Help Me bond with stepdaughter!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here! Thank you all for your thoughts. I am not going to step back so she can have alone time with my husband but I will include her in our family activities. We do have two other children together and my husband is an amazing dad to our kids. He takes care of them, usa very loving and present dad and our children adore him.

Did anyone else notice in her original message she says; "DH has not known is dad and his mother hasn't been a good mother so he had not learned how to be a good father.."

Yet in her reply here all of a sudden he is an amazing dad.

This is just so sad. All of it. My heart breaks for his daughter.

These were the details that made the think it's a troll.

Caught!! Well good, glad she might be a troll because if she's real she's awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here! Thank you all for your thoughts. I am not going to step back so she can have alone time with my husband but I will include her in our family activities. We do have two other children together and my husband is an amazing dad to our kids. He takes care of them, usa very loving and present dad and our children adore him.

Did anyone else notice in her original message she says; "DH has not known is dad and his mother hasn't been a good mother so he had not learned how to be a good father.."

Yet in her reply here all of a sudden he is an amazing dad.

This is just so sad. All of it. My heart breaks for his daughter.

These were the details that made the think it's a troll.

I actually assumed that those details were OP patting herself on the back for how she took a man out of a bad situation with his evil ex wife and her terrible daughter and turned him into a great father for her perfect children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here! Thank you all for your thoughts. I am not going to step back so she can have alone time with my husband but I will include her in our family activities. We do have two other children together and my husband is an amazing dad to our kids. He takes care of them, usa very loving and present dad and our children adore him.

It is actually painful to read your posts, OP. You sound like you destroyed the sacred relationship of a father and child for your own selfish purposes, and are now being forced - because of your husband's wishes - to accept this poor child into your home, and you're trying to find the most personally advantageous way to technically go along with their wishes, but REALLY block them from developing a real relationship. I am almost never an OP basher but this is just evil. Evil.

+1

I was there with you OP in your first post. We all do things we regret. I'm sure his ex was a rotten piece of scum.

NOW, OP, you've lost me. You have some serious insecurity issues. You are really a self-centered piece of scum, yourself. To insist that this girl spend time with you and your children is so insulting! It's like rubbing her nose in everything YOU TOOK AWAY from her.

Get yourself into therapy and back off from your SD and let her enjoy this "wonderful dad" you have gotten to monopolize.

[Anonymous]

Ugh. I hope DCUM first wives knows there are decent step moms out there that care about and even love your kids. This woman is not representative.

[Anonymous]

You sound just like my step-mother and father, down to the banning me from their family home because I defended my mother when my step-mother repeatedly bad-mouthed her. Step-mother was evil and dad was spineless. I tried for years to make her like me so I could have a relationship with my dad, but eventually threw in the towel with her (no communication at all) and now try to maintain a fractured relationship with him, which he does behind her back. Sadly, even if this OP is a troll, these stories are real and kids pay the price for the rest of their lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. I hope DCUM first wives knows there are decent step moms out there that care about and even love your kids. This woman is not representative.

And yet by chiming in to say this, you make it all about you and how people feel about you.

It's about the child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. I hope DCUM first wives knows there are decent step moms out there that care about and even love your kids. This woman is not representative.

And yet by chiming in to say this, you make it all about you and how people feel about you.

It's about the child.

What a bizarre response. You have issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. I hope DCUM first wives knows there are decent step moms out there that care about and even love your kids. This woman is not representative.

And yet by chiming in to say this, you make it all about you and how people feel about you.

It's about the child.

What a bizarre response. You have issues.

Nope. If you try to make a conversation about children's wellbeing into a conversation about how people perceive you, you're being self-absorbed.

[Anonymous]

Apologize and stay out of the way. Then be kind to her, but don't try to be her mother. Most likely she does not want to bond with you, but does want to bond with her father. Do your best to help your husband nurture that bond, and again, stay out of the way.

11 freaking years. Unreal.

[Anonymous]

OP, your step daughter will likely get along better with her half-siblings than either you or her dad at first. Maybe let the kids go to a movie and lunch together? Once they get to know each other, y'all will feel more like family.

I also think it is ok for your step daughter and her dad occasionally hang out alone (but not all the kids and dad, while you get left alone... that just won't work).

I think it's nice that you are open to having her in your house and perhaps the relationship between you guys can be repaired. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

OP.
You give all stepmothers a terrible, terrible name. In this instance is it is deserved. I have no sympathy for you. How dare you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, your step daughter will likely get along better with her half-siblings than either you or her dad at first. Maybe let the kids go to a movie and lunch together? Once they get to know each other, y'all will feel more like family.

I also think it is ok for your step daughter and her dad occasionally hang out alone (but not all the kids and dad, while you get left alone... that just won't work).

I think it's nice that you are open to having her in your house and perhaps the relationship between you guys can be repaired. Good luck!

OP's husband can spend time with all of his children if he wants and the siblings can have time together with their dad if they want. OP needs to get the hell out of the way. Advice to the contrary further warps and damages these relationships.