smokes (he does it outside) but smells like a chimney which is oh so much fun when I am dealing with a cold. Oh, and he has apparently ruined his insides with it and makes these awful grunting noises constantly.

Ugh, wish he had kept his dick in his pants. The kids are sweet and all, but the entire situation is just drama for everyone. Grandma is basically caring for kids in her retirement.

You sound completely awful. I hope those children never overhear you talking about them.

I wouldn't say any of this to the children. It's not their fault that idiots conceived and birthed them. They didn't ask for this.

But this shit isn't normal. #1 was an oops. But then they went and "planned" #2 (yeah, right) and had to move back in with my ILs and go on welfare. They did this to themselves and I have very little pity for them.

You may think I am horrible and callous, but we have considered filing for custody of the children multiple times. Neither my BIL or the twit he impregnated twice is a fit parent. And while grandma is a great person and the only stable influence in their lives, it sucks for her to have to deal with this shitshow on a daily basis. We'd do more if we were closer, but we live too far away to be of any real help.

Glad you don't say any of it to the kids, but would you consider also dropping the "illegitimate " label when speaking about them to others? It's not really relevant that their parents are unmarried and comes across as derogatory and disrespectful. As you said, they didn't cause the shitshow so don't add to their burden.

Not the poster, but why drop the "illegitimate"? They are. And it's a description of their sad existence.

It's almost 2017. No one has to have kids unless they want them. Either take birth control or get an abortion if you're pregnant (sorry if I offend any pro-lifers).

This, but I do think more kids are born illegitimate than to married parents at this point.

[Anonymous]

Homemade natural drain cleaner: pour a bunch of baking soda down the drain, then pour white vinegar(it will bubble up like a science experiment) then, pour a kettle full of boing water down the drain. Repeat if necessary. This method moves the gunk along. Good luck to all the posters. This has been very entertaining

[Anonymous]

More children being born to unmarried parents is not necessarily a good thing, as we all know.

It is a signal of tough times ahead for a good deal of these kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Homemade natural drain cleaner: pour a bunch of baking soda down the drain, then pour white vinegar(it will bubble up like a science experiment) then, pour a kettle full of boing waterdown the drain. Repeat if necessary. This method moves the gunk along. Good luck to all the posters. This has been very entertaining

I read this as bong water. That may help OP as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are sleeping in the "doll room" while we are staying at my FIL's house. The room must have about 300 dolls of varying sizes and dress stacked two deep on shelves. They belonged to my mother in law who had a hoarding problem and who sadly passed away a year and a half ago. The dolls are still here. We always sleep in this room during our twice yearly visits (important to DH to stay at his parents house) and while it has always been disturbing to me, for some reason on this visit they are really creeping me out even more than they usually do.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8gbM2Kr3RdI

[Anonymous]

LOL!! Boing = boiling

[Anonymous]

One bathroom here at my ILs'. On the back of the door hangs MIL's enema bag.