Embarrassing Fight w/ my mother

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whoa, I just googled this and a ton of pictures of people in black face showed up. I'm with you, OP.

I spent my teen years in the Netherlands. When we teens dressed up in blackface and silken clothes to "trick" the local children into believing in the Sint for just a year longer, we weren't thinking about slaves, racism or anything besides the fun of it. I get it, and I get the attachment to the tradition -- it was fun. But nothing I wrote changes the racist story underlying this tradition, or the fact that it is time to replace it with something less offensive. We are less ignorant and our society is more diverse in 2015 than we were in 1980. We are more mature on these matters, and should act it.

And please don't tell me that the black peters were "companions, not slaves." "Companion" was simply the word used for an enslaved personal servant.

OP, I hope you can find a way to make peace with your mom on this. Act with kindness, respect that she is old and remember that you just rejected something dear to her. That said, it is important that your children observe your rejection of this tradition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know people are going to focus on the "it" of it....but...

It's a Sinterklaas doll and his assistant Black Peter. (I don't want to get into the pro/con Black Peter argument especially by any Dutch people) we don't like it, don't have it in our house. My mother is older and very much loves it. She wants my daughter to have the fun of Sinterklaas day (which was Saturday) like she did (and I did) as a child.

I totally get it.
My son did a report on this last year.
It was awkward.

My friend, who is dutch, posted FB pics of her family celebrating with a more PC veriosn of black Peter, but still.

This is a pimple in your relationship.
It will pass.

Find other ways for her to see that you value your heritage and are not marginalizing your entire heritage. She's afraid of being phased out and wants a role.
FIND ONE. I have no idea how, though.

Hugs and sympathy.

Send her some tulips?

[Anonymous]

The responses in this thread give me hope for the future.

-An African-American who is horrified by "Black Peter"