late December birthday girl in a 12/31 cut off district, would you hold her back?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks. Is there no reason to consider holding back at 2 so she can socially go to k with her peers etc? Also I hear what you're saying about reading and letters and counting etc but what about the social aspect? Last to get her license? Last to develop etc? Youngest socially?

OP, make the decision about holding her back when it's the right time to hold her back -- namely, when she is 4, and you can assess whether or not she's ready for kindergarten. Don't hold her back at 2 on grounds that you might hold her back at 4. What if you hold her back at 2, and at 4 it becomes apparent to everybody that she's ready for kindergarten?

Also, what about the social aspects?

Last to get her license? So what? Half of kids these days don't have their license at 18 anyway.

Last to develop? You can't know that, either at age 1 or at age 4 or 5. Some kids develop early. Some kids develop late.

Youngest socially? Again, you can't know that. Some young kids have great social skills. Some older kids have terrible social skills.

It sounds to me like you have already decided to hold her back. on grounds that this is abstractly the better decision for all children. But your child is ONE YEAR OLD. You don't know what she will be like when she is 4. Make a decision based on your individual child, not your abstract opinions about redshirting.

[Anonymous]

Doesn't DC now have a 9/30 for a age cut off?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:oP here: she's actually only 1 now so it's too early to tell I've just started thinking about it bc she's starting preschool this fall at under 2. And no, we don't plan to move to a 9/1 cut off - the whole area is 12/31 cut off. But it does concern me as you say that summer programs college etc some kids will be a full 18 months ahead... To me it seems debatable to hold back a summer birthday so they're 6 before K, but even if I held her back she wouldn't be 6 till December so she wouldn't be that old. I worry she will be aware when her preschool friends go to kindergarten and she has to do the extra year of preschool. Maybe better to repeat twos or threes in preschool before she knows any different ?

Our school has a 5s class for kids who technically meet the deadline but would benefit from some extra preschool. She's only 1, so you can't know now, but kids don't really care that much about their "friends" in preschool.

[Anonymous]

I would either repeat kindergarten or repeat pre-k depending on how many kids from your preschool go onto public kindergarten. Ideally kids start school knowing a couple of kids already. We've found it's really important to start public school ready both to learn, to make friends, and to start being independent. Almost all play dates are done without parents by age K where we live so kids need to know how to play well before starting school. We chose to do K twice because it was cheaper, but others have repeated pre-k and liked that decision as well. Pre-k usually has more playtime which is great at that age. Public school barely has playtime anymore. It's absolutely the best choice for us. We have older kids and see how quickly things ramp up in all aspects of their lives. Also, for college she'll be competing with kids in school systems with a different cutoff than yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would either repeat kindergarten or repeat pre-k depending on how many kids from your preschool go onto public kindergarten. Ideally kids start school knowing a couple of kids already. We've found it's really important to start public school ready both to learn, to make friends, and to start being independent. Almost all play dates are done without parents by age K where we live so kids need to know how to play well before starting school. We chose to do K twice because it was cheaper, but others have repeated pre-k and liked that decision as well. Pre-k usually has more playtime which is great at that age. Public school barely has playtime anymore. It's absolutely the best choice for us. We have older kids and see how quickly things ramp up in all aspects of their lives. Also, for college she'll be competing with kids in school systems with a different cutoff than yours.

I don't think that four months' difference in age has a meaningful effect when you're college-age.

[Anonymous]

Friend did it and child now 14 in 8th grade and bored with academics. Luckily a good kid, so not into trouble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would either repeat kindergarten or repeat pre-k depending on how many kids from your preschool go onto public kindergarten. Ideally kids start school knowing a couple of kids already. We've found it's really important to start public school ready both to learn, to make friends, and to start being independent. Almost all play dates are done without parents by age K where we live so kids need to know how to play well before starting school. We chose to do K twice because it was cheaper, but others have repeated pre-k and liked that decision as well. Pre-k usually has more playtime which is great at that age. Public school barely has playtime anymore. It's absolutely the best choice for us. We have older kids and see how quickly things ramp up in all aspects of their lives. Also, for college she'll be competing with kids in school systems with a different cutoff than yours.

I don't think that four months' difference in age has a meaningful effect when you're college-age.

She'd be competing with kids that are more than a year older than her. School just isn't like it used to be at least here. My 3rd grader is doing work similar to what I did in 5th grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:absolutely would. when she starts college at 17 it matters.

So if the parents are worried then, she can take a gap year. I'd decide based on what seems best right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would either repeat kindergarten or repeat pre-k depending on how many kids from your preschool go onto public kindergarten. Ideally kids start school knowing a couple of kids already. We've found it's really important to start public school ready both to learn, to make friends, and to start being independent. Almost all play dates are done without parents by age K where we live so kids need to know how to play well before starting school. We chose to do K twice because it was cheaper, but others have repeated pre-k and liked that decision as well. Pre-k usually has more playtime which is great at that age. Public school barely has playtime anymore. It's absolutely the best choice for us. We have older kids and see how quickly things ramp up in all aspects of their lives. Also, for college she'll be competing with kids in school systems with a different cutoff than yours.

I don't think that four months' difference in age has a meaningful effect when you're college-age.

She'd be competing with kids that are more than a year older than her. School just isn't like it used to be at least here. My 3rd grader is doing work similar to what I did in 5th grade.

OK, but OP's kid, in third grade, would be doing the same work as your kid, if your kid were in third grade at the same time. And OP's kid will presumably go to college after 12th grade, just like all of the kids OP's kid will be competing with.

[Anonymous]

Everyone has an anecdote but none of that really helps OP. OP - honestly only you can decide this. I think that is pretty young to start K - but we are in a district with a 9/1 cutoff. But really only you can decide. I honestly don't think you will go that far wrong either way you go

[Anonymous]

Thanks everyone. Op here. yes. I am concerned she will go to college with kids 18 months older (some kids who hold back for summer birthdays with 9/1 cut off and she's late December birthday).

In reality, all I am really focused on now is whether to repeat two's year of preschool under the assumption that there is no way I'd send a late December birthday to kindergarten and if we're definitely holding her back is it better to repeat two's, OR, go ahead and then do an extra pre-K year and the assumption would be that that's a good choice because we preserve the option to choose to send her to K that young and also, I feel that there's a big developmental gap between the older 2's and younger 2's, so holding her back at 2 she will be around much less developed toddlers, whereas by 4/5 the gaps aren't as much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:absolutely would. when she starts college at 17 it matters.

This is a really good point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone. Op here. yes. I am concerned she will go to college with kids 18 months older (some kids who hold back for summer birthdays with 9/1 cut off and she's late December birthday).

In reality, all I am really focused on now is whether to repeat two's year of preschool under the assumption that there is no way I'd send a late December birthday to kindergarten and if we're definitely holding her back is it better to repeat two's, OR, go ahead and then do an extra pre-K year and the assumption would be that that's a good choice because we preserve the option to choose to send her to K that young and also, I feel that there's a big developmental gap between the older 2's and younger 2's, so holding her back at 2 she will be around much less developed toddlers, whereas by 4/5 the gaps aren't as much.

So when she's 18, she'll be going to college with 19-year-olds... Which she'd be doing anyway.

Keep your options open.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't hold back just yet unless for social reasons. Pre-k and K are typically when people start holding back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:absolutely would. when she starts college at 17 it matters.

This is a really good point.

How is this a good point?