Please help me poop by tomorrow without interfering with my vacation

[Anonymous]

This is weird but works for me. Hold your pee. I'm not kidding. Don't know why it works but if I haven't gone in a few days, when I have to pee I hold it til I can't stand it and then usually poop when i finally pee. Not kidding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:0:03-- so hilarious!!

I drink magnesium citrate when I am extremely constipated. (They sell it in the pharmacy.) Drink 1 bottle and follow with 1 large glass of warm water. Wait for it to brew up in your belly-- takes anywhere from 45 minutes to 9 hours to go into effect, so you only want to do this on a day when you can stick around home. Usually I will do 1 major evacuation followed by a few smaller ones over the next couple of hours, and then I feel great. It doesn't give me bad cramps.

Dear God please don't do this unless you are looking to spend all night on the toilet! This is the exact same regimen they tell you to do prior to a colonoscopy!

My mother was prescribed this in addition to her daily Colace/ Metamucil/ bi-hourly warm prune juice. None of it worked. She had 2 ER visits for bowel impactions in 4 weeks.

[Anonymous]

POOP UPDATE!!! POOP UPDATE!!! POOP UPDATE!!!

[Anonymous]

Remember that couple that was addicted to coffee enemas?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Remember that couple that was addicted to coffee enemas?

oh!! Strange Addiction was my guilty pleasure, I wish it would come back.

[Anonymous]

Poop Status Update:

Thanks for all your heroic suggestions and best of TMI humanity tips and tricks. I got some prune juice, and drank a few mugs of plain hot water. I've never done an enema before, so it kinds of freaks me out.

I had some cat-like, small tootsie-roll poops yesterday. A substantial movement this morning, and a few small ones yesterday. Nowhere near 4 days worth of poops, but progress is progress and take what I'll get until we go home in a few days.

WTF does the human body do this?! Why does my digestion system flip out when not much has changed, except scenery? I don't have a fear of new places - I'll poop in a public restroom no problem if the occasion arises. I'll even sit on the seat! But as soon as I go out of town, my colon gets stage fright.

[Anonymous]

Enemas are not bad at all. They don't hurt and work fast. Fleets are too small though...use the kind that is part of a hot water bottle kit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Poop Status Update:

Thanks for all your heroic suggestions and best of TMI humanity tips and tricks. I got some prune juice, and drank a few mugs of plain hot water. I've never done an enema before, so it kinds of freaks me out.

I had some cat-like, small tootsie-roll poops yesterday. A substantial movement this morning, and a few small ones yesterday. Nowhere near 4 days worth of poops, but progress is progress and take what I'll get until we go home in a few days.

WTF does the human body do this?! Why does my digestion system flip out when not much has changed, except scenery? I don't have a fear of new places - I'll poop in a public restroom no problem if the occasion arises. I'll even sit on the seat! But as soon as I go out of town, my colon gets stage fright.

My SIL always gets constipated when she comes to visit us. She claims it's because the water is different? She now brings her own bottled water.

[Anonymous]

I get the same way, OP. I now bring along a bottle of the child size glycerin suppositories and use 1/2 every other morning I am gone to keep things moving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go to the nastiest store you can think of, like a Wal-mart or something similar. I will immediately have to poop in the nasty bathroom. My bowels hate me.

PS--I often have to poop at Costco, too. And I only poop a couple times a week.

This is so true. It happens to me at the grocery store fairly often as well. Why is that??

My friend used to call it mall-orhea. He'd go into a mall and suddenly would have to go. I think it's because you are in an environment with hundreds of things to look at/choices to make, and it triggers anxiety of some kind, which fires up your colon.

[Anonymous]

Whenever I feel constipated I do what I call "toilet yoga". I twist and stretch and bend and usually that gets things moving. Especially turning to the side and holding that pose, then the other side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Enemas are not bad at all. They don't hurt and work fast. Fleets are too small though...use the kind that is part of a hot water bottle kit.

I've never had a problem with Fleets.

OP- Put a towel down on the bathroom floor and roll another one for under your neck. Grab something to read. Lay down on your side (naked) and insert the enema. Then squeeze--there is no pain. (there will be some water left in the bottle) Then wait. You will start to feel things loosen up. But you want to stay down until you can't hold it any longer. Then jump up and Whoosh--problem solved!

[Anonymous]

Put your feet up when you sit on the toilet. Your knees should be higher than your belly button.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go to the nastiest store you can think of, like a Wal-mart or something similar. I will immediately have to poop in the nasty bathroom. My bowels hate me.

PS--I often have to poop at Costco, too. And I only poop a couple times a week.

This is so true. It happens to me at the grocery store fairly often as well. Why is that??

NP here--fascinating. For me, it's IKEA. Without fail. WHY???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go to the nastiest store you can think of, like a Wal-mart or something similar. I will immediately have to poop in the nasty bathroom. My bowels hate me.

PS--I often have to poop at Costco, too. And I only poop a couple times a week.

This is so true. It happens to me at the grocery store fairly often as well. Why is that??

NP here--fascinating. For me, it's IKEA. Without fail. WHY???

For me it used to be the library. In DC. Before it was renovated. Ew. I would walk in there and my bowels would start trembling.