Public vs Private (Please weigh in and help us make a decision)

[Anonymous]

I would go the private route based on what his PK teacher said. And the amount you would be paying is relatively nothing. Try out the private and see if you like it. If the commute is too much and you don't like the community, you can always switch him to public school.

[Anonymous]

I think the pk teacher advice is a red herring. In my area (Silver Spring) the preschool teachers never advised any of the parents that their children needed private school, because there are fewer private schools around here, parents generally have less disposable income, and private school just isn't as much of a thing. The parents of the really brilliant children were told to try to get them into the highly gifted centers starting in 3rd grade. Your teacher probably told you what parents of similar children in your area have chosen to do in the past, not what is appropriate or most practical for you to choose now.

[Anonymous]

start with public. you live in one of the best school districts in the country and you have 2 littler kids. one of them may actually NEED private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it isn't about your aspirations, but your child's needs. The major difference between public and private is the classroom. In public, the ratios are quite different - there are usually 25-29 children per classroom and 1 teacher in MCPS. 20 minutes of recess. PE 1x/week. Limited music & art instruction as well. Long day of school. In terms of content, I actually do not think there is a huge difference between most public schools and most private schools. BUT...in public school, many schools have a cap - a cap on how far through the material a child can go, a cap on reading levels. Additionally, with the teacher/student ratio, there is a fair amount of time spent with teachers expecting students to sit still and work on work sheets.

The real question is, how does your child do in these circumstances? Some children are fine in any environment, regardless of their intelligence. Some children really struggle with sitting still and work sheets, and if they are also highly intelligent and there is a cap being placed on what they can learn, that struggle sitting still does turn to boredom and behavioral issues.

Sometimes, the right choice is to give public a try and see how it goes. For others, the early years are the important ones for private school - the smaller class sizes, the ability to individualize education, the greater amount of physical activity and hands-on engagement that translate into a love of learning are the important points. I think if you believe your child needs this last point, then the offer you have is wonderful, and you are likely to appreciate that opportunity. Transitioning to good public schools later, when smaller classes become less important can always be an option.

But, if your primary reason is advanced academics...very few private schools really do offer acclerated learning, although they do seem to do a better job of interactive and engaged learning than public schools right now.

This is spot on. We are in public, and the first paragraph has been my problem with it. However, we are very happy socially, we don't need to drive far, and school is free. I really think PP said it all very well.

[Anonymous]

I would like to know more about why the pre-K teacher emphatically recommends private school.

There's a difference between gifted, highly gifted, and different gradations that are higher, which could cause private (the right private) to be a better choice for your child.

However, you seem to be saying he is pretty much a "regular kid" socially.

Could you explain more both about what the pre-K teacher said about her reasons for her recommendation, and also more about your son's socializing with his peers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it isn't about your aspirations, but your child's needs. The major difference between public and private is the classroom. In public, the ratios are quite different - there are usually 25-29 children per classroom and 1 teacher in MCPS. 20 minutes of recess. PE 1x/week. Limited music & art instruction as well. Long day of school. In terms of content, I actually do not think there is a huge difference between most public schools and most private schools. BUT...in public school, many schools have a cap - a cap on how far through the material a child can go, a cap on reading levels. Additionally, with the teacher/student ratio, there is a fair amount of time spent with teachers expecting students to sit still and work on work sheets.

The real question is, how does your child do in these circumstances? Some children are fine in any environment, regardless of their intelligence. Some children really struggle with sitting still and work sheets, and if they are also highly intelligent and there is a cap being placed on what they can learn, that struggle sitting still does turn to boredom and behavioral issues.

Sometimes, the right choice is to give public a try and see how it goes. For others, the early years are the important ones for private school - the smaller class sizes, the ability to individualize education, the greater amount of physical activity and hands-on engagement that translate into a love of learning are the important points. I think if you believe your child needs this last point, then the offer you have is wonderful, and you are likely to appreciate that opportunity. Transitioning to good public schools later, when smaller classes become less important can always be an option.

But, if your primary reason is advanced academics...very few private schools really do offer acclerated learning, although they do seem to do a better job of interactive and engaged learning than public schools right now.

This is actually very good preparation for the real world!!

[Anonymous]

I would definitely not choose private. My parents and my in-laws were once in a similar position as you. My parents chose public and his chose private. Looking back my husband thinks they made the wrong decision and sacrificed too much financially. In fact they haven't even retired yet. They spent close to a million dollars educating their children. I wouldn't find this as ridiculous if they didn't have decent public schools to choose from but they did. It sounds like you also have decent public schools. I would supplement and really stay on top of your child's education. Like others mentioned you have two other children. It will mean a lot more to your kids to be able to travel as a family, attend summer camp etc. if your son were an only child or you expected a huge pay increase over the next few years I may consider it. Life is stressful enough and with three kids I wouldn't add a tuition payment on top of it. If anything just increase college savings. Higher education will benefit your child a lot more than a private k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would like to know more about why the pre-K teacher emphatically recommends private school.

There's a difference between gifted, highly gifted, and different gradations that are higher, which could cause private (the right private) to be a better choice for your child.

However, you seem to be saying he is pretty much a "regular kid" socially.

Could you explain more both about what the pre-K teacher said about her reasons for her recommendation, and also more about your son's socializing with his peers?

But what private school actually caters to academically advanced kindergarteners? We didn't find one.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Really good points, particularly about making the decision based on an assessment of child's needs instead of our aspirations.

Regarding the Pre-K teacher who made the recommendations: she pulled us aside and told us that he was very bright, far ahead of his peers, and he gets bored easily. According to her he isn't terribly disruptive, but he simply "tunes out". The example she gave initially: the class was doing number recognition and she couldn't get DS to focus. She then separated him from the group, provided him with some addition and subtraction exercises, counting by tens, and--ultimately multiplication of small numbers. She said she was shocked and has been delighted by his daily requests after that to "play math games."

That was early in Pre-K. Same kind of thing with reading. He got bored, would make some weird sounds, be "silly" when she was working on letter recognition. So she gave him books to read. He's read since he was three, but she noted that his ability to read chapter books from cover to cover was something we needed to be aware of when working out our next school. She said that because he tunes out so easily when bored, we might find he develops behavioral issues if he isnt in a situation where his learning is at least somewhat differentiated with like peers.

But yeah, he is a totally normal 5 year old socially and emotionally. I don't want to see him skip a grade and have trouble fitting in when he isnt as mature as his peers. So...I really think (based on late night discussions with DH and the really helpful feedback here) we are going to take advantage of the FA offer and give it a go. If it seems like overkill, we can always transfer in first or second.

It is incredible to me some of the PPs noted their families paid close to a million $$ for school before even accounting for college. That simply isnt something we could do. We are lowly civil servants so money will always be a consideration, but I am so afraid that kiddo will develop bad habits if he is in a large and busy class. I know that learning to focus is important, but the idea of kiddo thriving in part thanks to smaller class sizes really resonates with me and DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would like to know more about why the pre-K teacher emphatically recommends private school.

There's a difference between gifted, highly gifted, and different gradations that are higher, which could cause private (the right private) to be a better choice for your child.

However, you seem to be saying he is pretty much a "regular kid" socially.

Could you explain more both about what the pre-K teacher said about her reasons for her recommendation, and also more about your son's socializing with his peers?

But what private school actually caters to academically advanced kindergarteners? We didn't find one.

Niesmith and Feynman

[Anonymous]

There are smart children at public school too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Really good points, particularly about making the decision based on an assessment of child's needs instead of our aspirations.

Regarding the Pre-K teacher who made the recommendations: she pulled us aside and told us that he was very bright, far ahead of his peers, and he gets bored easily. According to her he isn't terribly disruptive, but he simply "tunes out". The example she gave initially: the class was doing number recognition and she couldn't get DS to focus. She then separated him from the group, provided him with some addition and subtraction exercises, counting by tens, and--ultimately multiplication of small numbers. She said she was shocked and has been delighted by his daily requests after that to "play math games."

That was early in Pre-K. Same kind of thing with reading. He got bored, would make some weird sounds, be "silly" when she was working on letter recognition. So she gave him books to read. He's read since he was three, but she noted that his ability to read chapter books from cover to cover was something we needed to be aware of when working out our next school. She said that because he tunes out so easily when bored, we might find he develops behavioral issues if he isnt in a situation where his learning is at least somewhat differentiated with like peers.

But yeah, he is a totally normal 5 year old socially and emotionally. I don't want to see him skip a grade and have trouble fitting in when he isnt as mature as his peers. So...I really think (based on late night discussions with DH and the really helpful feedback here) we are going to take advantage of the FA offer and give it a go. If it seems like overkill, we can always transfer in first or second.

It is incredible to me some of the PPs noted their families paid close to a million $$ for school before even accounting for college. That simply isnt something we could do. We are lowly civil servants so money will always be a consideration, but I am so afraid that kiddo will develop bad habits if he is in a large and busy class. I know that learning to focus is important, but the idea of kiddo thriving in part thanks to smaller class sizes really resonates with me and DH.

Well assuming tuition never increases and you receive the same financial aid each you'll be spending around 100k to educate your son. You'll probably feel this way about the other two children as well. So 300k. Invest that money and enjoy it in retirement or use for college tuition.

Look unless the public school is a bad school there isn't any reason to send your child to private. Maybe there are more kids in a class but guess what...there are a lot of students in freshman college classes as well. Your child won't even remember kindergarten.

Fwiw I switched from private to public. In late elementary school. My parents completely wasted their money. However my public school was a really great school and my parents supplemented my education with overseas travel and a lot of reading. The private school did have some benefits such as better field trips and smaller classes. But nothing that would make it worth making a significant financial sacrifice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would like to know more about why the pre-K teacher emphatically recommends private school.

There's a difference between gifted, highly gifted, and different gradations that are higher, which could cause private (the right private) to be a better choice for your child.

However, you seem to be saying he is pretty much a "regular kid" socially.

Could you explain more both about what the pre-K teacher said about her reasons for her recommendation, and also more about your son's socializing with his peers?

But what private school actually caters to academically advanced kindergarteners? We didn't find one.

Niesmith and Feynman

Meh. Nysmith is in Western Fairfax County, and is quite a haul from where OP lives. And more to the point, by 3rd grade, all the kids I know who attend missed AAP in FCPS. It may be "for the gifted," but there is no score cut off. They have the reputation of being "Nysmyth School for Parents who believe their kids are gifted, despite FCPS assuring them this is not the case."

[Anonymous]

OP: I'm parenting a highly gifted kid in FCPS, and know parents of gifted kids in MCPS. Both systems have very strong FT gifted education by mid-ES. Different philosophies, different acceptance criteria. But, they both do gifted education very well. As PPs have noted, privates really can't differentiate in the way FCPS and MCPS do. FCPS at least is also very good with 2e. Most of the good ones won't pretend to.

Other observations: k-2 was tough in FCPS until AAP kicked in. But the school did a good job working with us. We did a lot of supplementing for the first 3 years, but it was fine. Also agree with PPs that raising a bright kid in this area is $$. The money we save by using public? Private music lessons, a good child psych for ADHD, an organizational tutor for executive functioning issues, summer camps like CTY through JHU; weekend science enrichment. It disappears really fast. But I'm glad we have it to spend.

[Anonymous]

Our DC was in the same boat, disruptive and goofy in class. Child was bored. We moved to a private school where child is thriving. We will reassess in a few years as to whether we need to stay in private schools or can transition to our very good public schools. For our family, developing the foundation years where my child loves school was the most important factor.