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the crazy expense of joining a synagogue!
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Anonymous
14:37 here (jewess), to 15:14: yes, I totally understand what you are saying. I know there are many ways to find a congregation and become involved. Since I have become an adult, though, i have always felt this tension or a psychological block or something (jewish guilt?  ), with how to start becoming involved in a congregation if I know that down the line $3000-4000 is not in the cards for us. I actually dont feel like my DH would not be welcome (he's not that interested in attending anyway), I know there are many congregations that reach out to mixed couples, multi-cultural, etc. I just feel uncomfortable with the situation. I have had somewhat sour experiences with synogogues where I paid as a 20-something for high holiday services, several hundred dollars, and no one even really reached out to me to become more involved in the community. I didnt even get a temple newsletter, just the next year a heads up "do you want to pay again for rosh hashana?". I take responsibility that there is definitely more I could have done on my part if i were committed to joining. Again, I am sure its more that they don't realize it than they are actively unwelcoming. Its just hard to take that first step.
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Anonymous
| I miss the time that congregation meant sharing a meal, talking about other's needs, meditating about our mission as human beings and how to reach for the less fortunate... |
Anonymous
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15:14 to 14:37 Thank you for your thoughtful answer. I have also struggled with internal conflict over the years about what kind of congregation to affiliate with and how religious I want to be, so I think I understand where you're coming from. If you are interested in checking out different possibilities, you may want to take a look at http://www.jirs.org/. Search for synagogue and you will find lots of options in the DC area--for example, I clicked on one for a Havurah that cost about 200 a year and is probably quite small and informal . . . Good luck whatever you decide. |
Anonymous
That paradigm isn't going to apply to all cultures. Jewish community obligations have always been more formal. |
Anonymous
It's not about culture, it's about human beings and our ego. |
Anonymous
It is about culture and cultural relevance. There was never any "time" when this was the extent of our congregational behavior. It is something that happens along the way as we fulfill our formalized obligations. You're suggesting a very Protestant Utopian idea of congregation. I've missed the connection to ego. Please explain. |
Anonymous
i'm not talking about denomination. i'm talking about what god wanted us to do when congregating as his "foks". as far as I remember levi's tribe used to eat from what the other tribes' members would bring as offers to the "temple" right? and god required 10% of the harvest/salary too. when did this "offer" become a fixed amount like mentioned before: 8k-10k? here is where ego comes... people want to offer to show off. people want to take advantage of such "offers" and donations for various reasons but RARELY they really want to do what we're supposed to - to watch for the orphan and the widow. do i hear the echoing of the word "ego"somewhere? sorry i don't know too much about judaism but i do know a little about what god wants from us... |
Anonymous
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I found funny Americans in today's world try to say that they follow the Judaic culture.
and hooray to our daily bacon and shrimp. ha ha ha |
Anonymous
| *fInd |
Anonymous
There are pleanty of churches (I can only speak as a protestant) that do that. Who do you think dominates charity and outreach? Have you ever attended a Methodist church who's events did not center around a potluck? Are you aware that there are churches all over the country that have tents set up in their sanctuary housing whole families who have lost their homes? I suppose not because I would guess that you make assumptions based on your own bias. |
Anonymous
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Another board member of a synagogue here (not the PP). We are a lefty liberal reform congregation operating on a very small budget, etc. I just wanted to point out a few things. First, remember that the congregations we are discussing here (and mine has a similar dues structure) use a "fair share" or progressive approach. No one is asking for a flat fee of anything approaching $8000. The rate is 2 percent of your income (with some deductions, adjustments, etc.). So, for the vast majority of people, it is only about 2 K a year. So it is only at high incomes that using that sort of dues structure can give you some high numbers. Second, no one is going to complain and/or check whether you are giving your 2 percent. It's really more of a suggestion than a rule, particularly at the high end. We are very active and high income, so our giving ends up at around $15k per year but that's very unusual.
Having said all that, I understand why someone who only wants to go to the place once or twice a year would be reluctant to pay that. In fact, we would not particularly want someone who only wants to come that seldom to commit to membership because they are not really acting as a member. To OP, I would follow the suggestions of others and look around for a place that you want to be more involved with and then, if you get more involved, join there. Otherwise, you might as well just stick to high holy days. To the PP who used to be active in a small community but felt lost here, I would suggest looking around, particularly at some of the smaller congregations in town. You might just not have found the right fit for you. I know there are congregations, including certainly my own, that would be very welcoming to your spouse. So maybe keep trying to find the right fit. |
Anonymous
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Wow, this is very enlightening to this midwestern Methodist. I wasn't aware about the restrictions against taking money on the Sabbath. That makes perfect sense to create dues as a logical way to collect money to fund the daily operations and upkeep of the temple.
Why the raised eyebrows from the other Christians about the exchange of money, then? We are accustomed to the concept of tithing and an offering plate every week. It's confidential to the degree you make it (give cash and it's completely opaque; write a check and they give you a tax statement yearly for your donation total). I'm curious, do you have to pay this fee upfront or can it be over time? That would be a big chunk of change to come up with annually. |
Anonymous
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Recovering Orthodox Jew here. It was interesting to read the Methodist poster a couple of pages back, about the church being the first line of response during a community crisis.
One of the things I disliked about the modern Orthodox synagogue growing up was that all of the charitable giving went to either Israel or the Associated Jewish CHarities. Nothing at all to the poor and needy communities in Baltimore, where we were. The rest of the money-- most of the money-- went for investments in the buildings and physical plant. I had my DD in a conservative synagogue preschool where the charitable system was the same. I asked about doing a community-based charity for the kids' education and they said no. I stopped buying holiday items for Israel and saved my daughter's "Tzedakah" money for charities that serve everyone. The JCC has been better. They do "bread for the city" events. Seems like there is a divide in this regard where charitable involvement is concerned, where reformed/more secular are focused more widely. I'm no longer very religious, but from what I can tell my friends' churches do a far better job of serving our community than the synagogues I've been involved with. |
Anonymous
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Most (all?) congregations will let you spread out your dues, and I don't know any who check to verify (or even ask) your income. In fact, I would be hesitant to join such a congregation. So you usually can pay the amount you can afford.
The comments from christians aren't that helpful since the system is so different.... |
Anonymous
| Just another perspective on synogogues being involved in the local community--when I grew up my temple did lots of community giving and outreach events and I know that to be true of many congregations in this area as well. |