Delicate fellowship situation

[Anonymous]

^ I am female, BTW.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am shocked at the cynical comments when all I sought was info.

For your information, my "pet" went to a Top-14 law school. MPP? He went to a directional state school.

Also, any meeting "Pet" runs starts with an icebreaker and ends with a pleasant note of thanks to everyone for their participation.

MPP? On multiple occasions I have had to smooth over ruffled feelings because MPP highlighted some issue, be it a factual error or some sort of math thing. Rather than quietly tell me so I could decide whether to tell the person, he's just pass on the info. When it's someone in a much more powerful department, or someone with friends high up, that's really problematic.

You're shocked because you're so out of touch. I bet you're a peach to work for And add to that your condescending judgement about schools, clearly he's catching things that others missed- yet you frame this negatively!? If you'd rather he point out those mistakes in person, then you should communicate that to him and explain that people in your department are super sensitive about their work that's not even correct. I bet you have never even told him there is a problem. You sound like a crappy manager. Good luck in your newish role as head of the department- you've definitely already communicated to your staff that you play favorites...

This is OP. First of all, I find it outrageous that people attack MY capacity as a manager, without even working in my office. I will tell you that nobody talks to me this way in my office, and I have an open door (by appointment) policy for every staffer no matter how junior or inconsequential. In fact, I just received a "welcome back" fruit basket when I returned from three weeks attending conferences and seminars overseas -- and taking a WELL-deserved break. That doesn't happen when the boss is hated or disrespected.

I mentioned the situation to the attorney-advisor, and she's very excited. It turns out her father's firm has investments in the country, so she has accompanied him there on multiple occasions when she was younger. Anyway, I told her to gather her credentials and we'd work together. I have spoken to MPP, by the way, but he must be on the spectrum as all he can process is what's "correct" and "true".

Look, people can be sexist about my management style, as it values more feminine traits that are disrespected far too much. But I happen to believe an organization of friends does far better than one with a bunch of GoT-style MPPs who always have to play gotcha. And as Head of our Office, I have to promote and encourage those traits amongst my people. Career setbacks for people who don't get on board are simply unavoidable consequences.

[Anonymous]

A fruit basket from the office just means that you have a really competent secretary/office coordinator. That or people know how to brown nose you.

[Anonymous]

No the fruit basket happens when you have a crazy supervisor who demands respect for random things and it is in your own interest to keep the supervisor mentally stable which may require a fruit basket and a meeting (by appointment) to tell supervisor what an amazing supervisor she is-- all the while hoping the supervisor gets fired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm calling troll on this post.

Where do these people have the time?
Either it's real, or this lengthy op is the lonliest troll there ever was.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, it's not fun anymore.

[Anonymous]

So you have a "very technically skilled" MPP (from your original post) who did the leg work to find this fellowship and you're going to hand it on a platter to your protégé who never questions authority.
I hope he calls ethics on you.

[Anonymous]

Mental, just mental. Fruit basket for the basket case? This is either a troll or someone with NPD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mental, just mental. Fruit basket for the basket case? This is either a troll or someone with NPD.

Deplorable

[Anonymous]

lol. fruit basket.

yes, of course you should recommend the lawyer who signs up for pot lucks and takes good notes.

[Anonymous]

This can't be real, can it?

[Anonymous]

It's a sarcastic exaggeration (maybe written by the MPP), but this management style is real.

[Anonymous]

Why not let candidates apply and see who gets accepted?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am shocked at the cynical comments when all I sought was info.

For your information, my "pet" went to a Top-14 law school. MPP? He went to a directional state school.

Also, any meeting "Pet" runs starts with an icebreaker and ends with a pleasant note of thanks to everyone for their participation.

MPP? On multiple occasions I have had to smooth over ruffled feelings because MPP highlighted some issue, be it a factual error or some sort of math thing. Rather than quietly tell me so I could decide whether to tell the person, he's just pass on the info. When it's someone in a much more powerful department, or someone with friends high up, that's really problematic.

You're shocked because you're so out of touch. I bet you're a peach to work for And add to that your condescending judgement about schools, clearly he's catching things that others missed- yet you frame this negatively!? If you'd rather he point out those mistakes in person, then you should communicate that to him and explain that people in your department are super sensitive about their work that's not even correct. I bet you have never even told him there is a problem. You sound like a crappy manager. Good luck in your newish role as head of the department- you've definitely already communicated to your staff that you play favorites...

This is OP. First of all, I find it outrageous that people attack MY capacity as a manager, without even working in my office. I will tell you that nobody talks to me this way in my office, and I have an open door (by appointment) policy for every staffer no matter how junior or inconsequential. In fact, I just received a "welcome back" fruit basket when I returned from three weeks attending conferences and seminars overseas -- and taking a WELL-deserved break. That doesn't happen when the boss is hated or disrespected.

I mentioned the situation to the attorney-advisor, and she's very excited. It turns out her father's firm has investments in the country, so she has accompanied him there on multiple occasions when she was younger. Anyway, I told her to gather her credentials and we'd work together. I have spoken to MPP, by the way, but he must be on the spectrum as all he can process is what's "correct" and "true".

Look, people can be sexist about my management style, as it values more feminine traits that are disrespected far too much. But I happen to believe an organization of friends does far better than one with a bunch of GoT-style MPPs who always have to play gotcha. And as Head of our Office, I have to promote and encourage those traits amongst my people. Career setbacks for people who don't get on board are simply unavoidable consequences.

So how did he respond when you told him you are promoting the attorney-adviser for the fellowship program?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am shocked at the cynical comments when all I sought was info.

For your information, my "pet" went to a Top-14 law school. MPP? He went to a directional state school.

Also, any meeting "Pet" runs starts with an icebreaker and ends with a pleasant note of thanks to everyone for their participation.

MPP? On multiple occasions I have had to smooth over ruffled feelings because MPP highlighted some issue, be it a factual error or some sort of math thing. Rather than quietly tell me so I could decide whether to tell the person, he's just pass on the info. When it's someone in a much more powerful department, or someone with friends high up, that's really problematic.

You're shocked because you're so out of touch. I bet you're a peach to work for And add to that your condescending judgement about schools, clearly he's catching things that others missed- yet you frame this negatively!? If you'd rather he point out those mistakes in person, then you should communicate that to him and explain that people in your department are super sensitive about their work that's not even correct. I bet you have never even told him there is a problem. You sound like a crappy manager. Good luck in your newish role as head of the department- you've definitely already communicated to your staff that you play favorites...

This is OP. First of all, I find it outrageous that people attack MY capacity as a manager, without even working in my office. I will tell you that nobody talks to me this way in my office, and I have an open door (by appointment) policy for every staffer no matter how junior or inconsequential. In fact, I just received a "welcome back" fruit basket when I returned from three weeks attending conferences and seminars overseas -- and taking a WELL-deserved break. That doesn't happen when the boss is hated or disrespected.

I mentioned the situation to the attorney-advisor, and she's very excited. It turns out her father's firm has investments in the country, so she has accompanied him there on multiple occasions when she was younger. Anyway, I told her to gather her credentials and we'd work together. I have spoken to MPP, by the way, but he must be on the spectrum as all he can process is what's "correct" and "true".

Look, people can be sexist about my management style, as it values more feminine traits that are disrespected far too much. But I happen to believe an organization of friends does far better than one with a bunch of GoT-style MPPs who always have to play gotcha. And as Head of our Office, I have to promote and encourage those traits amongst my people. Career setbacks for people who don't get on board are simply unavoidable consequences.

Sorry you didn't get the responses you expected. Perhaps you should like have some introspection about why all these people are responding the way they are....

I hope MPP starts documenting everything you do and brings either an ethics case or a discrimination case against you.