Delicate fellowship situation

[Anonymous]

What kind of fruit was in the basket? Make a difference...

[Anonymous]

I thought this was a legitimate post until the fruit basket. Good one, troll poster.

[Anonymous]

^ I'm sad it's not real.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am shocked at the cynical comments when all I sought was info.

For your information, my "pet" went to a Top-14 law school. MPP? He went to a directional state school.

Also, any meeting "Pet" runs starts with an icebreaker and ends with a pleasant note of thanks to everyone for their participation.

MPP? On multiple occasions I have had to smooth over ruffled feelings because MPP highlighted some issue, be it a factual error or some sort of math thing. Rather than quietly tell me so I could decide whether to tell the person, he's just pass on the info. When it's someone in a much more powerful department, or someone with friends high up, that's really problematic.

You're shocked because you're so out of touch. I bet you're a peach to work for And add to that your condescending judgement about schools, clearly he's catching things that others missed- yet you frame this negatively!? If you'd rather he point out those mistakes in person, then you should communicate that to him and explain that people in your department are super sensitive about their work that's not even correct. I bet you have never even told him there is a problem. You sound like a crappy manager. Good luck in your newish role as head of the department- you've definitely already communicated to your staff that you play favorites...

This is OP. First of all, I find it outrageous that people attack MY capacity as a manager, without even working in my office. I will tell you that nobody talks to me this way in my office, and I have an open door (by appointment) policy for every staffer no matter how junior or inconsequential. In fact, I just received a "welcome back" fruit basket when I returned from three weeks attending conferences and seminars overseas -- and taking a WELL-deserved break. That doesn't happen when the boss is hated or disrespected.

I mentioned the situation to the attorney-advisor, and she's very excited. It turns out her father's firm has investments in the country, so she has accompanied him there on multiple occasions when she was younger. Anyway, I told her to gather her credentials and we'd work together. I have spoken to MPP, by the way, but he must be on the spectrum as all he can process is what's "correct" and "true".

Look, people can be sexist about my management style, as it values more feminine traits that are disrespected far too much. But I happen to believe an organization of friends does far better than one with a bunch of GoT-style MPPs who always have to play gotcha. And as Head of our Office, I have to promote and encourage those traits amongst my people. Career setbacks for people who don't get on board are simply unavoidable consequences.

So how did he respond when you told him you are promoting the attorney-adviser for the fellowship program?

I'm not telling him. How could I stand in the way of his constructing an application?

My role is to sign off on his participation. Unless he knocks my socks off, I'll just refuse to sign.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am shocked at the cynical comments when all I sought was info.

For your information, my "pet" went to a Top-14 law school. MPP? He went to a directional state school.

Also, any meeting "Pet" runs starts with an icebreaker and ends with a pleasant note of thanks to everyone for their participation.

MPP? On multiple occasions I have had to smooth over ruffled feelings because MPP highlighted some issue, be it a factual error or some sort of math thing. Rather than quietly tell me so I could decide whether to tell the person, he's just pass on the info. When it's someone in a much more powerful department, or someone with friends high up, that's really problematic.

You're shocked because you're so out of touch. I bet you're a peach to work for And add to that your condescending judgement about schools, clearly he's catching things that others missed- yet you frame this negatively!? If you'd rather he point out those mistakes in person, then you should communicate that to him and explain that people in your department are super sensitive about their work that's not even correct. I bet you have never even told him there is a problem. You sound like a crappy manager. Good luck in your newish role as head of the department- you've definitely already communicated to your staff that you play favorites...

This is OP. First of all, I find it outrageous that people attack MY capacity as a manager, without even working in my office. I will tell you that nobody talks to me this way in my office, and I have an open door (by appointment) policy for every staffer no matter how junior or inconsequential. In fact, I just received a "welcome back" fruit basket when I returned from three weeks attending conferences and seminars overseas -- and taking a WELL-deserved break. That doesn't happen when the boss is hated or disrespected.

I mentioned the situation to the attorney-advisor, and she's very excited. It turns out her father's firm has investments in the country, so she has accompanied him there on multiple occasions when she was younger. Anyway, I told her to gather her credentials and we'd work together. I have spoken to MPP, by the way, but he must be on the spectrum as all he can process is what's "correct" and "true".

Look, people can be sexist about my management style, as it values more feminine traits that are disrespected far too much. But I happen to believe an organization of friends does far better than one with a bunch of GoT-style MPPs who always have to play gotcha. And as Head of our Office, I have to promote and encourage those traits amongst my people. Career setbacks for people who don't get on board are simply unavoidable consequences.

Still not convinced this is real, but if it is -here's my response to your argument: It's not that I disagree about the importance of the qualities that you listed - it's that I don't recall you saying anything about her intelligence and her leadership qualities. So it looks like you value a nice smile and good notes over smarts and leadership ability. If that is so, this young woman needs to get another mentor because you sound a tad patronizing. Sorry, OP, I know you're trying to help someone you see as a valuable employee but that's just what comes across to me

[Anonymous]

A fruit basket? We send fruit baskets for the lame bosses. The good ones get Edible Arrangements.

[Anonymous]

Cracking up.

I like that you are "Head of your Office" (capitalized) and are willing to make appointments "even with inconsequential staff".

Oh yeah, you sound awesome.

Our CEO just got back from a 2 month sabbatical. We all fought about whether we had to do something, like throw a party to welcome them back. We decided to put a basket of muffins on the kitchen table in the office for breakfast and all sign a card. None of us like this boss.

I don't know you, but you either communicate really poorly or you're an ass.

[Anonymous]

The ones get Godiva chocolates!

[Anonymous]

You call staff "inconsequential" and "on the spectrum"??? You need sensitivity training at the very least. Or maybe a deep look inside at why you're so mean. But you'll probably get fired before that.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I already said the attorney-advisor has a JD from a Top-14 law school. Obviously she's highly intelligent.

She's not just intelligent-intelligent, she's EMOTIONALLY intelligent. She knows how to make her points, she takes down exacting notes so she can make those points, and she does it a smile over a bite of her Great Great Great GrandMammy's delicious Georgia Peach Cobbler.

THAT'S why she should get the fellowship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I already said the attorney-advisor has a JD from a Top-14 law school. Obviously she's highly intelligent.

She's not just intelligent-intelligent, she's EMOTIONALLY intelligent. She knows how to make her points, she takes down exacting notes so she can make those points, and she does it a smile over a bite of her Great Great Great GrandMammy's delicious Georgia Peach Cobbler.

THAT'S why she should get the fellowship.

And it's delicious AND healthy - give her a raise!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What kind of fruit was in the basket? Make a difference...

Bananas?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm calling troll on this post.

It is truly one of the most idiotic, rambling posts I have ever read here. As they say, seek therapy....

[Anonymous]

I think OP has a crush on the attonery-advisor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mental, just mental. Fruit basket for the basket case? This is either a troll or someone with NPD.

Deplorable

Basket of deplorables. Dying now. This is why I can't quit DCUM.