Would you want your in laws to join your family vacation?

[Anonymous]

Sure, why not? Free babysitters, cousins, they pay for lots of shit. Plus they are nice people. Win win win.

[Anonymous]

My MIL and SIL, yes. My own family, no. The former are super helpful and happy to watch the kiddo. The latter are not helpful at all except for my sister, who's great for 72 hours or less, then we resume our childhood/lifelong warring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sure, why not? Free babysitters, cousins, they pay for lots of shit. Plus they are nice people. Win win win.

Depends on the family though. Mine talks a big talk about helping with the kids but when it comes down to it, they really don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We've tried it before and found that our needs get tromped on by controlling MIL and inconsiderate SIL despite us having little kids and -- I would argue -- more right to guide schedules and such.

Maybe if I had unlimited vacation time, if they were paying, if I had other truly relaxing vacations lined up -- maybe I would do it for the sake of my kids and their relationships with these people. But otherwise, probably not.

Given your entitled attitude that you are more important bc you have kids, I can see why you don't get along.

No, I agree with PP. We do extended family vacations all the time and it only works if everyone can be considerate of the needs of small children and the elderly when a whole group event is planned. That can be balanced with grown-up nights out, and the occasional dinner where the new parent (usually happily) stays home and goes to bed early with the kids, or grandma babysits one night while the parents go out, kids eat early/grown ups eat late, etc. If anyone the group is not flexible about the needs of kids, it can be very stressful. If you are such a person, you should reconsider going on vacation with a family with small kids.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is so dependent on individual personalities. My MIL is a nutjob. No f'ing way. My BIL/SIL and kid are lovely people - a family trip with them would be fun.

Your MIL is a nut job yet you married her son and think her son or daughter are lovely oeople. Nut jobs do not rear lovely people. I suspect that you are the nut job.

[Anonymous]

Yes, we have three sets of grandparents. One, yes as they help with everything and babysit. My parents, fine but they are separated so we could only do one each. Both are high maintenance and don't really help. My husband's parents, no, only because my FIL has never met my kids and never made an effort. My MIL is in a nursing home. She did come on a conference with me for my husband as I did not want to be alone in the hotel all day. It was really nice. She is not able to travel anymore or yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so dependent on individual personalities. My MIL is a nutjob. No f'ing way. My BIL/SIL and kid are lovely people - a family trip with them would be fun.

Your MIL is a nut job yet you married her son and think her son or daughter are lovely oeople. Nut jobs do not rear lovely people. I suspect that you are the nut job.

What's the point of this reply? Wake up on the wrong side of the bed much?

[Anonymous]

No. My ILs and my parents and my husband and I took one trip as a group, when I was pregnant. My in-laws are terrible planners, take FOREVER to get ready in the morning, and leave the TV on all the time even when they aren't watching it. My FIL will gorge on anything not nailed down; my mom actually had to start hiding food from him. He also does not help prepare or clean up after meals, or keep the shared space remotely neat. He leaves dishes lying all over. My parents are super-easy to travel with; his parents are just so much work. Not relaxing.

[Anonymous]

I generally try to avoid it. We travel really differently. Just my inlaws would be ok, but they never go anywhere without my SIL who is incredibly inconsiderate to share space with.

We do spend one long weekend at the beach together every summer. That's plenty for me. We are all local so there's no real reason to travel together when we can see each other easily otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm torn. Would love to hear perspectives I'm maybe not considering.

Only if you have kids under age 4 and only if they have their own hotel room, and pay for it.

Don't start a precedent you don't want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sure, why not? Free babysitters, cousins, they pay for lots of shit. Plus they are nice people. Win win win.

Ha. My in laws don't open their pocketbook the whole three weeks. Even for our wedding they stayed with us in our one BR apartment leading up to the weekend, and then at my parents house afterwards. Never rent a car either.

Every single visit feels like a boondoggle to see how much food they can eat on someone else's dime. And yes, they have money. Just bought BIL two $600k rental properties since he can't hold down a job. Rather won't hold one down.

[Anonymous]

SIL and her family sure. MIL? Never ever. I did that once and was mortified because she just wanders off like a toddler and doesn't show up for hours. As in we pay for a group tour, the bus is going to wait for us at point x at z hours. 2 hours later she shows up and acts all innocent and hurt that we're pissed. Nope, not again.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on your situation, and what your in laws are like. Personally, I would never let in laws join on our family vacation, simply because it will no longer be "our vacation". They take over and are not simply there to enjoy the time together. Your in laws may be different, and may be more helpful, etc. It really depends.

[Anonymous]

Truly depends on their personality types. My DH's parents are really easy going and easy people to get along with. His sister OTOH is loud and opinionated, which is not my ideal vacation mindset. That said, we've vacationed with them all and had a great time.

If there are kids involved, I always say take one for the team, as it creates great memories for them.