Son won't stop dumping out soap

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the great ideas and links. I'll be sure to implement some of these. As for discipline, we do positive discipline and do not do punishments or time outs in our house.

Er, we also don't do any punishments-- but we do have boundaries. That's the missing link here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the great ideas and links. I'll be sure to implement some of these. As for discipline, we do positive discipline and do not do punishments or time outs in our house.

The purpose of discipline is not for YOU to control him. The purpose of discipline is to teach him how to control himself. By allowing him to climb on shelves, refuse to use liquid soap and cause monetary damage, and you are making it very difficult for him to learn to respect boundaries and authority. This is a skill he will need in order to navigate the rest of his life. You cannot start to teach this when he's 10 or 12 or 15. By then it is too late and you will have a monster on your hands.

I totally agree with this. I can't stand it when people are advised to discipline their child and they respond with "Sorry, but i don't believe in spanking" or whatever extreme they can think of. There are a million positive ways to teach your kid how to act and follow the rules. "If you continue doing that, you will lose X" -- then they should think to themselves, i don't want to lose that so I'll stop. That is the job of the parent. If not now, when?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the great ideas and links. I'll be sure to implement some of these. As for discipline, we do positive discipline and do not do punishments or time outs in our house.

The purpose of discipline is not for YOU to control him. The purpose of discipline is to teach him how to control himself. By allowing him to climb on shelves, refuse to use liquid soap and cause monetary damage, and you are making it very difficult for him to learn to respect boundaries and authority. This is a skill he will need in order to navigate the rest of his life. You cannot start to teach this when he's 10 or 12 or 15. By then it is too late and you will have a monster on your hands.

I totally agree with this. I can't stand it when people are advised to discipline their child and they respond with "Sorry, but i don't believe in spanking" or whatever extreme they can think of. There are a million positive ways to teach your kid how to act and follow the rules. "If you continue doing that, you will lose X" -- then they should think to themselves, i don't want to lose that so I'll stop. That is the job of the parent. If not now, when?

Yes to both of these. I don't do spankings or time-outs either, but if I tell my children no dumping soap, they understand that I mean what I say and they are not to dump the soap. It is not fair to your child not to create boundaries and simply allow him to do what he wants (i.e. climb shelves to get to the soap). The period of development between 1 and 6 is the most critical. If you don't instill discipline (and I mean internal, knows to respect the boundaries type discipline, not spankings type discipline) at that age, it's extremely difficult to turn it around later. You will have major problems in the future.

You can do this! Be that authority your son needs to be.

[Anonymous]

^^needs you to be**

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Use bar soap instead.

He wont use bar soap to wash his hands so we have to use liquid.

Tuff, use bar soap until you can behave.

+1 op, if you can't parent your way through this, you've got a tough road ahead.

[Anonymous]

If you use a hair tye/rubber band tight on the neck of the pumper it slows it down. Many teachers use this on hand sanitizer

[Anonymous]

Instead of coming up with ways to tie down the soap, superglue it, etc. teach your son to respect your authority and the fact that when you say no, that is that This will serve him much better in life than simply "baby-proofing" the things you don't want him to get at. Yes, let him play with the soap in a controlled environment (I really like the bath idea). Let him experiment with the soap. But your son NEEDS boundaries. You are not setting him up for success, not now and not in 10 years, if you simply change the environment to suit him, not the other way around.

If you can't set boundaries with a four year old and soap, what is it going to be like when he's 16 and it's something much bigger than soap? Get this under control NOW or you are in for a loooong road ahead. seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, try this:

Get three of four cheap dispensers (some clear, some white), pour half of each into your refill jug, and put food coloring in the remaining amounts. Pop naked kid in the bathtub with the dispensers and tell him that you will be peeking in every few minutes. Rules are as follows: bottom must stay on the tub floor, soap has to stay in the tub or on the back wall, no soap on his face, anything else goes. Any deviation from that and he has to be rinsed off and get out.

Use it as a reward, roughly every 2-4 weeks. It'll satisfy his curiosity and creativity, your tub and shower will (kind of) get washed, and your child will (kind of) be clean.

Not op but this sounds like a good idea!

I'm totally doing this. I've also seen where you can add a little bit of corn starch so it becomes more opaque and like soapy finger paint.

21.48 here. That works. I like doing the white and clear soaps (switching them up) because it changes the colors each time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 4 yo DS is obsessed with liquid soap and frequently plays with it when we do not monitor closely in the bathroom; for example, during meal prep or while putting toddler down for a nap. He will plug the sink, unscrew the soap dispenser, dump in soap, and add water to see what happens. How can I curb this behavior without locking the bathroom and making it off-limits? This has been going on for 6 months and is getting very expensive. Any advice appreciated!

Um..tell him NO?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Instead of coming up with ways to tie down the soap, superglue it, etc. teach your son to respect your authority and the fact that when you say no, that is that This will serve him much better in life than simply "baby-proofing" the things you don't want him to get at. Yes, let him play with the soap in a controlled environment (I really like the bath idea). Let him experiment with the soap. But your son NEEDS boundaries. You are not setting him up for success, not now and not in 10 years, if you simply change the environment to suit him, not the other way around.

If you can't set boundaries with a four year old and soap, what is it going to be like when he's 16 and it's something much bigger than soap? Get this under control NOW or you are in for a loooong road ahead. seriously.

+1 that was my first thought reading through thi sthread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Use bar soap instead.

He wont use bar soap to wash his hands so we have to use liquid.

LoL. Parent of the year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Use bar soap instead.

He wont use bar soap to wash his hands so we have to use liquid.

He "won't"? Be a freakin' parent, op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the great ideas and links. I'll be sure to implement some of these. As for discipline, we do positive discipline and do not do punishments or time outs in our house.

And therein lies your problem. You're not doing your special snowflake any favors

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the great ideas and links. I'll be sure to implement some of these. As for discipline, we do positive discipline and do not do punishments or time outs in our house.

Your poor child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the great ideas and links. I'll be sure to implement some of these. As for discipline, we do positive discipline and do not do punishments or time outs in our house.

Er, we also don't do any punishments-- but we do have boundaries. That's the missing link here.

What happens when the boundary is crossed?