Is 32 too late?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:God, in this area 32 is considered a baby. I think the average age for a first time delivery at Sibley is 36-37. And if it makes you feel better I had my first at 36 and my second at 41. Didn't even try for either of them so we kind of got lucky.

That doesn't make it a guarantee that OP will be able to conceive. 32 with your first is considered ancient in most of the US.

[Anonymous]

No, not too late at all. Most people won't have any problems. I waited until 32, and it took me 3 years to have my first.

Just start when you are ready. You are very young though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 29 and DH and I have been talking about when to start really TTC. I think we should start asap because what if it just doesn't works and takes us years to just get pregnant with #1. We debatebif we want 1 or 2. Def no more than 2 for husband. I could be very happy with 3 babies. All depends on finanaces really.

DH thinks we should wait until I am 32 to start trying and focus on work and saving until then.

Is this too late?

how do you know this?

[Anonymous]

It sounds to me like you don't really want to have a baby right now, but it's not the worst thing that could happen to you. If I were in your position I would read taking charge of your fertility and use the method suggested in the book as your form of birth control (charting your menstrual cycle by tracking your cervical fluid and basal body temperature, then avoiding unprotected sex on days when those signs indicate you are fertile and using barrier methods on your fertile days). This way you can get hormonal BC out of your system long before you want to conceive and learn to interpret your body so that you can spot potential fertility issues and hopefully conceive quickly when you're ready.

It's tough to know if you're going to have a hard time until you try, but I wouldn't start trying years before you hope to conceive just out of fear that you'll struggle later. Live your life, try for babies when you want to have them. Hope for the best.

[Anonymous]

I am 31 and we just started trying the month of my birthday. My Dr. suggested that we start before I turn 30. However, DH wanted to wait so we did.

[Anonymous]

Definitely not. I had both of mine in my late 30's. (37 and 39). I know ladies who had babies in their 40's too. 32 isn't even considered advanced maternal age.

[Anonymous]

We started trying when I was 34. I got pregnant right away and DD was born 11 mos later (one m/c). I'm 40 now and we're trying again. I don't think 32 is too late, but your husband's and your health and the solidity of your marriage really helps to determine when is best.

And I agree with everyone -- you'll never be "ready." The best way to be ready is to have the baby. Even then you won't be!

[Anonymous]

I'm going to read between the lines here and guess that you'd like to start now. If that's how you feel, you should talk to DH. Sometimes it's not rational. Really 29-32 are great times to have a baby so I don't think there's a big argument for one or the other, except feelings and personal preferences.

[Anonymous]

Kids don't get less expensive, so I don't see the point in waiting since you already have a cushion. But it's DH's decision too. If he says wait, you kinda have to wait. I'd make my best case for a compromise though.

[Anonymous]

We started ttc right after we got married when I was 26. I didn't feel ready to have kids yet, but I had always had long cycles and irregular periods and had a feeling that getting pregnant wouldn't be easy for me. Despite having lots of sex the first year of marriage, nothing happened. The next year we read Taking Charge of Your Fertility and tracked/charted religiously. Nothing happened for two more years. Husband's sperm was fine, I was ovulating, we're both healthy, but nothing happened. Talked to my obgyn about options I decided that if I still wasn't pregnant by age 30, I would start by trying clomid and try other interventions from there. I ended up getting pregnant with no interventions right around my 30th birthday. We weren't really ready to have kids right after we g married, but I'm glad we found out sooner rather than later that it was going to take some time. In my ideal vision of how things would go, I would have my first by age 29-30, and after trying for some years, that's how it worked out. But I'm glad I didn't wait to try until age 29 only to have it take until age 33 or so to finally work.

[Anonymous]

No. I didn't have my first until 35. Started trying at 32 though. If you are worried, get a 3 day work up now if your numbers are bad, then reconsider. If they are normal, you shouldn't have problems. Do you have endometriosis or anything like that?

[Anonymous]

We had problems at 26. I think fertility is a valid concern, regardless of age. Some people have no trouble at all, some people have less fertility by the age of 26!! I was perfectly healthy too!

[Anonymous]

Earlier is better, but I conceived for a third time at 34.

[Anonymous]

I had my first at 31, conceived when I was 30. I had been working for only 1 year after my Ph.D. and dh had been working for 1 year prior to that. In the year we were both working and child free (pregnant) we saved $60k. 5 years and another kid later, dh often says: if only we had put it off for a few years, we'd have had enough money to buy a nice house! Instead we are in our shit shack. So, while I wouldn't trade a thing, there are obvs multiple ways to look at the situation.

[Anonymous]

I got pregnant at 34. Like your husband, my DH and I decided to be a little more financially secure first - pay down our grad school debt (mine's gone! woohoo!) and save for a house before trying. In the DC market that stuff takes awhile!

This month we closed on a house AND got a positive pregnancy test after just a few months of TTC. I was ecstatic, after years of worrying in the back of my head if we would have fertility problems....

This is a decision where you have to turn two keys, and compromising (getting closer to your number) would be good, but you both want to be ready because it is a big life change. Start by talking to your doctor about your concerns and keep the conversation open at home. Cut back on your spending as well and contribute heavily to the savings account as that sounds like it would help your DH get there.