Public vs Private (Please weigh in and help us make a decision)

[Anonymous]

I'm curious as to which private 17;14 is using. My understanding is that most don't "get" gifted and prefer their classes to be fairly homogenous in abilities.

FWIW, DC's PK teacher told us he was one of the smartest kids she'd seen in more than twenty years of teaching (sure enough he ended up testing in the high 130s on the WISC, though it sounds like OP's son is more profoundly gifted). She didn't suggest private. DC's K-3 years were mediocre at best - fairly good socially, but he was bored and the most teachers didn't get him. The upper graders were better because there were more opportunities for independent work, though still not optimal. This was at a highly regarded public that doesn't have G&T, though I've heard very mixed things about quality of AYP,

I'm not sure what the solution is for these kids other than to muddle through.

[Anonymous]

OP: you should really educate yourself about what gifted is, and isn't and what works, and doesn't. And what MCPS will provide, or not. There is a reason FCPS & MCPS don't start full time gifted instruction in K or 1st. FCPS does supplementation and pullout only that early. And that's because it's hard to figure out before 3rd grade whether a kid is gifted. Early reader? Maybe gifted, maybe not. Asynchronous development? Much more likely to be gifted. Privates will have smaller classes, but will not really differentiate, and can't/don't want to deal with the asynchronous development/ 2e issues that your child could have. At a bare minimum, I read your description of your child, and see an ADHD kid. Privates also don't want to deal with that, especially when it becomes a 2e issue. You need to do some research here. It sounds counterintuitive, but MCPS may very well be in the best position to support and differentiate for your DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the pk teacher advice is a red herring. In my area (Silver Spring) the preschool teachers never advised any of the parents that their children needed private school, because there are fewer private schools around here, parents generally have less disposable income, and private school just isn't as much of a thing. The parents of the really brilliant children were told to try to get them into the highly gifted centers starting in 3rd grade. Your teacher probably told you what parents of similar children in your area have chosen to do in the past, not what is appropriate or most practical for you to choose now.

I'm in Downtown SS and was told the same thing. Not having had the same experience is not the same as "this never happens to anyone here."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: you should really educate yourself about what gifted is, and isn't and what works, and doesn't. And what MCPS will provide, or not. There is a reason FCPS & MCPS don't start full time gifted instruction in K or 1st. FCPS does supplementation and pullout only that early. And that's because it's hard to figure out before 3rd grade whether a kid is gifted. Early reader? Maybe gifted, maybe not. Asynchronous development? Much more likely to be gifted. Privates will have smaller classes, but will not really differentiate, and can't/don't want to deal with the asynchronous development/ 2e issues that your child could have. At a bare minimum, I read your description of your child, and see an ADHD kid. Privates also don't want to deal with that, especially when it becomes a 2e issue. You need to do some research here. It sounds counterintuitive, but MCPS may very well be in the best position to support and differentiate for your DC.

I appreciate the feedback about asynchronous and 2e. I'd be happy to look into it further, though I'll admit I am not at all familiar with the term 2e--anyone care to let me in?

Also, I am a little troubled by the arm-chair diagnosis of my kid. I didn't provide one tenth of the info that would be required to assess for ADHD (to be clear he has zero issue with task completion, outbursts, fidgets only within specific circumstances, no distractibility across domains, is considered attentive and a good listener with not working on math and reading below his skill level...and--most importantly, no psychosocial interference). Sorry, I am sure you mean well, but I didn't come to this forum to see if my bright attentive (when challenged) learner has a condition diagnosable in the DSM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the pk teacher advice is a red herring. In my area (Silver Spring) the preschool teachers never advised any of the parents that their children needed private school, because there are fewer private schools around here, parents generally have less disposable income, and private school just isn't as much of a thing. The parents of the really brilliant children were told to try to get them into the highly gifted centers starting in 3rd grade. Your teacher probably told you what parents of similar children in your area have chosen to do in the past, not what is appropriate or most practical for you to choose now.

I'm in Downtown SS and was told the same thing. Not having had the same experience is not the same as "this never happens to anyone here."

Interesting. Where are all the private schools in Silver Spring? The only options nearby us are public and Catholic. To be honest I don't hear people in my area taking about private school as a solution for highly gifted kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the pk teacher advice is a red herring. In my area (Silver Spring) the preschool teachers never advised any of the parents that their children needed private school, because there are fewer private schools around here, parents generally have less disposable income, and private school just isn't as much of a thing. The parents of the really brilliant children were told to try to get them into the highly gifted centers starting in 3rd grade. Your teacher probably told you what parents of similar children in your area have chosen to do in the past, not what is appropriate or most practical for you to choose now.

I'm in Downtown SS and was told the same thing. Not having had the same experience is not the same as "this never happens to anyone here."

Interesting. Where are all the private schools in Silver Spring? The only options nearby us are public and Catholic. To be honest I don't hear people in my area taking about private school as a solution for highly gifted kids.

We were told to look at a couple of places in Rockville (they call them north bethesda, but come on...) like Green Acres and Feynman. We weren't told specific schools in SS, even though that is where we live. Another parent/good friend at a different PK, this time SSDS, was told that Friends in College Park would probably be a great fit because her DD seemed to thrive in small groups. IDK, seems common enough that the recs are made, but I agree that most of the SS moms I know stay public/local.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS is 5 yo and scored in the 99.8% across domains on the WPSI. I know, not the biggest deal (socially and emotionally the kid is definitely a standard issue 5 year old) but we are trying to make some good decisions for him and our family and I think I am losing my mind trying to balance all the variables. We have been accepted in, and offered a generous financial aid package, at a very well-regarded private school. We also live in Montgomery County and have excellent schools in our neighborhood.

If we go the private route, we will still be on board for approx 6-7 k a year. Obviously, there is no expense for our neighborhood school. Also, the private school is a haul on the beltway (can take anywhere from 15 minutes to 17 hours depending on the mornings traffic). I love the idea of our neighborhood PTA and a cohesive neighborhood school experience...but...DS is in PK now and his current teacher has been pretty emphatic that he needs an accelerated and differentiated learning curriculum both to foster his growth and to keep him from becoming a behavioral issue. The school we have been accepted into looks fun, engaging, really delightful...but is it necessary?

We can absolutely supplement at home, but there are still the several hours a day he is in school...does anyone have any feedback on having gone through the hand-wringing over making this decision and have some rear-view advice they can offer?

Thank you!

Do it and don't look back. I had son with similar profile and didn't listen to preschool teacher advice. MCPS was a disaster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I go the other way..start in public. See how it goes. If it works you get the benefits of the neighbor hood school and the cost savings. I am sure he will be accepted privately again with high test scores and after a year of K you might know more about his learning style/interests etc when choosing where to apply.

You're "sure"? I think not.

OP here. This has been a big part of our hand-wringing. How likely is it that we are blowing an opportunity if we start in public? Does it actually get more difficult to matriculate into a private school if we start, say, in third grade or 5th?

Yes, more difficult plus your child will only be actively learning for a small portion of school day, rest of time will be spent reading to self or helping other kids. Meanwhile private kids will be learning grammar, spelling, potentially foreign language and music. My bright child eventually disengaged and hated school. Private turned him around but would have been much better experience if we had an opportunity like yours! Be thankful and go for it! Haven't you already had to commit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. The money is a real consideration. 7k is doable, but definitely means sacrifice. We're cool with making sacrifices for our kid, but we have two younger ones, too, and all of this needs to be part of a long-term plan.

I appreciate all the feedback, too!

Odds are if you received FA for number 1, you'll receive it for others too if you decide private is best route.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Put him in the private for K-3. Test in HGC if he is still ahead by then.

Ditto

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I go the other way..start in public. See how it goes. If it works you get the benefits of the neighbor hood school and the cost savings. I am sure he will be accepted privately again with high test scores and after a year of K you might know more about his learning style/interests etc when choosing where to apply.

You're "sure"? I think not.

OP here. This has been a big part of our hand-wringing. How likely is it that we are blowing an opportunity if we start in public? Does it actually get more difficult to matriculate into a private school if we start, say, in third grade or 5th?

Yes, more difficult plus your child will only be actively learning for a small portion of school day, rest of time will be spent reading to self or helping other kids. Meanwhile private kids will be learning grammar, spelling, potentially foreign language and music. My bright child eventually disengaged and hated school. Private turned him around but would have been much better experience if we had an opportunity like yours! Be thankful and go for it! Haven't you already had to commit?

We did. We wrote the check on friday...at 459pm . This post was a last minute "are we sure we are doing the right thing..." but I feel good about it, no buyers remorse yet!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious as to which private 17;14 is using. My understanding is that most don't "get" gifted and prefer their classes to be fairly homogenous in abilities.

FWIW, DC's PK teacher told us he was one of the smartest kids she'd seen in more than twenty years of teaching (sure enough he ended up testing in the high 130s on the WISC, though it sounds like OP's son is more profoundly gifted). She didn't suggest private. DC's K-3 years were mediocre at best - fairly good socially, but he was bored and the most teachers didn't get him. The upper graders were better because there were more opportunities for independent work, though still not optimal. This was at a highly regarded public that doesn't have G&T, though I've heard very mixed things about quality of AYP,

I'm not sure what the solution is for these kids other than to muddle through.

The solution is private early on, then magnet programs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I go the other way..start in public. See how it goes. If it works you get the benefits of the neighbor hood school and the cost savings. I am sure he will be accepted privately again with high test scores and after a year of K you might know more about his learning style/interests etc when choosing where to apply.

You're "sure"? I think not.

OP here. This has been a big part of our hand-wringing. How likely is it that we are blowing an opportunity if we start in public? Does it actually get more difficult to matriculate into a private school if we start, say, in third grade or 5th?

Yes, more difficult plus your child will only be actively learning for a small portion of school day, rest of time will be spent reading to self or helping other kids. Meanwhile private kids will be learning grammar, spelling, potentially foreign language and music. My bright child eventually disengaged and hated school. Private turned him around but would have been much better experience if we had an opportunity like yours! Be thankful and go for it! Haven't you already had to commit?

We did. We wrote the check on friday...at 459pm . This post was a last minute "are we sure we are doing the right thing..." but I feel good about it, no buyers remorse yet!

So glad to hear! I wrote the last few posts - your situation was déjà vu but we didn't have the opportunity you have at the time! Congrats and enjoy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I go the other way..start in public. See how it goes. If it works you get the benefits of the neighbor hood school and the cost savings. I am sure he will be accepted privately again with high test scores and after a year of K you might know more about his learning style/interests etc when choosing where to apply.

You're "sure"? I think not.

OP here. This has been a big part of our hand-wringing. How likely is it that we are blowing an opportunity if we start in public? Does it actually get more difficult to matriculate into a private school if we start, say, in third grade or 5th?

Yes, more difficult plus your child will only be actively learning for a small portion of school day, rest of time will be spent reading to self or helping other kids. Meanwhile private kids will be learning grammar, spelling, potentially foreign language and music. My bright child eventually disengaged and hated school. Private turned him around but would have been much better experience if we had an opportunity like yours! Be thankful and go for it! Haven't you already had to commit?

This plain isn't accurate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I go the other way..start in public. See how it goes. If it works you get the benefits of the neighbor hood school and the cost savings. I am sure he will be accepted privately again with high test scores and after a year of K you might know more about his learning style/interests etc when choosing where to apply.

You're "sure"? I think not.

OP here. This has been a big part of our hand-wringing. How likely is it that we are blowing an opportunity if we start in public? Does it actually get more difficult to matriculate into a private school if we start, say, in third grade or 5th?

Yes, more difficult plus your child will only be actively learning for a small portion of school day, rest of time will be spent reading to self or helping other kids. Meanwhile private kids will be learning grammar, spelling, potentially foreign language and music. My bright child eventually disengaged and hated school. Private turned him around but would have been much better experience if we had an opportunity like yours! Be thankful and go for it! Haven't you already had to commit?

We did. We wrote the check on friday...at 459pm . This post was a last minute "are we sure we are doing the right thing..." but I feel good about it, no buyers remorse yet!

So glad to hear! I wrote the last few posts - your situation was déjà vu but we didn't have the opportunity you have at the time! Congrats and enjoy!

Thank you again for all the helpful information!