How do you conclude that priate school provided better service?

[Anonymous]

I just got a lovely email from a (private school) teacher over the weekend, just wanting to share a funny/clever comment and connection my child had made. I get emails like that once a week or so for the kids. Not necessary, but I won't pretend it isn't nice.

[Anonymous]

I have one in public and one in private - if the question is "service" - which gives better service, private does - teachers call more often, the administration tries to make sure my kid is learning and on track, the school caters to parents and kids needs. I love that about it - amazing.

If the question is which of my kids will get into a "better" school, well that's totally different and probably not-answerable -- my kids are different and need different things and I will not base my decision about elementary schooling on the ranking of the colleges my kids end up attending. Right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Public schools teache one skill really, really well and that's to be cynical. Kids watch as adults have to put up with tons of bullshit regarding testing and student behavior. Despite what they'll say in public, kids coming from public schools have less empathy because of the crap they've observed. If you did some of the things in private school that you can get away with in public you'd be gone like s..t through a goose. Privates aren't perfect but there are, especially in DC, many folks willing to take your place. Get out of line the man he comes and takes you away. If you bring a weapon to a private school it's goodbye. In publics they'll try and cover it up and give you in school detention. It wasn't always that way but that's the way it is now. Girls can be sexually harassed at publics ...wouldn't happen for a day in privates. GFL with your public schools. I'll sell my plasma before my kids sit in a BS public school.

Well, there is a counter-anecdote to every anecdote. I have never encountered as many world-weary, cynical, condescending, too-cool teenagers as I knew at my exclusive private school. We had a world-class string quartet come perform and the kids in the audience laughed at them. Kids bullied each other massively and relentlessly for not being good enough at sports, not rich enough, not from the right neighborhood. Kids were obsessed with money, and as high schoolers already planned to go into finance and law because there was no big money to be made in other professions. I know these people as adults and they have not changed. I think the data actually show that the 1% have less empathy than the rest, not more. If I have a good public option (and I do), I don't think I want to subject my less-than-rich, less-than-sporty children to the attitudes so common at elite privates. Watch your own attitude, you who use "bullshit," "crap," "sh.t," and "GFL" (good f*cking luck). Sure you're not a teenager?

[Anonymous]

Good points. But do you think affluent public schools are any different?

[Anonymous]

Good question. I'm not sure, but our local public would not be considered affluent so it's a moot point for me. The schools in the town I grew up in and the cluster I live in now would be considered middle class, and these attitudes were foreign to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good points. But do you think affluent public schools are any different?

No. They are still awash with state bureaucracy.

[Anonymous]

It really depends on the independent school as well as the public school, and the specific child. My two boys went to a very rigorous private school in another state (had about 30 percent of the state's NM Semi finalists). The older boy thrived at the school, was motivated by the competition and loved the small classes and mostly wonderful teachers. My younger son moved to fairfax county in high school (went to independent school through 9th) and much prefers public school. He is just as bright as his brother but a different personality. He likes the diversity and feels as though the kids are nicer. And BTW, the Private school kept tragedies quiet, but had students commit suicide, and kids had access to drugs and alcohol just like at the public school in Va. My older son did note the students brought very expensive liquor to parties.

[Anonymous]

I received a personal message from my public school teacher recently; and a second one from his history teacher to see how he's fitting in. I've never waited 24 hours to hear back from a teacher, the few times I've inquired about something. At the private not much different, but not much better.

[Anonymous]

I would say there were less behavior issues. At the pubic school, instruction was interrupted and several behavior issues took time away from instruction to be dealt with. Private had less of this to deal with. Made it worth in my book.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Cold hard data that is not subjective= 13 kids in class vs 26

My child get 2x the attention of the teacher (plus all the disruptive kids who monipolize the teachers time in public are weeded out via admissions process.

Is that worth 150 a day (22 an hour) to me? Yes. Best money I spend-objectively.

The top schools in the DC area are $40,000 per year, which is approximately $250 a day.

[Anonymous]

You sound very defensive and combative OP. No one talks about "service" at a private school.

If you love public, "rally round the flag" for you! Go for it. Just try to understand that others love private. I do. I don't want my kid being some sort of testing experiment at the publics. They test kids to death. What for? So, the states can feel good and say they're better than some other state.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where the kids go for college is almost immaterial - they will end up somewhere fine.

And it isn't a status symbol - it may be for some, but not for most of our kids classmates families.

Others have hit is on the head: teaching subjects with depth, not to a standardized test, learning how to write, starting with sentence structure and working out to paragraphs and chapters, how to craft reasons arguments, and more important, to understand there are different perspectives that shape how two people could reasonably come to different conclusions on a single topic.

for us, the tuition is a stretch - we are in that middle where there is no FA but it isn't pocket change, it is a true sacrifice. But for us, passing on the love of learning and the depth of education that we found lacking in the local public was and is worth every penny.

I work in an office where there is a 50/50 split of private and public school employees. I honestly cannot tell the difference between then when it comes to writing, any sort of analytical ability or overall ability to think, process and present. However, the private school kids are a lot more confident - in some cases unpleasantly so - almost entitled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just don't get why the public school parents come here to bash private schools. I have been on this forum for years and have never even once went into the public school forum. Based on the comments and posts in the private school forum from the public school parents, many of them come across as bitter haters, who are upset they don't have the money to send their kid to private or just want to denigrate others for choosing private. Also, so sick of people posting that only wealthy parents send their kids to private school. We are not wealthy and go without many things in order to afford private. That is also the case for many families at our school. I also know several families at SSAS, Holton Arms, Sidwell, Maret, and Potomac School. None of them are uber wealthy, they clip coupons, drive old cars, live in small homes, and are sending kids to private because that is what works for their kids. They also report to me that there are many others like them at their schools. I also know a family that lives in Fairfax with a 5th grader in public school. The parents cannot afford private and their daughter tells them she hates school and her teachers, but despite that she gets good grades and is overall a good kid. Does she need to go to private in order to be successful in life? No, but her parents would kill to put her in a situation where she was excited about school and enjoyed her teachers. I don't think you can measure success in terms of who ends up at what university, for most who send their kids to private, the goal is to instill a life-long love of learning. At our school we have several teachers that came from public school and all of them took a pay cut, but they all report it was worth it to them because of the job satisfaction they receive from interacting with a more enthusiastic student body, involved parents, and no need to beg for supplies for their classrooms. There are pros and cons of each approach, just like some moms work and some stay at home. There's no right answer, there's only the answer for you.

What a strange ranty post. I and I suspect most people who comment on it are doing so because it showed up on the recent lists.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I feel...." doesn't answer this.
"A higher percentage of kids from private school attend college...." really doesn't prove anything because of the correlation of wealthy parents (who can afford private school) and higher intelligence/higher college participation. Meaning: Those kids in private school probably would have attended college anyway if they hadn't attended private school.
"My private school provides religious education..." OK, I suppose that can't easily be replicated in public school though parents can provide religious education extracurricularly.

If your next door neighbors' kids got into equivalent colleges/universities and/or excelled academically equivalently as your private school educated kids, did the private school necessarily outperform the public school? (And "outperform" often means "provides better peers" because there's a bigger difference between the students at high and low performing schools than there is between the faculty/resources/equipment/labs/etc at high and low performing schools.

Bottom line: If you live in a neighborhood with fairly high performing students, why send your kids to private school? Can you conclude the private school provides significantly (at least $20K year per kid) better service? If you are like my parents were, had a single kid and lived in a neighborhood with poor performing peers (all of my street buddies were burned out pot heads and coke addicts and hardly any graduated high school), then private school (where I attended) certainly provided a better product and service due to the high performing peers (Vin Scully's kids, movie stars' kids, etc).

OP, did you attend Brentwood or Harvard Westlake?

In any case, our family has several children, and we live in an excellent public school district in the DMV (top 3 locally). Nevertheless, we chose to send our three children to private. Some of the reasons we sent our children to private school include, among others, the much smaller class sizes; more personalized instruction from, and relationship between teacher and student; a greater focus on, and resources for, math, science, language, and arts; strong faculty support in terms of additional instruction, extracurricular activities, counselors, and college advisors. Our two oldest attend top Ivy League schools, but that is not important; what I value is that their private school(s) helped my children grow and mature into well-educated, intellectual, artistic, very informed, independent thinkers and doers. Having longtime, experienced teachers who love the school and care about your children, who really get to know their students well because of smaller class sizes, and who are given the academic freedom to guide and explore learning, is so valuable.

All that said, do I think that my children could have had a great education at our top-rated local public or magnet schools? Yes, absolutely I do. But as everything turned out well (at least so far), I do not regret our decision.

[Anonymous]

Ironically, I think high achieving AA males are more supported in the Big 3 schools ( in Middle and High School) than in publics, where there are very few blacks in the highest level classes.