How do you conclude that priate school provided better service?

[Anonymous]

Dear 21:05 - While I have to agree that for some, it is a status symbol, for many it is not. Certainly not for us. I don't begin conversations with where my kids go/have gone. I don't wear their school colors/shirts - they go there, I don't. One of mine went public, two have gone to different privates. For us, it was all about making the right decision for each kid. And yes, I think all three could have gone to public school and done well but the independents we chose made their learning experience the right one for them. That's it, pure and simple - it was the right decision for that child.

[Anonymous]

I just don't get why the public school parents come here to bash private schools. I have been on this forum for years and have never even once went into the public school forum. Based on the comments and posts in the private school forum from the public school parents, many of them come across as bitter haters, who are upset they don't have the money to send their kid to private or just want to denigrate others for choosing private. Also, so sick of people posting that only wealthy parents send their kids to private school. We are not wealthy and go without many things in order to afford private. That is also the case for many families at our school. I also know several families at SSAS, Holton Arms, Sidwell, Maret, and Potomac School. None of them are uber wealthy, they clip coupons, drive old cars, live in small homes, and are sending kids to private because that is what works for their kids. They also report to me that there are many others like them at their schools. I also know a family that lives in Fairfax with a 5th grader in public school. The parents cannot afford private and their daughter tells them she hates school and her teachers, but despite that she gets good grades and is overall a good kid. Does she need to go to private in order to be successful in life? No, but her parents would kill to put her in a situation where she was excited about school and enjoyed her teachers. I don't think you can measure success in terms of who ends up at what university, for most who send their kids to private, the goal is to instill a life-long love of learning. At our school we have several teachers that came from public school and all of them took a pay cut, but they all report it was worth it to them because of the job satisfaction they receive from interacting with a more enthusiastic student body, involved parents, and no need to beg for supplies for their classrooms. There are pros and cons of each approach, just like some moms work and some stay at home. There's no right answer, there's only the answer for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like hearing these responses. But, I think it all really boils down to a status symbol. The education is really not that different, <--- Yes, yes it really IS quite different. at least not $30k different. Maybe I o lay feel this way because my kids are really happy and thriving in a good public school, surrounded by the kids of really engaged and smart people. Maybe it's because I'm not a teacher and don't care about how you structure your lesson plan. All schools are basically teaching these kids the same basic thing. <-- Waaaaay wrong. Privates dress it up and charge $30k and people will pay it, because people like to buy expensive things with small frills that make them feel better than.

No. Really, you could not be more incorrect about this. With the exception of math in ES and the hard sciences in MS and HS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like hearing these responses. But, I think it all really boils down to a status symbol. The education is really not that different, at least not $30k different. Maybe I o lay feel this way because my kids are really happy and thriving in a good public school, surrounded by the kids of really engaged and smart people. Maybe it's because I'm not a teacher and don't care about how you structure your lesson plan. All schools are basically teaching these kids the same basic thing. Privates dress it up and charge $30k and people will pay it, because people like to buy expensive things with small frills that make them feel better than.

I am a public school teacher from a long line of public school teachers but my DC goes to private school. It is a huge chunk of my income despite very generous FA. And every year, I have to fight my XH over reenrollment although he does not pay a dime in tuition or fees. It is not a status symbol for me. My DC has difficulty focusing in large groups, but not enough to qualify for SPED and thus, needs the much smaller class sizes of private.

[Anonymous]

New poster with HS freshman DS. Came from public middle school. Price of admission to his Jesuit high school is worth each and every penny because:

* Academics are more rigorous. Teachers set the bar much higher than in our MoCo W school.

* Writing is emphasized in each class, not just English. He is expected to write well in History, Biology, Religion, as well as English.

* Class sizes are much more manageable ranging from 19-26. I hear MoCo is up to 39 (more?) in high school).

* Single sex environment is something both DS and we wanted.

* Dress code is respectful. My boy now has style and he seems to like his new preppy look.

* Teachers, teachers, teachers. DS is always talking about his teachers, most of which he really enjoys. The impression I got from back to school night was that of a very high level of passion. A couple of teachers were new to the school and they are recruited from all over the country...someone even came from overseas to teach at our school. You just do not see that kind of recruitment from a public school.

* Cliques almost non existent. Yes the boys hang out with certain groups...but there does not seem to be the same level of cliques you find in our W school. The boys are encouraged to support each other.

I could list a lot more, but I think there is enough here to demonstrate the value of this private education vs public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op you just don't get "it".

+1 and never will.

OP sounds defensive and already has her mind made up. If you want more agreement, OP, try the public school forum.

[Anonymous]

Public schools teache one skill really, really well and that's to be cynical. Kids watch as adults have to put up with tons of bullshit regarding testing and student behavior. Despite what they'll say in public, kids coming from public schools have less empathy because of the crap they've observed. If you did some of the things in private school that you can get away with in public you'd be gone like s..t through a goose. Privates aren't perfect but there are, especially in DC, many folks willing to take your place. Get out of line the man he comes and takes you away. If you bring a weapon to a private school it's goodbye. In publics they'll try and cover it up and give you in school detention. It wasn't always that way but that's the way it is now. Girls can be sexually harassed at publics ...wouldn't happen for a day in privates. GFL with your public schools. I'll sell my plasma before my kids sit in a BS public school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like hearing these responses. But, I think it all really boils down to a status symbol. The education is really not that different, at least not $30k different. Maybe I o lay feel this way because my kids are really happy and thriving in a good public school, surrounded by the kids of really engaged and smart people. Maybe it's because I'm not a teacher and don't care about how you structure your lesson plan. All schools are basically teaching these kids the same basic thing. Privates dress it up and charge $30k and people will pay it, because people like to buy expensive things with small frills that make them feel better than.

I am a public school teacher from a long line of public school teachers but my DC goes to private school. It is a huge chunk of my income despite very generous FA. And every year, I have to fight my XH over reenrollment although he does not pay a dime in tuition or fees. It is not a status symbol for me. My DC has difficulty focusing in large groups, but not enough to qualify for SPED and thus, needs the much smaller class sizes of private.

I am another public school teacher sending my kids to private. It IS that different, and it is not a status symbol for us. It is 100% quality of education.

[Anonymous]

I get where OP is coming from, despite the troll-ish nature of the post.

Bottom line for us is that we can afford it. The teachers are not constrained in their curriculum by standardized testing. The curriculum is age-appropriate--lots of physical activity, arts, music, drama, that are integrated into the curriculum. No homework until 3rd grade. Facilities are amazing. Great library with dedicated librarians. Learning specialists in literacy and math. Science, art, and math faculty from PK onward. Teachers and administrators welcome and are highly responsive to parental concerns. Parent body is very involved.

Private school is a luxury, but if you are able to afford it, or willing to make the sacrifices, it is a luxury that is priceless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sad to say I think sometimes private school is just another country club to join. It doesn't make financial sense to join a country club either, but people do it because they seek status and reassurance.

Clearly, in cases where the public schools are underperforming, it's a different question, as you also say.

What is often hard for me to visualize is that for many people $35k a year just isn't all that much money, so for them it's not major stressful decision.

But imagine an analogy: there is a 100% free road that takes you from point A to point B in an hour. There is a parallel road that costs $1k a week (that's private school) and contains only Range Rovers and Lexuses and gets you from point A to point B in 45 minutes. You can't fault the OP for asking when it can look to many people like the differences are that small.

Also btw, public schools do not have nearly as much standardized testing as people on here are claiming. And I wonder how many tests their children had to take for admission to those schools and how much they had to prep for them.

PP, check out the news every now and then. "Clearly" there is as much testing as people are claiming according to the latest study by a reputable organization that represents leaders of school districts around the country. https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/education/study-says-standardized-testing-is-overwhelming-nations-public-schools/2015/10/24/8a22092c-79ae-11e5-a958-d889faf561dc_story.html

[Anonymous]

Education and childhood are a journey, not just the means to a destination like a name brand college or a high paying job. It matters to me how my child is doing from pre-K and 2nd and 5th to middle school and through the teenage years. At some points, it means sheltering them and at others it means exposing them to more grown up ideas sooner and more in depth than public schools can. I care a lot about my child having multiple adults he can turn to with issues he might not be willing/able to come to me. An independent school lets me pick where I am most comfortable, rather than having to make my preferences fit a large system that has to accommodate lots of others with different preferences. For me, it just means that I don't have any uses for $40k that bring me more "utility" than finding the best education setting I can for my child. Not everyone can afford to make that choice easily, but for those who can it is a simple one.

[Anonymous]

We live in a very good school district where our son thrived in public school through elementary. Even middle school started off ok, but by 7th grade, things were changing. It was no longer cool to be smart or to try hard or to be recognized for achievement by the teacher, so he started doing the bare minimum he could to do well enough to avoid our ire, but not so much that he would stand out as smart. He also started to dislike school.

We switched him to private school for high school, and it was the best decision we have ever made. Now a senior, he has enjoyed virtually almost every single day over the last 4 years. We thought we were coming for the academics - and they've been fine - but the true revelation for us has been all the other stuff: friendships, with both students and teachers; opportunities to try new things; receiving significant individual attention, and being known and respected for who he is, leading to increased self-confidence (not to mention the high-quality college counseling).

It's been such a huge difference that we switched our younger child at middle school - at a huge financial sacrifice - just to avoid the unhappiness our older encountered in middle school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We live in a very good school district where our son thrived in public school through elementary. Even middle school started off ok, but by 7th grade, things were changing. It was no longer cool to be smart or to try hard or to be recognized for achievement by the teacher, so he started doing the bare minimum he could to do well enough to avoid our ire, but not so much that he would stand out as smart. He also started to dislike school.

We switched him to private school for high school, and it was the best decision we have ever made. Now a senior, he has enjoyed virtually almost every single day over the last 4 years. We thought we were coming for the academics - and they've been fine - but the true revelation for us has been all the other stuff: friendships, with both students and teachers; opportunities to try new things; receiving significant individual attention, and being known and respected for who he is, leading to increased self-confidence (not to mention the high-quality college counseling).

It's been such a huge difference that we switched our younger child at middle school - at a huge financial sacrifice - just to avoid the unhappiness our older encountered in middle school.

We are considering private high school for our now-middle school aged DS for all of the intangibles you described. His public school education has been fine but I think the chance to be a part of a smaller community will do wonders for his now mediocre sense of self. Thanks for sharing your experience!

[Anonymous]

I am not in the DC area but in another major US city.

We have done public elementary magnet school. Always 24-25 kids per class each year. We are trying to move to private for middle school and the classes we saw when touring have had 6-12 students. The highest class sizes we are looking at are 15. Public middle schools have around 30 kids per class and have no where near the offerings. I am okay with giving one of these schools all my money. It is not about status, it is about fundamental problems with the public education system and how it is funded. There just isn't enough money for the public schools to do what needs to be done.

[Anonymous]

Cold hard data that is not subjective= 13 kids in class vs 26

My child get 2x the attention of the teacher (plus all the disruptive kids who monipolize the teachers time in public are weeded out via admissions process.

Is that worth 150 a day (22 an hour) to me? Yes. Best money I spend-objectively.