late December birthday girl in a 12/31 cut off district, would you hold her back?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's 1 but we have to decide this upcoming year whether to repeat twos or go ahead to threes and possibly repeat the extra pre K year

Have her continue with her normal age group. It is easier to hold back later than to skip ahead now. FWIW both my husband and I have fall birthdays and we the youngest in our grades. Both of us were fine. I can't imagine graduating a year later.

[Anonymous]

OP, unless she has some learning issues do not hold her back. I have one child with a summer birthday and Sept 1 cutoff that I did not hold back. There was no reason to. She is currently at the top of her class and has many friends with birthdays all throughout the year. I held my other child back. He needed it--several LD's , ADHD and gross immaturity. He fits in very well with kids 12-18 months younger than he is. If he didn't have all the issues he does I would have never held him back.

[Anonymous]

Do you guys think there will be any issues when her 4 year old class goes on to K and she has to stay in an extra preK year and then goes to public school with her preschool friends in 1st grade and she's in K? the reason to hold back now would be for that...

[Anonymous]

I would hold her back if you think there is ever a possibility you will move to a place that has a Sept or August cutoff (most of the country). It's one thing to be the youngest, but it's another to be the youngest by multiple months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you guys think there will be any issues when her 4 year old class goes on to K and she has to stay in an extra preK year and then goes to public school with her preschool friends in 1st grade and she's in K? the reason to hold back now would be for that...

now that's just silly. people go to different schools and into different classrooms plus there are people who move into and out of your neighborhood - it gets mixed up plenty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone. Op here. yes. I am concerned she will go to college with kids 18 months older (some kids who hold back for summer birthdays with 9/1 cut off and she's late December birthday).

In reality, all I am really focused on now is whether to repeat two's year of preschool under the assumption that there is no way I'd send a late December birthday to kindergarten and if we're definitely holding her back is it better to repeat two's, OR, go ahead and then do an extra pre-K year and the assumption would be that that's a good choice because we preserve the option to choose to send her to K that young and also, I feel that there's a big developmental gap between the older 2's and younger 2's, so holding her back at 2 she will be around much less developed toddlers, whereas by 4/5 the gaps aren't as much.

honestly I wouldn't try to make this decision when she is only 1. let things be and see how you feel when you have to register her for K.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you guys think there will be any issues when her 4 year old class goes on to K and she has to stay in an extra preK year and then goes to public school with her preschool friends in 1st grade and she's in K? the reason to hold back now would be for that...

OP, I get the feeling that you have already decided to hold your daughter back. But she is ONE YEAR OLD. How about this as an alternative? Assume that she will go to kindergarten on time for now, and then reassess as necessary at kindergarten registration time.

[Anonymous]

OP, my DD is a late November bday kid and is the youngest in class. She started K at 4. She's in first now and I definitely think she's in the correct grade. Fortunately, our school has a 12/31 cut off too. I plan to keep her in her school through MS. I have thought about HS and social maturity, but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

[Anonymous]

If the kids in her daycare all go to the same elementary school, there's something to be said for aligning with the right age group earlier rather than later. She will make good buddies over the next few years and you will get to know their parents - it'd be nice to invest in relationships that will extend into elementary school.

At the same time, it's not that big of a deal.

[Anonymous]

Unless she's huge and way ahead of her age emotionally and academically, yes I would. Maybe even if she was. I was always the youngest and smallest in school, and it totally sucked. Especially sports. As a teacher, it's true that girls suffered way less from being young than boys, but December is really pushing it. I mean, if you ever moved to another district, especially one with tons of redshirting like mine, then she'd be over a year younger than her classmates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless she's huge and way ahead of her age emotionally and academically, yes I would. Maybe even if she was. I was always the youngest and smallest in school, and it totally sucked. Especially sports. As a teacher, it's true that girls suffered way less from being young than boys, but December is really pushing it. I mean, if you ever moved to another district, especially one with tons of redshirting like mine, then she'd be over a year younger than her classmates.

I was always the youngest and smallest in school, and things were fine. There, now we have two anecdotes. Actually, three anecdotes, because my kid is also the youngest and smallest, and things are fine. My kid would have been the smallest even if I had held my kid back a year.

The point is that it's just as silly to say, "It is always bad to be the youngest and smallest; hold your child back!" as it is to say, "It is never a problem to be the youngest and smallest; send your child on time!". It depends on the individual child. And what is OP's individual child going to be like at kindergarten-starting age? Nobody knows, BECAUSE OP'S CHILD IS ONE YEAR OLD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:absolutely would. when she starts college at 17 it matters.

But she's 4. How does anyone know she wants to even go to college? In-fact, if you click on this link, you'll see that most people don't go to college. http://nces.ed.gov/programs/digest/d13/tables/dt13_104.20.asp The question should be "Is she ready for Kindergarten now?", not "Will she be ready for college 13 years from now?", because if she's not, she can just take a gap year after high school. You have no idea what a 4-year-old will be like when they're 17.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless she's huge and way ahead of her age emotionally and academically, yes I would. Maybe even if she was. I was always the youngest and smallest in school, and it totally sucked. Especially sports. As a teacher, it's true that girls suffered way less from being young than boys, but December is really pushing it. I mean, if you ever moved to another district, especially one with tons of redshirting like mine, then she'd be over a year younger than her classmates.

I was always the youngest and smallest in school, and things were fine. There, now we have two anecdotes. Actually, three anecdotes, because my kid is also the youngest and smallest, and things are fine. My kid would have been the smallest even if I had held my kid back a year.

The point is that it's just as silly to say, "It is always bad to be the youngest and smallest; hold your child back!" as it is to say, "It is never a problem to be the youngest and smallest; send your child on time!". It depends on the individual child. And what is OP's individual child going to be like at kindergarten-starting age? Nobody knows, BECAUSE OP'S CHILD IS ONE YEAR OLD.

Yes, I have heard a countless number of stories about people who were young for their grade and at the top of their class, and based on what you just said, there are also people who are old for their grade, but at the bottom of their class. However, I haven't heard a story lie that, which is rather frustrating. It would be nice to hear someone say something like, "I always struggled in school despite being redshirted," but I have yet to see a story like that. It's rather annoying really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless she's huge and way ahead of her age emotionally and academically, yes I would. Maybe even if she was. I was always the youngest and smallest in school, and it totally sucked. Especially sports. As a teacher, it's true that girls suffered way less from being young than boys, but December is really pushing it. I mean, if you ever moved to another district, especially one with tons of redshirting like mine, then she'd be over a year younger than her classmates.

I was always the youngest and smallest in school, and things were fine. There, now we have two anecdotes. Actually, three anecdotes, because my kid is also the youngest and smallest, and things are fine. My kid would have been the smallest even if I had held my kid back a year.

The point is that it's just as silly to say, "It is always bad to be the youngest and smallest; hold your child back!" as it is to say, "It is never a problem to be the youngest and smallest; send your child on time!". It depends on the individual child. And what is OP's individual child going to be like at kindergarten-starting age? Nobody knows, BECAUSE OP'S CHILD IS ONE YEAR OLD.

Yes, I have heard a countless number of stories about people who were young for their grade and at the top of their class, and based on what you just said, there are also people who are old for their grade, but at the bottom of their class. However, I haven't heard a story lie that, which is rather frustrating. It would be nice to hear someone say something like, "I always struggled in school despite being redshirted," but I have yet to see a story like that. It's rather annoying really.

If their kids were held back and struggling, they aren't going to talk about it online.

[Anonymous]

Unless there is a concern, send on time. Yes some kids might be more than a year older but just a few. starting college at 17 and 9 months is not really any different then starting college at 18 years and 0 months.