Would you want your in laws to join your family vacation?

[Anonymous]

Sure, if it was in place of having to visit them.

[Anonymous]

No. We have different travel styles (and personality etc). It's generally not enjoyable to be with them. They are in their own world and don't consider our needs. They make us feel guilty if we ask them to watch the kids for an hour or two over the course of a week long visit so that we can go to dinner or something alone.

A weekend long thing is ok as I respect the grandparent relationship and can suck it up. But more than that when I have limited travel time and money, no way.

[Anonymous]

Over my dead body.

[Anonymous]

BIL, SIL, and their kids: yes. MIL and FIL: hell no. MIL is a mean nasty woman and FIL is a weasel and enabler.

[Anonymous]

I would not want them to join but we do a vacation rental every year with them. It's not relaxing or a vacation to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:SIL and BIL? Yes, they are nice. FIL and MIL? No. They are nice, too, but do not treat us as peers. FIL would spend the whole vacation telling everybody what to do and where to go every second of every day.

This. I would cancel a vacation before I went on one with them.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes. We try to go and visit or vacation with each set of in-laws once per year. Other than the planned vacation, no, we vacation without them.

[Anonymous]

Never again. Used to get a beach house for a week and include BIL/SIL -- they were awful, didn't contribute, trashed things, etc -- finally said no more. I would never vacation with MIL/FIL

[Anonymous]

Ours came to Disney with us. We've joined them at a beach house a few times. It's nice because they watch the kids and we get a bit of a break. I would not want to do a vacation that wasn't kid focused with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not want them to join but we do a vacation rental every year with them. It's not relaxing or a vacation to me.

This is exactly me, too! I see it as in place of them visiting us, so it is fine.

[Anonymous]

We've traveled and stayed close to (though not with) BIL, SIL, and their kids. Would totally do a vacation with them and have talked about doing so, it just never quite lines up.

My FIL, it's sort of tough to say. Honestly I'd do it but ideally it would not be our only vacation of the year. He's kind of high-maintenance and is really more into non-kid-focused trips at this point of his life. But if DH or FIL expressed interest I'd absolutely do it because none of us are going to live forever and I have great memories of vacations which included my own grandparents.

To be fair we don't vacation with my family so I'm not anti-IL.

[Anonymous]

Hell no.

A trio with ILs or my family for that matter is not a vacation. Just like going to visit them is not a vacation.

[Anonymous]

We've tried it before and found that our needs get tromped on by controlling MIL and inconsiderate SIL despite us having little kids and -- I would argue -- more right to guide schedules and such.

Maybe if I had unlimited vacation time, if they were paying, if I had other truly relaxing vacations lined up -- maybe I would do it for the sake of my kids and their relationships with these people. But otherwise, probably not.

[Anonymous]

We have done it. There are benefits. There are downfalls. It depends on the family.

[Anonymous]

We have, but I am thinking as they get older it may not be possible. Our kids HOUND the grandparents for attention 24 7 and although we do try to give them breaks and take them out of the house, the in laws NEVER say "no" to them. So I end up feeling guilty that MIL is tired and I will tell her, let them know you need a break from play time and need to rest and I will the same to the kids. They are magnificent grandparents but I always feel like they are overburdened on these vacations.