Is 32 too late?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We started trying when I was thirty. I had a lot of friends with issues that took years to conceive. I kind of expected the same. I got pregnant the first month that we started trying (after 12 years on the pill). So you never know.

The vast majority of 30 year olds and 32 year olds will get pregnant within a few months with no trouble.

If you know a bunch of people having trouble, they are on the shitty side of statistics, which doesn't mean you will be. You could be. But probably not.

Start trying to have a baby when you're ready to have a baby in 9 months.

I do not think it is fair to say that "the vast majority will get pregnant in a few months." What statistics are you referring to exactly? I am in my early 30s and have been trying for a year to get pregnant. DH and I are perfectly healthy and our fertility work up has shown no issues. We both were misled by so many friends saying "oh we got pregnant the first time we tried" that we assumed we would be in the same boat as soon as I stopped the pill. Now we at learning how common infertility is and that for many women, it can take your menstrual cycles up to a year to get back to normal afte discontinuing oral contraceptives. Everything I had read said it would only take a few months, tops, but when I started digging more deeply I found that this is not true for a lot of women. I'm guessing the birth control pill manufacturers are just good at hiding it. FWIW, I wish we had not waited an extra year to build up our savings and get to the perfect place in our lives to have a baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We started trying when I was thirty. I had a lot of friends with issues that took years to conceive. I kind of expected the same. I got pregnant the first month that we started trying (after 12 years on the pill). So you never know.

The vast majority of 30 year olds and 32 year olds will get pregnant within a few months with no trouble.

If you know a bunch of people having trouble, they are on the shitty side of statistics, which doesn't mean you will be. You could be. But probably not.

Start trying to have a baby when you're ready to have a baby in 9 months.

I do not think it is fair to say that "the vast majority will get pregnant in a few months." What statistics are you referring to exactly? I am in my early 30s and have been trying for a year to get pregnant. DH and I are perfectly healthy and our fertility work up has shown no issues. We both were misled by so many friends saying "oh we got pregnant the first time we tried" that we assumed we would be in the same boat as soon as I stopped the pill. Now we at learning how common infertility is and that for many women, it can take your menstrual cycles up to a year to get back to normal afte discontinuing oral contraceptives. Everything I had read said it would only take a few months, tops, but when I started digging more deeply I found that this is not true for a lot of women. I'm guessing the birth control pill manufacturers are just good at hiding it. FWIW, I wish we had not waited an extra year to build up our savings and get to the perfect place in our lives to have a baby.

NP here. I'm sorry for your troubles, but the statistics do show that most women in their early 30s get pregnant easily. For example: http://www.impatientwoman.com/excerpt.html

With that said, OP and her DH already have 6 months of savings and no debt. If they want 2 kids, they should start trying within a year, in my opinion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We started trying when I was thirty. I had a lot of friends with issues that took years to conceive. I kind of expected the same. I got pregnant the first month that we started trying (after 12 years on the pill). So you never know.

The vast majority of 30 year olds and 32 year olds will get pregnant within a few months with no trouble.

If you know a bunch of people having trouble, they are on the shitty side of statistics, which doesn't mean you will be. You could be. But probably not.

Start trying to have a baby when you're ready to have a baby in 9 months.

I do not think it is fair to say that "the vast majority will get pregnant in a few months." What statistics are you referring to exactly? I am in my early 30s and have been trying for a year to get pregnant. DH and I are perfectly healthy and our fertility work up has shown no issues. We both were misled by so many friends saying "oh we got pregnant the first time we tried" that we assumed we would be in the same boat as soon as I stopped the pill. Now we at learning how common infertility is and that for many women, it can take your menstrual cycles up to a year to get back to normal afte discontinuing oral contraceptives. Everything I had read said it would only take a few months, tops, but when I started digging more deeply I found that this is not true for a lot of women. I'm guessing the birth control pill manufacturers are just good at hiding it. FWIW, I wish we had not waited an extra year to build up our savings and get to the perfect place in our lives to have a baby.

NP here. I'm sorry for your troubles, but the statistics do show that most women in their early 30s get pregnant easily. For example: http://www.impatientwoman.com/excerpt.html

With that said, OP and her DH already have 6 months of savings and no debt. If they want 2 kids, they should start trying within a year, in my opinion.

For a 30 year old woman, her chances of getting pregnant are 15% each cycle. At 3 months that's a 38.58% chance of pregnancy, at 6 months, that's a 62.29% chance, and at a year there is a 85.78% chance of pregnancy. So science doesn't actually support the statement that "the vast majority get pregnant in a few months." Furthermore, infertility runs in about 10% of women, so it's more common than you think. Furthermore, if the OP is taking oral contraceptives, she should be aware that for some women it can take up to 9 months for menstrual cycles to regulate as the other poster stated. And women who are stopping OCs are much more likely to have major cycle disturbances for up to 7 cycles (i.e. delayed ovulation and/or insufficient luteal phase) than women who aren't on the pill. Which means that pregnancy is less likely to occur.

My advice to the OP would be to stop OCs if you are on them and use a barrier method, and begin tracking your cycle to see if you have regular periods, a sufficient luteal phase, and normal ovulation. After 6 months, see where you are and if things are not back to normal go see a doc. A fertility work up is invasive and costly, and you should not get one just to preemptively see if you are fertile until you have actively been trying to conceive and had well timed intercourse for at least 6 months. Or just start trying now.

http://www.countdowntopregnancy.com/tools/age_fertility_calculator.php

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12396560

https://www.womenshealth.gov/publications/our-publications/fact-sheet/infertility.html

[Anonymous]

Start now. If he balks, leave him and find a man who is more amenable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is insulting to older moms, OP.

And YOU are insulting moms who had difficulty conceiving. It takes some people YEARS, and some people are never so lucky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I would take your time. Enjoy your marriage. Make sure it is strong and happy so you don't end up like a typical sexless, DCUM parent on the brink of divorce.


Signed, mom at 40 years old, happily married for 30 years

How old are you now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We started trying when I was thirty. I had a lot of friends with issues that took years to conceive. I kind of expected the same. I got pregnant the first month that we started trying (after 12 years on the pill). So you never know.

The vast majority of 30 year olds and 32 year olds will get pregnant within a few months with no trouble.

If you know a bunch of people having trouble, they are on the shitty side of statistics, which doesn't mean you will be. You could be. But probably not.

Start trying to have a baby when you're ready to have a baby in 9 months.

I do not think it is fair to say that "the vast majority will get pregnant in a few months." What statistics are you referring to exactly? I am in my early 30s and have been trying for a year to get pregnant. DH and I are perfectly healthy and our fertility work up has shown no issues. We both were misled by so many friends saying "oh we got pregnant the first time we tried" that we assumed we would be in the same boat as soon as I stopped the pill. Now we at learning how common infertility is and that for many women, it can take your menstrual cycles up to a year to get back to normal afte discontinuing oral contraceptives. Everything I had read said it would only take a few months, tops, but when I started digging more deeply I found that this is not true for a lot of women. I'm guessing the birth control pill manufacturers are just good at hiding it. FWIW, I wish we had not waited an extra year to build up our savings and get to the perfect place in our lives to have a baby.

NP here. I'm sorry for your troubles, but the statistics do show that most women in their early 30s get pregnant easily. For example: http://www.impatientwoman.com/excerpt.html

With that said, OP and her DH already have 6 months of savings and no debt. If they want 2 kids, they should start trying within a year, in my opinion.

For a 30 year old woman, her chances of getting pregnant are 15% each cycle. At 3 months that's a 38.58% chance of pregnancy, at 6 months, that's a 62.29% chance, and at a year there is a 85.78% chance of pregnancy. So science doesn't actually support the statement that "the vast majority get pregnant in a few months." Furthermore, infertility runs in about 10% of women, so it's more common than you think. Furthermore, if the OP is taking oral contraceptives, she should be aware that for some women it can take up to 9 months for menstrual cycles to regulate as the other poster stated. And women who are stopping OCs are much more likely to have major cycle disturbances for up to 7 cycles (i.e. delayed ovulation and/or insufficient luteal phase) than women who aren't on the pill. Which means that pregnancy is less likely to occur.

My advice to the OP would be to stop OCs if you are on them and use a barrier method, and begin tracking your cycle to see if you have regular periods, a sufficient luteal phase, and normal ovulation. After 6 months, see where you are and if things are not back to normal go see a doc. A fertility work up is invasive and costly, and you should not get one just to preemptively see if you are fertile until you have actively been trying to conceive and had well timed intercourse for at least 6 months. Or just start trying now.

http://www.countdowntopregnancy.com/tools/age_fertility_calculator.php

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12396560

https://www.womenshealth.gov/publications/our-publications/fact-sheet/infertility.html

Sensible advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We started trying when I was thirty. I had a lot of friends with issues that took years to conceive. I kind of expected the same. I got pregnant the first month that we started trying (after 12 years on the pill). So you never know.

The vast majority of 30 year olds and 32 year olds will get pregnant within a few months with no trouble.

If you know a bunch of people having trouble, they are on the shitty side of statistics, which doesn't mean you will be. You could be. But probably not.

Start trying to have a baby when you're ready to have a baby in 9 months.

I do not think it is fair to say that "the vast majority will get pregnant in a few months." What statistics are you referring to exactly? I am in my early 30s and have been trying for a year to get pregnant. DH and I are perfectly healthy and our fertility work up has shown no issues. We both were misled by so many friends saying "oh we got pregnant the first time we tried" that we assumed we would be in the same boat as soon as I stopped the pill. Now we at learning how common infertility is and that for many women, it can take your menstrual cycles up to a year to get back to normal afte discontinuing oral contraceptives. Everything I had read said it would only take a few months, tops, but when I started digging more deeply I found that this is not true for a lot of women. I'm guessing the birth control pill manufacturers are just good at hiding it. FWIW, I wish we had not waited an extra year to build up our savings and get to the perfect place in our lives to have a baby.

I looked at this.
http://www.thebump.com/a/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-pregnant
68 percent pregnant after 3 months.

I see the calculator you posted, which certainly looks fancier but isn't from a much more reliable source than what I saw on the bump.

So using your site, the vast majority of women will be pregnant in 6-8 months. Fine.

I just don't think it's sane to make decisions assuming or worrying you'll be in the relatively small percentage that have fertility issues. I say this as someone who had fertility issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I would take your time. Enjoy your marriage. Make sure it is strong and happy so you don't end up like a typical sexless, DCUM parent on the brink of divorce.


Signed, mom at 40 years old, happily married for 30 years

How old are you now?

mid 50s

[Anonymous]

You're 29 now and considering starting TTC at 32. If that seems late but you want to save a little more before then, why not start TTC at 30 or 31 instead? Seems like there's a middle road!

I would definitely stop the pill and start charting about 4-6 months before you even start TTC (using a barrier method in the meantime if you don't want to risk getting pregnant during that period). It took my body several months to get back to "normal" cycles after the pill, and in fact, the second time, it didn't totally regulate itself, but I did manage to get pregnant even though my cycle length was changing each month (not something normal for me off the pill). But I was surprised by this, and it made tracking and finding my fertile period much more difficult to pinpoint.

FWIW, I know a lot of people start TTC their second is when their first is a little over a year, but I could NEVER have done this. I had a really, really challenging first child and wasn't ready to even consider another until he was age 2. It took us about 6 months to get pregnant, and I had to wean off some meds before we could start, and so the age difference between our kids will be almost 4 years. It's more than I had hoped for but not a huge deal. I feel lucky that I'm squeaking in delivering #2 before I turn 35 because dealing with some of the AMA stuff is frustrating and more stressful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:yes, you're doomed.
wtf

+1!

[Anonymous]

Maximizing, trying to control to the Nth degree, is what gets couples into fertility problems in the first place. Op, hope you and your husband will let it happen.

[Anonymous]

I started ttc at age 32 and gave birth the first time at 36.

Have you and your DH get checked for fertility issues before waiting. And make sure you take into consideration how fertile the women in your family are/were and at what age they go through menopause.

Also how many kids do you want?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Start now. If he balks, leave him and find a man who is more amenable.

-1! Only follow that advice if you want to end it, OP! Wanting to rush into motherhood will only push partners away. Proceed with calm and look to doctors for advice.
Signed,
a mom at 34, then 37, then 41 -- all natural and not extraordinary for DC area!

[Anonymous]

God, in this area 32 is considered a baby. I think the average age for a first time delivery at Sibley is 36-37. And if it makes you feel better I had my first at 36 and my second at 41. Didn't even try for either of them so we kind of got lucky.